Also what did Freud call the syndrome?

TJ/

Holy, I'm interested in why you lumped this in with your OW's "bad" qualities. I found it a little offensive, since two of my BEAUTIFUL grandchildren are biracial.

/TJ

The Madonna/Whore syndrome is well-described in acres of literature. I'm sure if you google it you'll come up with thousands of hits.

It seems fairly simple. A man makes a subconscious distinction in his mind between nice girls and 'dirty' girls. Nice girls are good women and don't really like sex. 'Dirty' girls DO like sex (in his mind). Therefore the only way he can be sure that he isn't forcing his attentions on a woman is to be with a 'dirty' girl. He can be sure that she's genuinely turned on by him, unlike the 'madonna' wife who lets him do it because it's her duty.

I believe it's thought to come about via a dysfunctional attitude to sex (embarrassing, dirty, not-nice) in his FOO, in particular via a prudish mother.

Because it's subconscious, it's a powerful motivator.

TA

Ha! This is what OWs FRIENDS told me...that she talked too much! And FWH confirmed.

<I have forgotten so much stuff...it's been so long since I have learned anything about her, but this is cracking me up!>

I know some of the responses i have read reminds of the thing my mom used to say to me and i say to my girls which is guys "date" girls who do, but they "marry" girls who don't.

I would think that it is not necessarily that the wife is a prude because i would have to say that i am like MF in that i have always tried to make sure it isn't the same old same old in the bedroom KWIM .

So i do wonder what the attraction is for males when it comes to this kind of woman??????

Well B,
I read this and all the comments.. I am not sure exactly how to answer it.

You saw the pics of the PQ so you know what she looks like, and you know about her lifestyle....
She is sleazy, trampy, a train wreak waiting to happen, a damsel in constant distress, mentally ill, and someone who will never have a good life.

Yet Flick 'loved' her, wanted to marry her, told me so in fact. He said he could see a future with her and while she had told him she would never marry again he thought she would change her mind for him.

His family never met her, at first they were on his case about leaving me, but I know from comments later, they would have met her because family is family and they didnt want to lose him

SF was never the issue for us BTW, stillisnt. The only real comment about her and SF was it was the only thing she had going for her, and I'm better.

Dunno if'n it's been commented on, but whatabout if you are BOTH?

Does it mean he was just plain ol'dain-bramaged?

Cos, VD is a prude about stuff I think is fun and Lord knows she can neither cook nor clean.

And talk about dumbing down...OI!

Yes, Lil, PQ definately qualified for sleazy in my book. And it was not so much her looks, but the pictures of her giving people the finger, humping other women, etc. Sorry to Flick, but she was the epitome of sleazy to me - unable to take care of herself, her kids, but very involved with saving possums, and boinking men. YUCK.

Thank goodness he came into his right mind and didn't have any permanent (kids) attachments to her. She would have made his life HELL and you probably would have ended up raising the child.

My definition of sleazy is low class, attention seeking, disease or drug ridden, nasty, etc. But somehow, very nice men fall for these women all of the time.

Whyever would anyone WANT to save a possum?

They call 'em speed bumps here.

They are a noxious pest here. You are not allowed to keep them AT ALL.

I agree...they are overgrown rats. Even their babies are ugly.

(and that's from the gal that loves all babies)

Well, being from the land of fruits and nuts, I love possums. But caring for possums when you aren't caring for your own children is way out there.

Do you think it's because animals are more self sufficient than human babies? I just can't understand taking care of animals, but letting your own children go. It's completely alien to me.

Well, Verve, I am an animal lover, so caring for an animal makes perfect sense to me. However, caring for an animal when you can't take care of yourself or your children is very sick behavior.

The 1st OW in my story was like this, except she came from the high society crowd (through marriage). She still acted like a slut, drank like a fish and was a horrible mother. Even when she was with my DH, he said that at parties or while they were out, she flirted with EVERYONE... dancing with other men AND other women.

You can take the woman out of slutsville but you can't take the slut out of the woman.

Awwww....I think the babies are just aDORable!!!

It's the adults that are scary and ugly and like the R.O.U.S.'s on the Princess Bride, which indeed.....they are!!!

Charlotte

That's what I meant, but I suppose it came out wrong. I can understand having a whole zoo of animals if you want to (and can) take care of them, but your children should come first.

:twobyfour:

You have to keep in mind that the American Opossum and the NZ Possum are two different species of animal.

I have never seen a possum, we don't seem to have any in Calgary, although we do have a subdivision called Slutsville.

American Opossum

NZ Possum