It's on one of her old threads from probably back in late 2007 or early 2008. It would be much easier to find if the search feature worked.

I don't have time to look for it right now.

LC

Sending you prayers and hugs, Chrys.

I think it is really counter-productive to even entertain this thought with Chrys, given that most of us KNEW that was going to come out the way it did.

A big thank you and return of hugs to everyone who has been kind enough to post to me and/or Chewie.

Of course I don't believe his story. Of course he has made the relationship with OW his primary one and is protecting her.

I think it is Pep who says "Waywards lie. They just do." My husband is a confused, messed-up alien at the moment.

He told me this morning that the light went on in his head when he woke up and he finally "heard" that I can no longer feel safe in this community, no matter what, and that the minute he goes back to work I will feel afraid.

I told him that I *am* not safe, that no matter what his best efforts are, he will be in contact with her again and it will start up again.

And I told him that unless 2 things happen divorce is inevitable.

1. A massive change of heart on his part; AND
2. We leave the area.

As for specifics as to who to tell what, I ask you to kindly leave that stuff off the message boards. It is not wise for me to post my plans along those lines, even if I had any. I've heard you all.

He is off work today and tomorrow and has gone back to bed. We have not heard from OW this morning.

He seems to be beginning to get that his house of cards has utterly collapsed. Whether he will come to any real repentance remains to be seen. I've been quite blunt with him about my perspective about that; probably not so wise on my part but I am going to tell him how I see it. Nothing to lose, is there?

Thanks for bumping my threads; I don't think you need to keep bumping as he read them all yesterday at my request.

I may take the day off from further posting. I'm really, really tired.

I can only imagine how drained you must feel right now - physically, emotionally, spiritually. We've never really talked, but my heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Please take care and get some rest if you can.

Chin up, girl. All of this awfulness needed to happen for you to be able to really start recovery. I don't know if you will choose to recover with hubby or without him.

He is indeed ADDICTED. The OW is vicious and NASTY. He doesn't see that. Kind of like a heroin addict. He thinks his drug is beautiful.

YOU deserve better, and I urge you to continue demanding better. You are the beautiful one, and you have proved it by your devotion to him and your family.

And the way for him to recover is to have no access to his drug. You've tried trusting him, but it was the same as trusting a junkie.

Now that the truth is out, the Harleys can give YOU a plan. I would talk to them without hubby.

In the meantime, rest up and stay strong.

I could not think of anything that says it better than this quote from believer just up thread...


My heart is aching for you. You are strong, obviously strong even if it does not feel like it. Rest up and take good care of yourself. I am thinking of you and still sending peaceful thoughts to you. I am so sorry.

Sorry for your hurt Chrys. {{{Chrys}}}}

Try to get some rest. Sending prayers to you.

Chewie has arranged for the entire week off and has offered to give notice and request a leave of absence for the notice period. I am thinking about what I need before I respond. He does have to take call tomorrow night until 1 am but I can go with him if he has to go out.
He has a call in to our old pastor requesting a meeting as early as possible in the week.
We are trying to figure out what is possible financially in terms of how/when to leave the area and his job.

He has asked me if I can possibly give him another chance. To which I have responded that I do not know; that his life would be easier and simpler if we divorced and he would still have his life and support systems intact.

And I have told him that this will not be an easy road; that I will cut him no slack.

He is sitting in the room with me reading the book that Gordon MacDonald wrote after his rather spectacular fall.

And while I appreciate the spirit in which all your chastising of him has been done, I am not going to urge him to come here until he has had a day or two to take care of personal, spiritual business.

He tells me he feels lost.

As for OW, she sent him a couple of nasty, threatening emails this morning. Nasty towards me (personal attack), denying the affair, and threatening to go to HR. Gotta love her! Thats OK, I have a rather large volume of evidence.

I'm trying to eat and breathe but probably won't post any exercise victories today! Food is pretty much yogurt and soup-- that is all I can handle.

Don't stop praying just yet, OK?

I won't stop. Thinking of you.

Better beat her there.

I suggest you don't do anything right now. The OW isn't going to go to HR. She is a nasty homewrecker and isn't getting her way. Sucks to be her.

Things seem dark right now because the boil has been cut open and all the pus that has been festering in the dark is being cleaned out.

Head up high, lean on us, and know that YOU are the only good woman for Chewie. He is still in a dark place, and I will be praying for spiritual help for him.

Huh? I thought OW didn't work with your WH anymore?

Yeah, I thought that too.

Or maybe that is a new surprise from Chewie...

Check!

Why would the OW care if she was truly NOT having an affair with him. It is nutz her writing you angry stuff.

Ethereal= Out of this world...nutz!

Chrys:

I have started a prayer thread for you and your family.

((((to you all....especially your children))))

Oh, sorry. Yes, new surprise, before the poly. I'd found some evidence, which he denied, but he knew it was going to come up on the poly.

And when I completely melted down Saturday night (for probably the 7th night in the week) he lay awake beginning to feel the impact of what he had done.

Sunday morning he told me about the email account, that she was back working there at another office (which I had uncovered) and a few more things.

Oh, and Saturday night I suddenly realized I was hearing a muted version of ILYBINILWY and realized Sunday morning on awakening that there HAD to be ongoing contact. I told him that, and he began to open the floodgates.