I CAN tell the difference. I think a lot of people out there are just looking for it. So, yeah, I guess I'll just stay home.

Heck, I didn't even want to refresh my make-up the other day when I was sitting on the bench with Gray waiting to testify. I didn't want him to think I was preening for HIM!! UGH!!

Yeah, I'm still married. And I'll most likely continue to wear my rings after the divorce to avoid any problems.

Charlotte

Okay, if we ever meet and I'm not smiling, you'll know why.

Thank you! I appreciate that. No hard feelings I hope.

And vice-versa. You'll know that just because I am unsmiling that I am not unfriendly.

Just don't be flapping those eyelashes around married men, Charlotte!!

I think this pretty much sums it up. And for the record, the interpretation always seem to come from a WS who thinks they are immune to having an A or even a ONS. Such people, Dr Harley refers to as "the most vunerable."

My FWW was hit on and continually complimented until it finall turned her head. That open Love Bank being filled by someone she never envsisioned could do so, because she was immune from an A. Couldn't happen, no way, impossible. Sadly, that's what I believed as well.

We BOTH had to find out differently, and not without years of pain and humliation.

I liken flirting to the moth that constantly dances around the allure of a burning candle. One day, the moth gets to close and is consumed by the flame. One dead moth, one wayward spouse.

My FWW was basically dumped by her "burning candle" as he moved on to other, and more younger conquests. In the end, he simply smirked and said, It's all a big game. Don't you understand?

The idea that you are somehow not the same, is a very slipery slope that could eventually be your undoing.

So thanks, Mel. This is rather very important. Even it it changes one person's mind.

All blessings,
Jerry

I have always thought this as well...interesting that I am not the only one!

gl,

Sorry, flirting is NOT okay in a marriage.

Flirting is ALWAYS sexual.

This is why people get in trouble.

My opinion. I have never been a flirt. I don't need other people to tell me I am good looking. My H does plenty of that!

And be very very wary of people that tell you or H how 'lucky' you are to have your spouse. That means they would be willing to cross those marital boundaries.

Peace out,

Love in Christ,
Miss M

I've never accidentally flirted. I've only ever foolishly, stupidly and I guess skankishly flirted.

I look forward to trying again!!

Julie,

You are being silly.

Nothing wrong with a little flirting when you are SINGLE, with SINGLE men.

You are a good and moral woman, we all know that!

Love in Christ,
Miss M

Flapping? Nah, I think flapping is okay. It's fluttering that will get you into trouble!!!

Quit flapping those eyelashes on my thread!!! ondelay! ondelay!!!

Cain't hep it!! I got sumpin' in myeye!!

You are a lyin ho!! Quit flapping those eyelashes!

Just wanted to submit another opinion to Aphelion's quote of women hitting on married men being worse than men hitting on a married woman.

First of all, I don't think there is one or the other that is more wrong or right (no thanks to Restless Heart for that absolutely worthless song about cheating...) than the other.

However I know of no other case where a FAITHFUL partner in a marriage is so completely deceived as to parentage as that of the child conceived by his unfaithful wife. He may also be required to RAISE a child that they did not cooperate in conceiving in the family home to preserve the marriage. In many states the child is even recognized to be the child of the husband regardless of whether he actually is the father of any child born during the marriage.
Not only that but many times he is required to pay child support if the marriage fails and he does not find out about the infidelity within a certain time period to challenge paternity.

A married man fathering an OC with an OW will also have to pay child support and DOES cause just as much damage to the marriage, however, the wife in most cases, does not have to raise the child NOT KNOWING IT IS SOMEONE ELSES CHILD!!!

A faithful wife ALWAYS knows if her child is hers. A man has to hope or submit to DNA testing. There is ALWAYS damage done in infidelity, but at least a faithful wife knows when her child is hers...

THE TRUTH IS ANYONE HITTING ON A MARRIED MAN OR WOMAN IS A POS!!!

Jim

I totally agree with this, it couldn't be anymore plainly said.

I am never flattered when someone flirts with/hits on me even though I am wearing a wedding ring. I think it's disgusting and am repulsed by the fact that some guy thinks he is so great that I would actually consider doing ANYTHING with him even though I am CLEARLY married. "Egotistical b*stard" immediately comes to mind when this happens.

And then I want to get

Ok ok. So I'm learning this game. And this post will clearly be of benefit to me. I used to be a flirt, would go out with girlfriends and this would be the object. Evil I know, awful. And I knew it and I enjoyed it.

Now having got to that age with the kids and an empty love bank with very poor boundaries I found myself in an A.

Something that I had said I would never do and couldn't understand how it happened.

I avoid any situation where I will be in conversation with men without my H or the mans wife. I well and truly see the dangers of even a mispalced smile.

But I still don't quite see how it is an insult. Please will someone explain very loudly and clearly

Really?