I consider overreacting anything that involves your ex. Anything that involves your children is fair game.

If I were you, I would take them from the boys the minute you see them. Take a close-up picture and date the picture. Keep them in an electronic or RL folder.

Then wash the blankets and take another picture with date.

Keep doing this until you have a folder full of proof that nothing is getting done. Use it the next time you go to court, or the next time she brings it up, tell her that you have a notebook of evidence of what you consider lack of healthy parenting. Get her a little worried.

I did not think that the message was appropriate. It begs a contentious reply.

Could you not just clean it a little, maybe sent a little spot cleaner with them.

imagine,

It wasn't like the blankets were just a little dirty. They were filthy, covered in dog hair, and smelled bad.

I'd feel ashamed to let my kids leave my house with blankets in that condition, let alone to the other parent's house.

If they were just a little dirty, no biggie. But they were filthy to the point where I really did consider taking a picture and starting a folder on how nasty they've been the last few weeks I've gotten the kids. The blankets literally look like the dog slept on them and they smelled really bad.

Sorry, I sent it knowing she'd give me a contentious reply somehow justifying letting the kids go out so filthy, but the level of filth has its limits, in my book.

Overreacting would be calling child protective services. I just sent her an email asking her to please clean their blankets.

I will start documenting if I get such filthy blankets again from here on out.

There was no excuse for that level of grossness in blankets the kids use to sleep with.

It's not hard to throw them into a washer every other day or two with other laundry.

I'm sure there's other things she finds important, but I couldn't sleep well at night if I knew my kids were sleeping with filthy blankets that smelled bad.

Sorry, I guess that I was just raised with different standards for parenting.

Pom,

You are like my best friend. He is from Swiss stock. His logic is always right. I HUGELY respect this man. When something is wrong he tries to correct it and argues with those responsible to correct the issue.

What I propose is to learn to encourage defaulters to improve. His wife says that she can endure him for very short periods then she has to get out. I can testify to this too when we went camping together before his marriage.

I'm thinking of your future relationships.

Bottom line: Be encouraging when teaching.

Thanks, imagine.

Honestly, I don't try to lecture others. But the condition of these blankets warranted something be said. I don't like to either argue with her or even communicate with her.

She's going to deny in writing and she can continue to do so all she wants.

If she doesn't fix the problem then I'll simply build a portfolio of pictures with the disgusting conditions of the blankets and take them to someone who will hopefully be able to persuade her to wash them once in a while, preferably before she sends them to my house.

I won't have to defend the disgusting condition. She will.

But, if you knew me in person, you'd know I very rarely go and tell someone else what they're doing wrong.

She's taking this as an attack, but it's not.

Hi Pom,

Just got out of Church now and the subject was about encouragement. Christian coincidences NEVER surprise me anymore.

Your words encapsulated are precisely the kind of words that my buddy uses. And trust me, he is projected on getting the problem fixed.

Consider her position for a moment, she has lost the case with the attorney (good) but this may end up leaving her in a depressed state. Maybe even her domestic position? How good is this for the kids?

She has previously written to you to say how busy she was. Write back and say that the quality of cleaning does not meet her usual high standards. Apologize for any nit picking that you have done. Ask her if there is anything that you can help with.

I'm suggesting that you to use this softer science that she become more willing to share details with you.

A comment from our service this morning was for "Christians to cheer folk along".

Lets make it a habit.

I thought that exww had moved on somewhat with her life, but that's apparently not the case.

She's still reading my thread and is not happy that I have posted her responses on here for feedback from all of you. She either doesn't like your feedback or....

Who knows?

I figured she would simply move on after our case ended but still wishes to keep tabs on me.

So now what do I do?

I like helping BHes on this forum and like helping them come up with good plans to keep or protect custody with their kids.

Yet, the exww reads my posts and doesn't wish to just leave me alone.

What do you guys think and what should I do?

IMO as long as you're not doing anything illegal or damaging to your situation, you ignore her. It's not you hold her opinions in any high regard anyway, right?

You are divorced so what's the deal leo.

Sorry I haven't been posting. Exww has still not let go of reading up on me and has reported about my postings to the parenting coordinator.

So I thought she had moved on, but she's apparently still keeping up on me and my life through the forum.

Had the kids for a very looooong weekend. It was fun, but strep has crept in and gotten the kids sick. I'm afraid I have it now too. I only say that because I have a sore throat myself now and was eating DD6's ice cream at the mall today when she decided she didn't like it.

I gargled with listerine in the hopes of killing the germs, but I'm sure that would be a published medthod of stopping it if it actually worked.

Oh well. Haven't had strep in 3 years. Last time I had it was when I was in Walter Reed hospital.

Fitting since tomorrow is the 3 year anniversary of when my life was turned upside down and I came home from the war to the lovely news that WW wanted a divorce and had gone out with a bunch of guys before I came home.

Funny that one of the things that bugs me the most now is that I had no idea that was going to be the last time I ever landed the jet myself.

I would have savored the moment a bit if I had actually known that.

So I get an extra day home with the kids tomorrow. Might drag them all to the doc with me since I'm pretty sure I have it now too. We can all be sick together.

Have you thought about finding some PT work flying a Hawker 4000 or something of the likes?

Heck I could only DREAM od flying a turbine powered plane as I'm pretty much married to my Beech 19 now, but she's a good old bird.

Hi MrsxPom your comments would be thoroughly scrutinized - some good and some bad. Anything that you say here will only be understood between you and Pom.

God willing you will be able to pick up genuine faults in your hubby that can be built upon.

I presume by now you understand some of the stresses that Pom went through in order to recapture you. We all encourage him to put these behind as he ventures out again.

Ranting at Pom's ex for her behavior. Sorry to embarass you like that Pom.

Pariah,

I would like to fly again if I can. Don't know if I can pass the FAA physical right now, but it's worth a shot down the road when I have recovered my finances.

I have a good amount of time with the kids, a good job, an awesome girlfriend, and am happy with my life.

She's not going to get it and will continue to paint me as the bad guy and continue to justify her behavior 3 years ago.

That's fine. Karma will eventually catch up.

It's been good karma on my end lately.

How dare you move on and not be crying over her every night! How dare you want time with your children!

What did you ever do to deserve them? All you did was fight tooth and nail to get SOME visitation!

You should hand them over to the sk@nk.

/sarcasm

It's sad. Some women would go through anything to have a child to love and there's women like your ex who use their children as pawns in a sick and twisted game designed to [censored] over the ex.

I had a crazy night. The kids stayed home for the day since 2 of the 3 of them tested positive for strep. Probably passed it on to me. Getting that checked today.

I then had a meeting with the parenting coordinator. Got there late, but it was a good meeting about the state of affairs between exww and I and things I can do better or be on the lookout for.

Turns out that my concerns about upsetting the daycare staff were unfounded. They had a few issues with me, but the director isn't too pleased with (the way I understood it) exww going into the center and saying things about me to other staff memembers.

The director made a comment about a joke I made regarding one of my twins which the PC understood was a joke, but it apparently wasn't taken that way there. I've always joked that DSTwin2 would have made me wonder if DSTwin1 didn't come with him because he was born with blonde hair and blue eyes and I don't have too many fair skinned people in my family (though we do have german blood and a red head in there).

It was intended as a joke and it's one I've made for years, even when married, but I guess word got back to exww and she's a little sensitive to her rep and I guess sensitive to that whole infidelity thing.

I use to make the joke to her myself. I guess it's a little heavy handed joke, but it was born well before any waywardness entered our family and it was simply a joke about how different the boys were.

Regardless, I won't make it anymore.

But here's the topper:

I went to the ER last night with major pain in my side.

I hardly ever go to the ER. But I went last night because I had a pain in my side that just got worse and worse as the night went on.

It was so bad that I got out of bed and called a friend to drive me to the hospital. She didn't answer so I simply drove myself and hoped for the best.

I got there and the initial diagnosis was that I have a kidney stone.

So they gave me pain killers and a cat scan. I don't have kidney stones, but do have swelling of my intestine. I was given pain killers and sent home with little explanation.

How the heck does your intestine suddenly just swell?

So I'm home from work resting today and following up with my doc.

Anyone ever deal with this?

Oh man, Pom. D:

I wish whoever has your voodoo doll would stop poking it.

I tried to look it up but the best I could come up with is maybe a blockage or something, but I wouldn't quote me on that.

My intestines often swell if I eat too much boudin and cracklins and drink too much beer, but that's usually remedied the next morning after coffee

the last time I really had that much pain in my side, it was appendicitis. I'm sure they would have caught that though

Maybe you need one of the designer colonic cleanses I see advertised. All the rage among the stars, I understand.

But seriously, I hope you're doing well. It sounds a little scary.

Going to the doc right now.

Still in pain. Don't know what's causing it. Intestines swollen. What the heck causes that?

Maybe because I ate old Halloween candy?

Who knows.

It was a crazy day.

Will fill you in when I get back. Will probably still see the GF tonight. Could use a little attention. A little scary last night when I realized that while I do have people here I can call, I still felt a bit alone. Girlfriend is 30 minutes out. Friends were unreachable.

I know I could have called them, but felt a little bad. Make sense?

Not the same as calling mom or dad or a sibling.