I see. This will be a CRUCIAL hearing because even though it's for TEMPORARY custody, more than likely whatever is decided here will be set in stone in the final orders.

I agree with PM. This counselor is hardly impartial. That should be evident by the fact that your WW wants to call her. Your WW does not have the girls best interest in mind; she only has HER best interest in mind.

Your childrens mother has scr*wed these kids up in ways that will effect them for years. She has taught them that wrong is right at the most vulnerable time of their lives. They will fumble through life until figure out that making up your own rules as you go along is a hard, hard, painful life. She is training them to be little cheating ho's like her.

Additionally, she has done her best to turn them against their dad at a time they need him most. Girls who lose their dads at this age, look for love in all the wrong places. It is a crying shame what your wife has done to those girls.

As far as mediation, I would point out that negotiating with a terrorist is never a good idea. I hope you bypass that and fight like hell for full custody of your girls. And some serious counseling to undo the immoral guidance your wife has poisoned them with.

Been a busy few days.

Counseler.....out. Counseler can't even speak in court so there is no reason for her to come!

Kids.....not going to court. This is a verbal agreement with WW.

A bit fighting over the weekend...WW said she has NEVER been happy in our marriage. I pointed to about a dozen pictures around our house of us and said " you were happy here, here, here"......one pic was when we renewed our vows in Vegas! I know...fog babble!

Yesterday I asked her where she plans on living. At first she didn't want to answer! She can't trust me....I know..LOL.

So......
Her parents own a house about 10miles away. They are gonna rent it to her temporarily. She says 4-6months then she will be back in our area.

We discussed a every other week scenario. During her weeks during school the kids will come home here until she picks them up after work. During her bush season (tax time) the kids will be with me longer. On my weeks when I have bible study, counseling etc she will watch the girls.

We talked about some plans for summer vacation, holidays etc.

She thinks she is entitled to 50% CS.....not sure why...haven't found out yet.

I think this arrangement is good for me and the kids!

During school I will see them 12 days in a row!

I think this arrangement makes me residential parent....maybe even custodial....not sure yet.

What do you guys think?

I would have your attorney ask her for alimony and child support FOR YOU. Additionally, I would have the attorney put an agreement in there that your DD's are not to be exposed to her adultery partners. Exposing girls to strange men is how young girls get molested. And your wife is clearly a very bad parent who does not have your DD's best interest at heart. The odds of them being molested or abused goes way up with her promiscuous lifestyle. It is also not good for your DD's to be taught that this is an appropriate manner for a decent woman to behave.

[u][i][b]Abuse Risk Seen Worse As Families Change[/b][/i][/u]

- Children living in households with unrelated adults are nearly 50 times as likely to die of inflicted injuries as children living with two biological
parents, according to a study of Missouri abuse reports published in the journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics in 2005.


- Children living in stepfamilies or with single parents are at higher risk of physical or sexual assault than children living with two biological or adoptive parents, according to several studies co-authored by David Finkelhor, director of the University of New Hampshire's Crimes Against Children Research Center.

- Girls whose parents divorce are at significantly higher risk of sexual assault, whether they live with their mother or their father, according to research by Robin Wilson, a family law professor at Washington and Lee University. . . .

- The previous version of the study, released in 1996, concluded that children of single parents had a 77 percent greater risk of being harmed by physical abuse than children living with both parents. But the new version will delve much deeper into the specifics of family structure and cohabitation, according to project director Andrea Sedlak.

I agree 100% with a "no non relative romantic interest clause". I will abide by it as well. Basically it means no overnite guests of the opposite sex unless family/spouse.

As far as me NEEDING $$ from her...no thx! If the judge makes her...fine.

What about daytime boyfriends? Exposing your girls to her adultery is terrible and risky for them whether the bf spends the night or not.

An every other week arrangement is pretty tough on the kids. One suggestion that I heard and that I like a lot is the 5 on 5 off plan because that keeps the days of the week consistent for all involved.

So you would, for example, see the kids on a Monday and Tuesday, she gets them Wed and Thurs, and then you alternate weekends. This allows you to make plans for the off days that don't change during the week.

I would also not make things too easy for her. If you have the girls more than 50% of the time, then you will be the custodial parent and she will pay YOU child support, not the other way around.

I would encourage her to give you as much time as possible and then leave the CS calculation up to the formula of the state you're in.

You'll get money as the primary caretaker, not that you necessarily want it.

I would also have confidence. The system does appear to be biased, but if you play your cards right you can win as a man and get primary custody.

You have to be prepared and smart about it.

I agree Mel....we are still married (not according to her of course).

"The children are not to be exposed to any "significant other" while with either parent until the divorce is final".

How's that sound?

Baron.....I personally like going by the "calender weeks". 5 on 5 off will probably confuse me!!

Good to see the boards are back up! Not so I can whine....just so I can vent/see myself type! LOL.

Mediation......
In by 9am out by 11amish. We agreed on everything. Joint legal/residential is the term
Holidays
Every other week scenario
The "extra" time the kids will spend with me. Some of you my say "don't be a doormat"....they way I see it I get to see my girls 12 days in a row during the school year! During her busy times of the year....approx 5 months I will see them even more!

Chances of WW living in our neighborhood.....30%. Even after her temp housing she probably won't be able to live to close.

Things around the house have been less tense lately. WW still isn't around much.

No CS was mentioned during mediation. If/when her attorney brings it up (for her) hers what I figure.....

1. I will have the kids for more "parenting hours" then her...evryday after school....till April 15th that's at least 6:30pm. During her regular hours that's till about 5:30.

2. I am currently carrying all joint debt....except her car.

3. Her housing is "presumably" free/almost free....it's family.

Personally....I can't wait to not see her everyday!

We discussed a few things via email these last few days....
NO persons of "romantic interest" when either of us are with the kids.
Summer trips we are gonna modify between us a little differently then the mediation agreement.

Couple "funny" things....
WW sent me he standard "weekend plans" emai. Sat she said if the girls weren't gonna be home she would stay elsewhere. I replied why that makes any difference now? She called it sarcasm....I said honesty!

D9 went to a friends last night....WW was all concerned about homework, chores, dinner, etc. We mail back/forth and she comments how we don't have a "real" dinner time. I tell her that for the past few months we have eaten between 5-6pm everyday...no reply.

I don't think she realizes how bad she is gonna have it! She has barely cooked a meal, done any homework, stuff like that in months!

I got my groove on already!

My kids are gonna be bored to death by "her house"! No cable, Internet, friends, stuff like that. Her grandma lives 2 doors down.....76 yrs old.....and NOT happy with WW rite now. I talked to her awhile on her B-day (Thursday).

Not much else I can think of....I am ok I guess....I have my moments....

When does she have to get out so her family does not have a front row seat to her alley cat in heat act?

If the paperwork isn't "official" by march 25ths court date the mediator said we could do a handwritten agreement in court stating we have an agreement and would like to move ahead.

We agreed we would start the week of march 28th being "my week" so she could get the place ready.

Get what place ready? Her new home? Does she have a place to move to?

She is renting a house owned by her parents about 10 miles away. She says it's temporary and she will be moving back to the district. I am going to insert a clause that she has to move back by the first of the year.

yippee!

Your reply makes me smile Mel!

Whatcha thnk of my plan so far?
Doormat?

what debts would she get? Would this be split up? What about insurance, etc? She would have to pay her own car insurance and any other bills, right?

Does her Gma know your WW is busting up the family for her adulterous affair?

As far as the debts....I was just "thinking out loud". The legal system may make me give her some $$.....I was just using the joint debt I pay rite now as a way to say to the judge.....if she truly is entitled to some $....shouldn't we be realistic about her lack of contributing to our families debt? She does pay for her (technically our) car. I dropped myself off our insurance last year so she is on her own with that.

Gma.....she is absolutely sick to death about what is happening! Gma is VERY dependent on WWs family so she doesn't make many waves.

Is she helping to pay the family debts? What about mortgage? utilities? What about all that? Will she have to pay you alimony and CS?

The correct one word answer is no. Reality is "kind of". She was giving me a spreadsheet monthly totalling $1000 in expenses. Kids clothes, odd Dr bill, food, stuff like that. Since jan 1 I have received aprrox $1000 total.

As far as paying me.....if the courts make her.....if not I make almost twice what she does....I am fine.

Rite now we are in the "temp" stage. Not the financial part

What was she giving you a spreadsheet for? I mean, the kids live with you and have lived with you all this time. i am very confused.