My guess as to what it means is:

He and OW text each other a ton and play stupid little games with words back and forth. If you read them you'd think they were teenagers (trust me...in 2005 I read my wife's and they were so dorky). They also think they both are really really cool. THEY are the popular kids and YOU are not in the click.

Thus...he was feeling goofy and he then texted you something goofy off the cuff. I don't think it was meant for her...but he remained goofy at the moment having either just talked to her or text messaged with her.

The irony is you didn't respond which I speculate just feeds a WH's rationalizations and justifications and/or is further used by WH in discussions with OW to build up the affair (as affairs are fantasies where they constantly have to build each other up). Thus...he likely text OW and had a good laugh about what he text messaged you and how you didn't get it. OW just get's him and you don't. How special she is because she's goofy with him....blah, blah, blah.

It really is that pathetic. MM have to constantly reassure OW as YOU are the biggest threat to her relationship with him. MM very often end up back with their BW's, thus, OW MUST HAVE constant reassurance and your husband has to find creative ways to give her this reassurance so she'll give him good reassurance back.

Mr. Wondering

p.s. - OW MAY have even been sitting with him as he did text that message...both of them giggling away.

oops...forgot to mention.

I'm an attorney and I recommend exposure.

Yesterday, you said it was a family attorney friend and NOT your divorce attorney that tried to dissuade you from exposing.

What did your attorney say???

Women are EXPECTED to be vindictive when their husbands have an affair on them and file for divorce. Just get it done...all at once and THEN apologize (not for doing it but for the way he feels about you doing it in a half apology way) and as long as you don't remain constantly vindictive and angry (especially with regards to the children) ...you're OK. You see...they have to establish a consistent pattern of behavior....so get it done quick in as non-vindictive appearing manner as possible and move on.

Also...IF you ever were to get into a custody battle there is nothing better than documented abuse charges to influence a judges opinion of your husband and impressions are nearly everything in the family court system. Abusive men DON'T win.

Mr. Wondering

I showed the text to a couple coworkers, who both IMMEDIATELY said "that text message wasn't meant for you." They both felt it was sent to the wrong person, as do I. He was still at work when he sent it, so I know she wasn't there with him.

Sidebar, last night WS was on call for EMS. Of course he was on with HER!!! He is our Maintenance and Equipment officer and he "routinely" has to go down to check supplies, his log book, make sure things are stocked, etc... But IRONICALLY it's always when he's on with her. They are both only signed up for one shift in the next 2 months and it was last night, together. She came on shift at 4pm and he came on at 6pm. So after I got off work, at 4:30, I drove past the station and sure enough, she was there.

After I got home, we decided to order pizza for supper. WS mentioned he would need to go down to the station at some point and "do the routine." I tried to outsmart him and said, ok, after supper we can all go down with you! He didn't seem to like that idea, but didn't fight it. So I went and ordered the pizza, which was set to be delivered around 45 minutes later. It was then that he informed me that he was running to the station to look for his EMS parka, fully knowing I couldn't leave, as the pizza would be coming. The sneaky [censored]! About 5 minutes later, I called him to see if he would pick up soda on his way home. He said sure and that he had just gotten to the station. The pizza arrive about 20 minutes later, early. I called him and he answered, and was very short with me. I made sure to mention I noticed. I told him the pizza was here and asked if he had found his coat. He said he JUST had, hanging on a chair. He would be home in a bit. Well, I was getting honked off. So I quickly packed up the kids and we took a little drive. Sure enough, both WS and OWs vehicles were parked outside the station. Duh! What kind of idiot does he think I am? He finally came home about 20 minutes later. He was gone darn near an hour. When I asked him if he had said hi to OW for me, he lied and said she wasn't even there!!! I let it go. Just keep digging, honey, it's what you are good at!

As for talking to my attorney, I haven't done it yet. I will tell him my plans, but whether he wants me to expose or not doesn't matter. I know it's my best tool and I can't legally get into trouble, so I'm doing it. I'm fighting for my husband, my marriage and my family. It's worth it to me, even if it isn't to him right now.

As for the rest of the night, WS got to go on a love transport with the Blonde Bimbo to a hospital an hour away. Lots of time together! They had a total of 3 calls together and I don't think they got a whole lot of sleep. Thankfully, he has to come home to sleep, since we live so close to the station. At least that feather is in my cap.

Why didn't you drop in at the station? I would have. I would have rubbed all the kids in OW's face, with the whole station watching. What? You're just visiting your H. And reminding all his coworkers that he has a wife and family. In fact, I would start making a habit of bringing the kids by to visit every time he's working.

You need to do a full blown EXPOSURE--NOW. Stop waiting. This is the only way for you to break up this A. Like others here have said, A's thrive in the dark--you need to shine some light on this crack house. Your H and his AP are like crack heads, and they are getting their "fix" flaunting it right in front of your face.

Expose--include their employer too. Read this thread that I am attaching. You need to do it now though. It is your only chance...

http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2209931#Post2209931

Dawn, the only reason I'm waiting is for me to have the day off work and the kids to be off school. So we can both be in a protected location when it happens. So he can't go and snag them from school. I don't know how he's going to react, so I'm doing my best to protect the kids and I. It will happen this week. I have the day planned.

He's already embarrassed I have told a few people. We are supposed to go to the Fire Dept. annual party tonight and he won't go now. He says he's too embarrassed to be out in public with me, knowing people have heard. I think he's more embarrassed at people seeing him and thinking bad things.

That is very understandable (about him snatching the kids...). You are doing well and have this thought out it seems.

But, if his OW is associated with him at work you do need to do exposure at the workplace too i.e. with HR, etc. They probably have some kind of policy against that.

He is embarrassed to be seen with you? Don't believe that crap. He should be embarrassed to be seen with OW and embarrassed of HIS behavior. You have done nothing wrong.

And, mom...did you read Dr. Scotts thread? He is the exposure KING IMO... just to give you some insignt...

I have been working on reading it for a couple hours now. It's a lot to process. I hope I can do as well as Dr. Scott. Should I send a separate email to the EMS Chief and the Fire Chief, or should I send them the same one I'm going to send out to the EMS and Fire memberships? What do you think?

I have seen you working with Dr. Harley on the weekend forum, what besides an immediate plan B has he suggested?

Regarding exposure?

mom, I would send the same information to all you plan to send to--just to keep consistency in your info. Just do one email and send to all you want to send to. At least, that is what I would do.

Amazing how they want to keep it their little secret. They know how wrong they are. Your WH is afraid of others finding out, so I would go nuclear with it. Oh, he'll be pi$$ed all right, but it's your best weapon right now.

Chai

I know...it IS amazing isn't it? But what amazes me even more that that WH says he is embarrassed by moms actions... Not bothered at all by his own actions... Incredible, isn't it?

We haven't gotten too far into exposure. With WH's (very limited) history of physical violence when we fight about OW (last time was 2 days after Christmas, when I found WHs Christmas gift to OW), Dr. Harley is worried WH may get violent when I do my all out exposure. I will be talking to one of the ladies at MB on Monday afternoon, about this specific topic. That's why I am taking Extraordinary Precautions to secure our safety when I DO expose.

You would think that since they found their "soulmate" they would want to advertise it to the world. My WH did the same thing. Lie, sneak etc. It was definitely more fun that way. When he found out that I exposed to some of his family members he said "What are you going to do, tell so-and-so too!!!!?"

Mom, by all means, do it however Dr. Harley tells you to do it. We certainly don't want you to get injured in the process.

I'm definitely not worried about WH hurting me. I have several older brothers that will rally around me. But I am worried about him snatching the kids from school or something like that. So that's why I'm taking the precautions I have planned. I don't want anything to happen. I want it to be controlled and under my terms. He loves to be in control, which, ironically, he says is never the case and I'M the one who is always trying to be in control. So this is going to knock his socks off!!! Is it bad that I'm almost a little excited?

So I'm really nervous about talking to OW's family. Parents, fathers of her 2 boys. Do I NEED to talk to them on the phone, or is a letter enough? I'm am an extremely non-confrontational person, so this is very hard for me to do. Tell me what you think.

Which do you think would be more effective? I guess you do not have the luxury of avoiding conflict anymore so I wouldn't let fear drive your strategy. You arent going to make it if you stick to conflict avoidance tactics. Your fears have to be put aside.

Rather, the driving force should be EFFECTIVENESS. Which would be more effective? Personally, I think a phone call would be more effective because that gives the OW parents a chance to ask questions. You can ask them: "can you please use your influence to get your daughter to end her affair with my husband?"

You might be able to get some real good information from them if you call.

I'm thinking so, too. I just fear they will hang up on me. I don't worry so much about the fathers, but more her parents. Altho, I think she has enough of a history that they know the kind of person she is. Still, I know how family sticks up for family (I'm seeing the same thing with WH). All the proof in the world might not be enough to sway someone's judgement. Still, it puts the knowledge in their heads.

I'm also going to email everyone who's email I can get at OWs work. HR, and everyone else I find on the website. WH is the contact with our EMS for the work it has done on our ambulances at OWs job. And OW is our source for when we need the work done. Could that have some consequence on her job, since it does have to do with a client?