Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 3 of 3 1 2 3
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 858
D
dkd Offline
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 858
Are you guys saying that WS have affairs in order to disrespect their S? I don't think that's true. No doubt disrespect is a consequence of affairs, but not the motivation for them,in most cases. The WS simply rationalizes that it's an unavoidable consequence, BS's fault for not meeting ENs etc, or just that the payoff for them is worth the cost to the BS.


Me 38
Divorced 8/09
DS 10,6
DD 4
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
Originally Posted by CuthbertCalculus
I kind of see it as just another aspect of entitlement. "This is my bed, and I'll do whatever I want in it." Not necessarily meant as a slap in the face of the BS, just another example of overwhelming selfishness.

I don't think it's anything more than simple logistics.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
Originally Posted by dkd
Are you guys saying that WS have affairs in order to disrespect their S? I don't think that's true. No doubt disrespect is a consequence of affairs, but not the motivation for them,in most cases. The WS simply rationalizes that it's an unavoidable consequence, BS's fault for not meeting ENs etc, or just that the payoff for them is worth the cost to the BS.

THE BS is not even a factor.

The WS does not consider the COST at all - not the cost to them for starters much less the COST to the BS. You guys are way overthinking this.

When a WS embarks on an affair they do not consider the BS at all - it's all about THEM doncha know.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 2,621
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 2,621
Originally Posted by bigkahuna
I don't think it's anything more than simple logistics.

This seems to reduce their actions all of them, to mere stimulus and optimal response.

This appears to say adulterers are no longer human. It says they are no more than automatons responding to a hardwired program.

If defiling the marriage bed is just another logical choice by adulterers, the logical extension is they should not be held responsible for any of their adulterous actions whatsoever.

Your argument reduces to: they may be guilty, but they are not culpable.

Your argument implies adulterers, even if they kill the OP’s spouse, say, are simply victims of evolutionary reproductive programming.

Oh, the poor machine, it could not help itself.

No. Sorry, they knew exactly what they were doing at all times. They may not have cared, still don’t even, but they chose. They chose every tiny little iota of their actions in the cold light of reason.

Although, I might be persuaded to agree most all WS should be transported for life to an asylum for the criminally insane. One preferably located on Mars.

eta: Wait. That would irk 2long. Let's make it Venus. Venus seems more appropriate anyway.

eeta: And not just becasue Venus is as hot as he11.

Last edited by Aphelion; 03/06/09 07:49 PM.

"Never forget that your pain means nothing to a WS." ~Mulan

"An ethical man knows it is wrong to cheat on his wife. A moral man will not actually do it." ~ Ducky

WS: They are who they are.

When an eel lunges out
And it bites off your snout
Thats a moray ~DS
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
Originally Posted by Aphelion
Originally Posted by bigkahuna
I don't think it's anything more than simple logistics.

This seems to reduce their actions all of them, to mere stimulus and optimal response.

This appears to say adulterers are no longer human. It says they are no more than automatons responding to a hardwired program.

If defiling the marriage bed is just another logical choice by adulterers, the logical extension is they should not be held responsible for any of their adulterous actions whatsoever.

Your argument reduces to: they may be guilty, but they are not culpable.

Your argument implies adulterers, even if they kill the OP’s spouse, say, are simply victims of evolutionary reproductive programming.

Oh, the poor machine, it could not help itself.

No. Sorry, they knew exactly what they were doing at all times. They may not have cared, still don’t even, but they chose. They chose every tiny little iota of their actions in the cold light of reason.

Although, I might be persuaded to agree most all WS should be transported for life to an asylum for the criminally insane. One preferably located on Mars.

eta: Wait. That would irk 2long. Let's make it Venus. Venus seems more appropriate anyway.

eeta: And not just becasue Venus is as hot as he11.

Incredibly long bow you draw Aphelion.

I totally disagree with you which I am sure will make both of us far happier.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 2,621
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 2,621
Quote
I totally disagree with you which I am sure will make both of us far happier.
Man, you had me worried. I was getting genuinely concerned.

You do realize, do you not, adulterers (and spouses in general) as robots is at the very root of MB methods.

ENs : Meet their ENs assiduously and always or the adulterer will adult. They won’t even be able to help it when they do it, and they won’t be able to help all that they subsequently do, even up to [fill in the blank].

You are married to a hard-wired (an MB quote, no less) robot, all they respond to are EN inputs. Don’t get sick; don’t get old; don’t even take a breath; just meet ENs. Or else!


"Never forget that your pain means nothing to a WS." ~Mulan

"An ethical man knows it is wrong to cheat on his wife. A moral man will not actually do it." ~ Ducky

WS: They are who they are.

When an eel lunges out
And it bites off your snout
Thats a moray ~DS
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
Originally Posted by Aphelion
Quote
I totally disagree with you which I am sure will make both of us far happier.
Man, you had me worried. I was getting genuinely concerned.

You do realize, do you not, adulterers (and spouses in general) as robots is at the very root of MB methods.

ENs : Meet their ENs assiduously and always or the adulterer will adult. They won’t even be able to help it when they do it, and they won’t be able to help all that they subsequently do, even up to [fill in the blank].

You are married to a hard-wired (an MB quote, no less) robot, all they respond to are EN inputs. Don’t get sick; don’t get old; don’t even take a breath; just meet ENs. Or else!

Aphelion it is no surprise to me your marriage has never recovered with attitudes like this.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,333
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,333
Originally Posted by Aphelion
They chose every tiny little iota of their actions in the cold light of reason.

They chose their every action in the heat of passion, not the cold light of reason.


Me: 41, INFP
Her: 46, ESFJ
Married 6/95
B-G Twins
4 yrs recovered from serious neglect on my part.
So happy together!
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
"You are married to a hard-wired (an MB quote, no less) robot, all they respond to are EN inputs. Don’t get sick; don’t get old; don’t even take a breath; just meet ENs. Or else!"

Aph, you're cracking me up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

Page 3 of 3 1 2 3

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 700 guests, and 55 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Bibbyryan860, Ian T, SadNewYorker, Jay Handlooms, GrenHeil
71,838 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5