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Joined: Mar 2009
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baron_richtofen,
Well I have no means to financially cut her off. Everything car, phone and such are in her name.
BH me-26
WW -26
married 3 Yrs together 6 yrs
DDay Jan 2009
Plan A/Planning B
D Coming Jul 8th 2009
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I have no means to cut her off financially. She is employed. And that would seem vindictive I believe.  Skeptical about what? That I don't have means to cut her off? Or just vindictive?
BH me-26
WW -26
married 3 Yrs together 6 yrs
DDay Jan 2009
Plan A/Planning B
D Coming Jul 8th 2009
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I need advice on the exact wording of the message now. Delivery seems important if I want people to understand that it's not a vindictive/hateful motion.
Last edited by Moncouer; 03/07/09 12:08 PM.
BH me-26
WW -26
married 3 Yrs together 6 yrs
DDay Jan 2009
Plan A/Planning B
D Coming Jul 8th 2009
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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YOU ! That I don't have means to cut her off? Then, this is your answer. But why did you write..... Posters on pro adultery boards call the betrayed spouses "vindictive" when they try to protect their assets.
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Some of these replies seem CUT and PASTE. Makes them hard to...translate into my issues. ^_^ But hey, your helping so woot!
I've said We are almost immediately and now living apart in separate domains. How do I provide plan A after exposure if we are not living together?
Last edited by Moncouer; 03/07/09 12:07 PM.
BH me-26
WW -26
married 3 Yrs together 6 yrs
DDay Jan 2009
Plan A/Planning B
D Coming Jul 8th 2009
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 271
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Pepperband,
Ah I see your point.
BH me-26
WW -26
married 3 Yrs together 6 yrs
DDay Jan 2009
Plan A/Planning B
D Coming Jul 8th 2009
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Pepperband,
Ah I see your point. When a newbie "BS" posts (word for word) right out of the pro adultery script ... I become
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Posts: 35,996 |
I need advice on the exact wording of the message now. Delivery seems important if I want people to understand that it's not a vindictive/hateful motion. Factual business-like language. Try writing it that way. Let's see what you come up with.
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To whom it may concern,
Recent events have brought to light that "my wife" committed adultery in our marriage with another man "named" and that this adultery has impacted our marriages stability and health. It has been an arduous time for the both of us where great pain has been caused by the presence of the adultery in our lives.
Have been implored by our councilor and myself to cease being an adulterer yet she has not given way.
I inform you so that this fact may be brought to your loving attentions and that you may take action as you deem appropriate in aiding or praying for our strength and successful recovery of our familial bonds in marriage.
Arbitrary closing,
-Me
Last edited by Moncouer; 03/07/09 12:49 PM.
BH me-26
WW -26
married 3 Yrs together 6 yrs
DDay Jan 2009
Plan A/Planning B
D Coming Jul 8th 2009
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
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affected by infidelity?
Don't you mean SHE COMMITTED ADULTERY?
Infidelity is not the common cold.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Joined: Mar 2009
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To whom it may concern,
Recent events have brought to light that "my wife" has betrayed our marriage's trust by committing adultery with another man "named" and that this adultery has impacted our marriages stability and health dramatically. It has been an arduous time for the both of us where unnecessary suffering and great upheaval has been caused by the presence of this adultery in our lives.
Having been implored by our councilor and myself for her to cease, "my wife" has yet to end her adulterous affair. "My wife" has strongly resisted in not proceeding with total discontinued contact with the other man "name."
I inform you so that this fact may be brought to your loving attentions and that you may take action as you deem appropriate in aiding or praying for our strength and the successful recovery of our familial bonds in marriage.
Many may feel that this is an unusual step in the healing process, but I assure you that there is no malice nor vindictive effort in it's delivery and that it is directed by the guidance of a marriage counseling body. Adultery thrives in secrecy and as long as it may remains hidden there is no stopping it. So as many of you were there to celebrate our coming together on our wedding day I request of you now to share in this time of recovery with us.
I have nothing but love, respect, and care for my wife. If you feel a need to discuss this with me or validate my claims, I am available in every way.
With the greatest respect,
-The Husband
Last edited by Moncouer; 03/07/09 01:20 PM.
BH me-26
WW -26
married 3 Yrs together 6 yrs
DDay Jan 2009
Plan A/Planning B
D Coming Jul 8th 2009
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 271
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OP
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BH me-26
WW -26
married 3 Yrs together 6 yrs
DDay Jan 2009
Plan A/Planning B
D Coming Jul 8th 2009
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 6,316
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Personally, I wouldn't send a letter to family and friends...I would call them up and say:
WW is committing adultery with OM. I love WW very much and want to save our marriage. Anything you could do to help me towards that goal would be greatly appreciated. Do you have any advice for me? (People typically like being asked for advice)
I understand that you are distraught, Mancouer, but I really think you are making this more complicated than it has to be...Simple phone calls stating the facts and asking for help and advice will suffice...
Hint: you WANT people to confront your wife about her behavior...you are not bestowing a secret upon them that you want them to keep...make that known: ie: Could you please talk to WW and try and help her see the folly of her current choices?
Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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The letter is for secondary family.
I'm going to call directly to close family.
BH me-26
WW -26
married 3 Yrs together 6 yrs
DDay Jan 2009
Plan A/Planning B
D Coming Jul 8th 2009
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 271
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Yea, the letter is getting to verbose I think.
BH me-26
WW -26
married 3 Yrs together 6 yrs
DDay Jan 2009
Plan A/Planning B
D Coming Jul 8th 2009
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 6,316
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The letter is for secondary family.
I'm going to call directly to close family. Okay...Personally I would make the letter more concise... When will you be making these phone calls? Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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It's just I know delivery is so important. I'm over focusing on it maybe.
BH me-26
WW -26
married 3 Yrs together 6 yrs
DDay Jan 2009
Plan A/Planning B
D Coming Jul 8th 2009
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 271
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Once I have all the numbers I need.
BH me-26
WW -26
married 3 Yrs together 6 yrs
DDay Jan 2009
Plan A/Planning B
D Coming Jul 8th 2009
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 6,316
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Yea, the letter is getting to verbose I think. Yes, I concur... WW is committing adultery with OM. I love WW and want very much to save our marriage. Anything you can do to help towards that goal would be greatly appreciated. Straight to the point is best, imo... Mancouer, my affair ended the very day that my mom called OM and let him have it...She and Mr. W conspired together on what was to be said...(My mom knew OM since our childhoods - it worked best that she make the call)...My point is, don't underestimate the pressure on OM's side of the fence...Those exposure targets are VERY POWERFUL indeed... Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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It's just I know delivery is so important. I'm over focusing on it maybe. This isn't stand-up comedy...Delivery counts less than the cold hard facts here...To the point...No hemming and hawing... What more needs to be said? 1. WW is committing adultery with OM. 2. I love WW very much and want to save our marriage. 3. Anything you can do to help us save our marriage would be greatly appreciated. No need to go around your elbow to get to your heiney...KWIM? Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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