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Joined: Apr 2007
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Okay, I want to know if anyone here has dealt with, or dated someone with commitment phobia? Please let me know your experiences. I do not think I have a problem with commitment, but seem to attract men who do.....



Me 36, EX-H 35
Sons, 13, 9
H wants divorce 8/20/07
I was served 9/6/07
D-Final 2/14/08


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I've basically dated 5 women since EXWW left. Now this is obviously exagerating, but 2 basically wanted a ring after the second date. 1 thought she wanted a boyfriend, but rekindled some high school relationships with some single girls and decide she'd rather be a party girl for now. 1 was too recent a widow, thought she was ready, and fell apart after a month. The last girl I dated was a senior in nursing school and raising a daughter alone. 2 months into the relationship, after a month in a half of not doing anything together other than meeting for lunch a few times, using MB principles I tried to let her know I was struggling and could use some reassurance about the relationship. I didn't DJ or make demands or anything, just tried to let her know how I was feeling and wanted to talk about it. She kicked me to the curb and told me she missed her ex boyfriend and she had daddy issues.

smirk :RollieEyes: crazy confused sigh

Dating's just hard. I've truly met some wonderful people. It's finding someone that's remotely in the same place as you that's the catch.

I actually have a new dating problem. I think I'll go start a thread, LOL!



BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5
OM1 9/06 - 03/07
OM2 04/07 - present
Divorced May 8, 2008
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Originally Posted by Momma2Boys3
Okay, I want to know if anyone here has dealt with, or dated someone with commitment phobia? Please let me know your experiences. I do not think I have a problem with commitment, but seem to attract men who do.....

Are you sure it's really FEAR of commitment? Maybe it's just plain old DISLIKE of commitment.

You can't make anyone want more of a relationship than they want. If you want more of a relationship with this person than he is comfortable giving, you should probably move along.

I doubt you attract men with commitment problems. I think it's more likely you fail to move on early enough when it becomes clear that you and the other fellow are not on the same page.

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Originally Posted by curious53
You can't make anyone want more of a relationship than they want. If you want more of a relationship with this person than he is comfortable giving, you should probably move along.

This is a very correct statement, in my humble opinion. One thing that makes it kind of messy is that 2 people always are on different levels in the relationship until the commitment for life is made. So, for me, I guess when the hope is gone that your partner will not want to move to the next level is when I would move along.

It tests your patience, I am sure. Good luck and remember not everyone is cut out to give you commitment.


grindnfool
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D-Day 10/26/06
Divorced 11.2007
DS-16, DD-9
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It's also possible that a man simply don't want to make a committment to you. How many men (and women) have said "I don't believe in marriage. I don't want to get married," only to get married when the right person comes along?

After my first marriage I was very wary committment. While I dated Mike exclusively, we went very, very slowly. I was happy that he was also wary of committment because that clued me in that making a committment was a big, hairy deal to him. Neither Mike nor I was willing to make a committment to anyone who was less than perfect for us.

If/when I decide to date, I will be wary of making a committment. I will weigh each step in the relationship carefully.


Divorced.
2 Girls
Remarried 10/11/08
Widowed 11/5/08
Remarrying 12/17/15

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