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To whom it may concern,
It has come to my attention that "my wife" has betrayed our marriage's trust by committing adultery with another man "named" and that this adultery has impacted our marriages stability and health dramatically.
Having been implored by our councilor and myself for her to cease the adultery, "my wife" has yet to end her affair. "My wife" has strongly resisted in not proceeding with total discontinued contact with the other man "name."
I inform you so that this fact may be brought to your loving attentions and that you may take action to show my wife the folly in her way and to pray for our strength and the successful recovery of our familial bonds in marriage.
I have nothing but love, respect, and care for my wife. I want our marriage to continue and for us to be loving in it. And I am prepared to put all my effort into this marriages recovery.
With the greatest respect,
-The Husband
Last edited by Moncouer; 03/07/09 01:42 PM.
BH me-26
WW -26
married 3 Yrs together 6 yrs
DDay Jan 2009
Plan A/Planning B
D Coming Jul 8th 2009
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Moncouer...
May I make a suggestion? How about you do the immediate family and OM's family FIRST and see if that does the trick? When you say "secondary family", are you meaning people like Aunt Sally and Uncle Fred who WW only sees once a year at Christmas? I'm not saying that they wouldn't make good exposure targets in the second round of exposure, but why not see if the main targets get this taken care of first?
Call OM's mama & daddy TODAY...I think sitting here spinning your wheels on endless letters that are TOO LONG is a waste of your time...
What do you think?
Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Hehe, she sent me a Facebook flair (like a pin-button) with "Peace, Love, Wine" on it.
I have no idea what that was suppose to mean.
That bolsters me now. To know that this might actually work if she is still "poking" to see if I'm receptive to her since I accepted the flair piece.
Maybe that is what I'll do. I'll tell the immediate family. And not tell her that I will expand the pressure if she does not relent.
BH me-26
WW -26
married 3 Yrs together 6 yrs
DDay Jan 2009
Plan A/Planning B
D Coming Jul 8th 2009
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Agree with MrsW, just pick up the phone and start talking. There is no need to overcomplicate this and get bogged down in analysis paralysis.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I think I'm going to do her the favor and wait until after her spring break. Since it is suppose to be a time of fun for her.
I know...I know. I'm weak but there is so much stress for her I'm not sure if ruining her first trip to New York (w/out me to boot) is what I should do.
Or then again...it'll really put the weight on her because she'll be out of town and unable to physically confront me.
BH me-26
WW -26
married 3 Yrs together 6 yrs
DDay Jan 2009
Plan A/Planning B
D Coming Jul 8th 2009
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Wanting to wait... That's me delaying isn't it?
BH me-26
WW -26
married 3 Yrs together 6 yrs
DDay Jan 2009
Plan A/Planning B
D Coming Jul 8th 2009
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Maybe that is what I'll do. I'll tell the immediate family. And not tell her that I will expand the pressure if she does not relent. Of course you don't tell her your battleplans! Forewarned is forearmed! There is no "maybe" to this Mancouer...You either WILL or you WON'T...Which is it? You need to get started TODAY...The courage is in the doing...You can't wait around for some magical feeling to overtake you...You must ACT... Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Wanting to wait... That's me delaying isn't it? YES! Waiting til after Spring Break, so she can have "fun" all while your marriage is being DESTROYED???  Knock it off, man-up and get this done, Mancouer...double time... Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Oh, we haven't addressed one thing.
Do I just let her make her decisions based on what you've told me?
I don't ask her to leave the other man, I simply inform family, sit, and wait, while improving myself?
BH me-26
WW -26
married 3 Yrs together 6 yrs
DDay Jan 2009
Plan A/Planning B
D Coming Jul 8th 2009
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I think I'm going to do her the favor and wait until after her spring break. Since it is suppose to be a time of fun for her.
I know...I know. I'm weak but there is so much stress for her I'm not sure if ruining her first trip to New York (w/out me to boot) is what I should do.
Or then again...it'll really put the weight on her because she'll be out of town and unable to physically confront me. Good grief Moncouer! My guess is that OM is going to be in New York too... [sarcasm]Maybe you should just offer to buy them theatre tickets and pay for a nice dinner out afterwards...[/sarcasm] OR, you could man-up and expose now and possibly prevent that! Not to mention, who cares if she physically confronts you?????? Exposure is supposed to tick her off...It's not a tea party!  C'mon...MAN-UP...Git 'er done!!! Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Oh, we haven't addressed one thing.
Do I just let her make her decisions based on what you've told me?
I don't ask her to leave the other man, I simply inform family, sit, and wait, while improving myself? I'm not sure I understand your question, but you certainly do NOT inform her that you are going to expose... But, yes...that's right, expose while simultaneously becoming the best husband you can be... Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Another thought. I tell the immediate family. What signs am I looking for that I shouldn't soon go and expand the exposure?
Last edited by Moncouer; 03/07/09 02:20 PM.
BH me-26
WW -26
married 3 Yrs together 6 yrs
DDay Jan 2009
Plan A/Planning B
D Coming Jul 8th 2009
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Oh, we haven't addressed one thing.
Do I just let her make her decisions based on what you've told me?
I don't ask her to leave the other man, I simply inform family, sit, and wait, while improving myself? I'm not sure I understand your question, but you certainly do NOT inform her that you are going to expose... But, yes...that's right, expose while simultaneously becoming the best husband you can be... Mrs. W Again, being the best husband I can be is hard when we are "separated". I'm still not sure how I'm going to pull that off. The question clarified: I was asking, do I just let her react and not say anything about leaving the other man? Just let her decide what to do?
Last edited by Moncouer; 03/07/09 02:25 PM.
BH me-26
WW -26
married 3 Yrs together 6 yrs
DDay Jan 2009
Plan A/Planning B
D Coming Jul 8th 2009
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Oh, we haven't addressed one thing.
Do I just let her make her decisions based on what you've told me?
I don't ask her to leave the other man, I simply inform family, sit, and wait, while improving myself? Righto. Expose the affair, mancouer. The sooner the better.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Oh, we haven't addressed one thing.
Do I just let her make her decisions based on what you've told me?
I don't ask her to leave the other man, I simply inform family, sit, and wait, while improving myself? Righto. Expose the affair, mancouer. The sooner the better. Yes! Don't delay! Do it TODAY! Did you get ANY sleep? Charlotte
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Another thought. I tell the immediate family. What signs am I looking for that I shouldn't soon go and expand the exposure? Moncouer, One day at a time...Let's get the first round of exposure done and see what happens...Come back here and report...Battle plans will expand then, okay? Plan A is demonstrating a WILLINGNESS to meet the needs of the WS should they return to the marriage - make yourself inviting and appealing...Even if you were living with her she wouldn't be receptive to you meeting her needs right now...Plan A is about making yourself into a husband that any woman would be proud to be married to, got it? Be confident, go out and live...Buy new clothes, new cologne, get a tan, start working out... Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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As I've said two family members know...an Aunt and uncle.
Is that good enough for now in terms of exposure?
As a start? This was this week before I started talking to you guys about this in depth.
The aunt and uncle are advising that it's a bad idea to do this. And I respect them a great deal. 31 years married.
Last edited by Moncouer; 03/07/09 03:20 PM.
BH me-26
WW -26
married 3 Yrs together 6 yrs
DDay Jan 2009
Plan A/Planning B
D Coming Jul 8th 2009
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THey keep telling me to wait the course of this out...and obviously that's what I've been doing and it's not working.
I'm going over to their house to talk to them in an hour and i'll make my decision after that. If they can't provide me ANY method that sounds better than this I'll go ahead with exposure.
Because this all makes sense. She is getting to eat her cake and have it too with me standing on the side while she has her long distance affair.
BH me-26
WW -26
married 3 Yrs together 6 yrs
DDay Jan 2009
Plan A/Planning B
D Coming Jul 8th 2009
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As I've said two family members know...an Aunt and uncle.
Is that good enough for now in terms of exposure?
As a start? This was this week before I started talking to you guys about this in depth.
The aunt and uncle are advising that it's a bad idea to do this. And I respect them a great deal. 31 years married. What is their reasoning on this? That it will make your WS angry? That it will cause a rift between WS and other family members? Have they ever experienced infidelity? I'm sure it sounds counter-intuitive to them because it seems that way. Are they on your side of the family? Charlotte
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Because this all makes sense. She is getting to eat her cake and have it too with me standing on the side while she has her long distance affair. EXACTLY!! If you are very close to them, why don't you direct them here and let them read the articles on this site? Let them watch the Infidelity video that's on the home page. Charlotte
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