Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 22 of 30 1 2 20 21 22 23 24 29 30
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 517
R
RMX Offline
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 517
Originally Posted by baron_richtofen
Be careful that she doesn't say that now that she's unemployed that she's going to stay at home and can watch the kids full time.

Does she have a degree?

Choosing not to work falls under "voluntary impoverishment" and can work against her.

Well she has to have a place of residence to be a SAHM doesn't she?

I don't think things rent-wise are going to get any easier now that shes unemployed.

Even with state benefits, it takes time for the gub'mint check to arrive, and thats if her employer decides to not fight her unemployment.




FBH 34 me,FWW 34,
DS 14, OC-D 12 (given up for adoption), DS-8, DD-5
D-Day#1 10-12-1998
D-Day#2 2-10-2008
Recovered!
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 843
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 843
I think a list is a fantastic idea. Start compiling now, but hold off giving it to her until you have custody of the children. I think that the sister and the mom should give it to her. NOT Pbiker


Make is a detailed list of what you both gave up as a matter of face. Column A will be Husband, Column B will be wife and column C will be POSOM. She will be out on the street soon or at her moms.

Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 601
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 601
WW has already threatened to have child support modified due to her unemployment. I doubt it would go through - the courts would collapse if everyone who lost their job filed to modify their child support obligations.


Me BH 35 WW 36
Married 1998
DS 2002
DD 2005
D Day 1 7/28/08
D Day 2 8/19/08

Divorce Final 3/19/2009
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 613
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 613
It "Child" support not "Soon to be Ex" support, that is called alimony!!

Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 601
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 601
Originally Posted by InLikeFlynn
It "Child" support not "Soon to be Ex" support, that is called alimony!!

Luckily WW is not eligible for alimony - in DE, as soon as you cohabitate, you are ineliglible to receive alimony.


Me BH 35 WW 36
Married 1998
DS 2002
DD 2005
D Day 1 7/28/08
D Day 2 8/19/08

Divorce Final 3/19/2009
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 2,531
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 2,531
Originally Posted by PSUBIKER
Originally Posted by InLikeFlynn
It "Child" support not "Soon to be Ex" support, that is called alimony!!

Luckily WW is not eligible for alimony - in DE, as soon as you cohabitate, you are ineliglible to receive alimony.

I'm sure this will be another thing that's "your fault"! Also FWIW, my first XH quit his job and told the court he was the better parent because he could stay home with DS whereas I had to work so DS would be in daycare. I ended up with full custody. He did a lot of other crap that cost him but I'm pretty sure the judge was not impressed with that.

Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 843
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 843
More sand slipping through her fingers. Find out when she is going to file and file for full custody the same day. I mean she will be admitting she can't afford to take care of the kids. Again. They think they have a good idea and it turns to crap in their hands.

Last edited by ouchthathurt; 02/27/09 09:18 AM.
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 601
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 601
Just got back from the courthouse. I just filed the Rule to Show Cause petition. A hearing should be scheduled soon to deal with this. I also faxed a letter to the school district where WW is moving to tell them NOT to enroll DS6 without my written consent. Hopefully I have my bases covered. If anything, I would love to be a fly on the wall if WW tries to enroll the kids - there's nothing better than being inside someone's decision loop!



Me BH 35 WW 36
Married 1998
DS 2002
DD 2005
D Day 1 7/28/08
D Day 2 8/19/08

Divorce Final 3/19/2009
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 2,531
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 2,531
Also contact the principal of your children's current school, let them know the situation and ask them not to release any records to any new school without your consent.

Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 843
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 843
I have to commend you. You have such a presence of mind. You seem to know what to do at every turn. But then again you're living it. Are you still holding off signing the divorce papers?

Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 843
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 843
I have to commend you. You have such a presence of mind. You seem to know what to do at every turn. But then again you're living it. Are you still holding off signing the divorce papers?

Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 601
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 601
Originally Posted by ouchthathurt
I have to commend you. You have such a presence of mind. You seem to know what to do at every turn. But then again you're living it. Are you still holding off signing the divorce papers?

I still haven't received the divorce papers. I already told the in laws I'm going to hold off signing the papers at least until she has a clue what she's going to do next. Once I sign the papers, she's off my health insurance. With situation she's in now, I can't see how signing the papers is in the kid's best interest. She needs to have health insurance. I look at it as a business decision.

As for presence of mind, I wish I had some back in July and August. I let WW's anger scare me into inaction. If I went with my gut, POSOM would have been off the farm after about two weeks. WW and POSOM are pretty predictable. It makes it easy try and stay one step ahead. Plus, WW has no money for an attorney. She is making all of her decisions by the seat of her pants with imput from POSOM. When your strategy seems to be to assume that everyone is stupid, it makes it easy to stay one step ahead.


I talked with mother in law last night for about 90 minutes - she's trying to get the guts to call POSOM's mother. I gave her the exposure is chemotherapy speech to her. I told her that her relationship with WW can survive WW's anger but it won't get better as long as POSOM is in the picture. WW and POSOM WILL go nuclear but it won't be anything we haven't heard before.


Me BH 35 WW 36
Married 1998
DS 2002
DD 2005
D Day 1 7/28/08
D Day 2 8/19/08

Divorce Final 3/19/2009
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,288
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,288
Originally Posted by PSUBIKER
I still haven't received the divorce papers. I already told the in laws I'm going to hold off signing the papers at least until she has a clue what she's going to do next. Once I sign the papers, she's off my health insurance. With situation she's in now, I can't see how signing the papers is in the kid's best interest. She needs to have health insurance. I look at it as a business decision.

This is good news. Does WW understand the need for doing this?


But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams -Yeats
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
How is all going with you and the kids PSUBIKER?

Did you get the court hearing?

Just was wondering if you were ok as you can be in the circumstances.

AW


Life may feel as if you are constantly getting kicked on a daily basis, living is about picking yourself up each day and going on and on and on regardless.

Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 601
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 601
Originally Posted by aussieswife
How is all going with you and the kids PSUBIKER?

Did you get the court hearing?

Just was wondering if you were ok as you can be in the circumstances.

AW

Thanks for the checkup! Not much has been going on this week. The courts were closed on Monday because of the weather so I haven't received anything back yet from the courts.

The kids had off from school on Monday and Tuesday + a delayed start Wed. because of weather. WW hasn't had to do the drive yet with the kids. Turns out, WW has been at the house all week because the closing was pushed out to today because of an issue with the survey. Everything is taken care of so we should be closing this morning! hurray

I have DD3 speech therapy tonight and a counseling session for DS6 so it will be a busy evening for me.

B


Me BH 35 WW 36
Married 1998
DS 2002
DD 2005
D Day 1 7/28/08
D Day 2 8/19/08

Divorce Final 3/19/2009
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,333
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,333
How did the closing go?


Me: 41, INFP
Her: 46, ESFJ
Married 6/95
B-G Twins
4 yrs recovered from serious neglect on my part.
So happy together!
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 601
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 601
Originally Posted by CuthbertCalculus
How did the closing go?

Just when I thought the drama was dying down...I received a call from realtor at around 3pm. Turns out, WW still had 13 horses and a garage full of stuff left to move out. Anyways, realtor tells me the buyers are holding 2500 in escrow until 7pm Sunday for WW to get everything out.

Twenty minutes later, WW calls and leaves a ranting voicemail on my work phone. She's tells I will call her or I won't get my money for the house. Plus, I need to help her and OM move the rest of the stuff out of the house or else. She also said the agreement says that she, OM, and me are the only ones allowed on the property. She says I'm not allowed to bring the police either. She tells me I will call her and I am not allowed to text or email her.

HMMMMMMMMM, let's see, WW and OM had already fabricated all sorts of stuff in the two PFA's she filed against me. WW is currently unstable, OM is an alcoholic who as part of his probation has to take anger management classes. Gee, that sounds like a great idea for PSUBIKER to go to the house this weekend to help WW move. rotflmaoI don't know, it kind of sounds like a set up to me.

So I text her back:
"If you like, I can take the kids this weekend so they are out of your hair during your move"

I'm still waiting for her answer.


Me BH 35 WW 36
Married 1998
DS 2002
DD 2005
D Day 1 7/28/08
D Day 2 8/19/08

Divorce Final 3/19/2009
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
Sorry to hear of the mess still going on... guess its to be expected.

If you do end up going out to help make sure you have 2 mates/ friends with you at all times at the very least.. or the Police.

It really does sound like a set up.... talk about a WW in the fog .. she all but explained step by step how they would set you up.
One moment she doesn't even know the closing date and suddenly she 'knows' no one but you can enter the property not even the Police????

She is definitely living in a fantasy world.

Just get that court order and keep the kids from seeing her fall like a sawn tree. When she's broke, homeless maybe living with her mum, and OM has shot through because the $$ are gone the crash is going to be loud enough to hear around the country.

Make sure you also take care of yourself.

AW


Life may feel as if you are constantly getting kicked on a daily basis, living is about picking yourself up each day and going on and on and on regardless.

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by PSUBIKER
So I text her back:
"If you like, I can take the kids this weekend so they are out of your hair during your move"

I'm still waiting for her answer.

Bravo to you!! hurray


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 202
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 202
Save those voicemails. Will be very valuable for later.

I still don't understand why you don't have custody of the kids given POSOM's history, warrant for his arrest, and WW's mental breakdown.

Is there something you're not telling us? Why don't you have the kids?

Page 22 of 30 1 2 20 21 22 23 24 29 30

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,116 guests, and 67 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5