You know, Cat has a good idea. In fact for a long time I wondered if I just got it faster than most guys but I've come to the conclusion that most guys don't read here very much. They want a short cut and there aren't any.

When I got here I read hundreds of threads, some going back 5 or 6 years. I read Longhorn's stuff and Bob Pure's thread before I ever even registered. I read WAT and Graycloud and Larry...My first post came after I had read SAA and was working on HNHN...

I learned reverse babble from Orchid and learned to focus from Swords. I learned to have some fun with this stuff from Pep and Mel.

Read what others have learned, Monc. No point in having to reinvent the wheel.

When I got here I felt my situation was totally unique. NO one could have ever been through what I was going through...

It took me all of three minutes to read the flash script running at the side of the page and a couple of threads to understand..."ILYBINILWY" "Too much has happened" "I need space" "I can't change the way I feel" "I don't feel that way about you."

These things all run right down the side of this very page as I type this. I heard every word. When I saw them I knew that either affairs are all alike or someone had bugged my vacation cabin.

You don't need insight, man. You don't need special revelations from God. You don't even need something special or magical. You need a PLAN that you can execute...

Unless YOU are done and then you just need a good lawyer to protect your rights and assets.

Mark

AMEN Mark!

Monc, breathe and read and listen to all the advice. You are getting the best here.

If you have not and are able make an appointment with Steve Harley. I think I saw where you were going to do that? He will get you on a plan and you will feel more grounded and able to cope. He has helped me keep my sanity. For you, please. Take in everything here, they have all been there and know what works.

I will keep reading and rooting for you.

26 with no kids and a lying unfaithful wife just a few years into the marriage?

Why stay married? There's actually good faithful women out there.

Well I'm going to tell her who knows.

Three cousins of hers and her parents.

And let her sit on that.

I have nothing further to lose.

And going to call the OM mother.

You don't have to tell her anything.

If you're going to use Exposure as a tool to kill the A, use it properly.

You are NOT using it properly at the moment.


1. DO NOT TELL YOUR WW OF YOUR EXPOSURE PLANS. Let her find out on her own who knows and doesn't know.

2. EXPOSE TO ALL PERSONS YOU BELIEVE CAN HELP TO END THE A. The objective is to shine the cold light of reality on the A. You are NOT doing that by limiting the exposure to only a few persons, then telling your WW about that afterwards.

The OM just stonewalled me. TOld me to never call there again.

Said I should talk to my wife...lol

My wife even told me the OM's mom wouldn't want to hear anything let alone talk to me.

Nobody I've told has been willing to "HELP".

Even her friends don't care and ratted on me...


This is just done.

My wife keeps claiming it's me she's leaving and not for him. Lol

So, did you ask to speak to the OM's mom?

If you didn't get through, continue trying.

If you still can't get through, pay her a visit.

Ignore the fog-babble from your W.

No the OM's mother stonewalled me. I talked to her. She said I don't want to talk to you, talk to your wife.

What do you mean by that?



So, file for D, and get that WW out of your life as quickly as possible. What's the saying - the best way to get revenge on someone who steals your W is to let him keep her?

What is it that you actually want, Monc? What's your end goal?

Monc, people react in different and sometimes unexpected ways when they're told about something that is particularly upsetting to them. The point now is that she KNOWS, and she will view her son's actions in a different light. The same goes for the other people you've told.

Well nobodies actively helped.

And I won't file for divorce.

So my wife said she would when she has "time" since she is so busy.

I don't know who else to tell that can exert pressure.

They've advised me but not confronted her.

The theory of this seems sound, but people's reactions are...resistant. Like I'm the adulterer.

And the OM's mom knows who I am but acted like she didn't.

So I shouldn't tell her that her parents knows even if they are not helping? I thought I was suppose to tell her afterward about who talked too.

Get back the woman I married.

Some of her friends who I told, went to her and said "I was revealing" the affair when I called asking about the OM's moms work place.

You've got her.

At 26 you ought to re-think your poor choice while you're still young.