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Thinking and praying for you Tully!
If there is anything I can do to help your cause (research or anything) please let me know.
You and the girls deserve so much better.
Mindshare
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Good Luck, Tully! Keep strong. You are in my thoughts Silda
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Just take it a day at a time Tully. Our thoughts are with you.
BS 32 (1st marriage), WH 38 (2nd marriage), DD 3, DS 1 Married Aug 2002, EA/PA 2005, NC mid 2005 EA Jun 2008, Plan A, 1 Aug 2008, WH moved out 14 Sep 08, D-Day 14 Sep 08, Moved home 2 Nov 08, moved out 30 Nov 08 Plan B, 2 Dec 08, broken 5, 11, 15 & 17 Dec 08 Current Status: Contact for visitation, children and finances. Embarking on a new plan to Let go and Let God and to not settle for less than I deserve!
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Dear Tully:
Bump up.. How are you? I have not posted, but have been thinking about you quite a lot.
Of all the advice posted, I hope, as a writer, that you are keeping a daily journal of the events (dated- no spaces- the like) of what you are going thru.
You can have one that is "just the facts", and one that is talking about your personal experiences, this can become a very powerful statement from you, in court (or a novel). Maybe in the future (when you are back home and normal) you can write a bood or give lecture to women who are going thru similar issues with abuse.
When I went to HAVEN (when my friend was killed- a women's supprt group about DV) the best speakers were former survivors who talked to us to help us heal.
Also, document the group that is representing your husband as much as you can.
I know there is much confusion (clarified by Silda- thanks) about mediation. I know that as a Union member, I have binding arbirtation, we also have (out of court )mediation, (some have counselors- some do not include counselor) and a court ordered mediation (or that is what it was called when my SIL had to go with it) These types of problem resolving are very close looking at first gean-, but very different in nature <as I have found out on this post>. I think people are talking from their perspectives- as really you must- it is your only option-- but everyone wants to help.
Remember that even if it is not pleasent to read, there have been posters here who have given you an EXCELLENT perspective of what your husband may, and probably will present. As I said before, he showed his true colors and cards early, and you have an opportunity to prepare-- that is priceless.
Please keep us posted when you are ready. Nancy
Me; W 46 Him; H 46
2 girls DD19 DD16 Dated/Married total 28 years. ..I am learning and working on myself.
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Dear Barbiecat and the rest of Tully's friends, I am Tully's sister and this is just a quick post to let you know that she is fine. She is is good form and keeping occupied with the girls. I spent 5 days with her in France and she is in good form and getting great advice.  I obviously cant say too much on this forum as it is not what she wants at the moment but rest assured that she is fine and still talks about you all individually. It is strange to think that there are people we have never met who care so much about her - strange but lovely. Hope all is working out well for you all, J
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Tully told us what great sisters she had. Send my love, J! Tell her an email is on the way, please.
BW Married 1989 His PA 2003-2006 2 kids.
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Whew! Thanks for letting us know - I really appreciate that. Prayers continue on her behalf.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner. ~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Thanks for dropping a line. Give my best to tully and all the tullster family.
BW - me exWH - serial cheater 2 awesome kids Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot. --------Eleanor Roosevelt
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I'm horrible with time zones...is it the 24th yet in France?
Thinking about you tully. Keeping fingers crossed for good news.
BW - me exWH - serial cheater 2 awesome kids Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot. --------Eleanor Roosevelt
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It was about 4AM on the 24th when you wrote, b_r. It will be 11AM in France now. I suspect that not much will be decided by a judge today, but I'm sending my good wishes also, tully.
BW Married 1989 His PA 2003-2006 2 kids.
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Thinking of you and your girls, Tully.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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Hi All, Tully sister here again. Nothing happened on the 24th March due to a legal technicality and the new date is now 5th May. It was a bit of a blow but Tully has now embarked on a serious fact finding mission! She is really busy and has stopped using the computer at home - hence my intervention. I don't want to post anything on this forum that WH may be able to use and I don't know how to send a private email (Sugar Cane - I tried sending you a Personal message but it is saying that this facility is disabled??!! - also tried Neak and Black Raven but got the same response!). I have set up a new hotmail account but am unsure whether I should post the address here - if you have any suggestions?? Tully is in resonably good form - a few little wobbles here and there but overall coping very well.
Thank you very much for your hugs, kisses, good wishes and prayers,
J
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Barbiecat
tell Tully I am thinking about her- would love to be in the loop
Me; W 46 Him; H 46
2 girls DD19 DD16 Dated/Married total 28 years. ..I am learning and working on myself.
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Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage ********************* “In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Glad to hear from you, even though this whole mess continues to drag on. Your sis is so amazing, and very fortunate to have you and her other siblings.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner. ~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Add me to that list too....
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And please let Tully know she's in my prayers, as she is in so many others. She blessed to have a sister such as you, 031007.
Me (FWW): 45 BH: 46 M: 11/94 PA: 2/08 (4 mos) Confessed: 10/08 DS10 DD8
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Hi Folks,
Wow - I'm bowled over by your responses - I cannot believe that you all care so much about Tully. I was so touched, I rang Tully in France to tell her and she was so appreciative of your goodwill.
From the Tullster family - Thank You,
J
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I, too, would like to know how she is doing....
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