Yes and yes

DO NOT SHARE ANYTHING ANYTIME WITH MY STBX!!!!

My mom is gonna email this to me everyday!!

Monday....started good....kids are a little "wierded out" by grandpa being there in the morning. Soccer practice Monday night was freezing so I cut it short.

Tuesday....kids were "sick"....my original plan on my weeks was for the kids to go to my cousins if they were sick. WW whined about it and the girls stayed home alone. While we were talking about where the kids where gonna go she was pissed because my dad was gonna do it! She insisted I come home from work and do it.....

We were chatting about $ after we got the kid thing square. I was telling her how much the refi on the house was gonna save me.....note to self....follow moms advice!! She is not happy Carp will be sitting pretty after the big D! She tried to start in on the whole CS thing....not a peep outta me.

Wednesday....perfect day. Got home from work, made dinner, did homework, regular stuff. D9 and I had an agreement that if she kept up with the cats for a month....we would "look" at puppies on April 1st. We hit a couple pet stores, we looked at puppies, cats, fish, hampsters......no birds. We did not go home with a pet!

Found out this morning that "pre-trial" is April 9th......trying to get prepped for that.


Do not share anything anytime with STBX....repeat.....repeat!

I bumped a thread for you ...

The Art of War by Sun Tzu

LOL....thx!

Sometimes I forget.....the little "V" between our names on that special piece of paper.

"lil Carps" went with their mom yesterday about 1pm.

I spent a few hours listening to loud, non kid appropriate music, and organizing some stuff at "la casa del Carp"!

I organized my walk-in closet.....work clothes on 1 side....nice clothes on the other. WW still has some of her stuff on a part of 1 side. I used too look at her stuff "longingly".....now it's just in my way!

I am almost 100% done with laundry....even the socks!

I put liners in mostof my kitchen cabinets/drawers....the damp plates and glasses have been leaving water marks....a project I have been planning awhile. D12 wanted to know why I was doing it (she was bored after only being gone an hour or so). I told her "I with teach you why one day my young padawan"...she thought my star wars reference was corny!

Had dinner out with my old apprentice and some ladies! I think younger girls are intimidated by me!

I'm a dad
I have my own home
I have more "stuff" probably then their parents!

I was on FB last night chatting with a husband of a friend of WW....they both had no clue as to the real reason for the D...imagine that! We are still gonna maintain our friendship in spite of WW.

This morning I hatched an "evil" plan.....

It snowed here yesterday. I shoveled the drive from the garage to the back door. My car was in the street. I brushed off most of my car in the street.....pulled it in the driveway....and brushed off the rest.

I left my bed a mess....the whole thing....

WW drops D12 off at "home" (I always call my house home) about 20mins before D12 catches the bus.

No soccer practice tonite....too cold, too snowy, to windy for D9 and the team.

The girls will come home after school, eat, do homework, their momshould be there around 7 to get them for "her week".


Sounds boring (I'm sure Mel would like more action)!!

Something I forgot.....

Pre-trial is this Thursday.

My lawyer e-mailed me some "notes" for it yesterday.

Wow carp it's good to read your so proactive around the house. Can I hire you to come do mine next...I have a few projects that need doin that I can't do because of the side effects from my antibiotics.

lol, I was laying out by the (outdoor) pool at our gym yesterday.

Don't think I have always been this way! Yes I am a "project guy".....did they get done to WWs standards? No.....it was hard to do because of the "harping". Now that I don't have that.....I enjoy it more!


I have a list of stuff.....
Change furniture around
Re-tile master bath
Re paint
Organize MY garage (I love this part!)


I guess I can fit yours in....gimmie a call in 2010! LOL

My mom and sister got sunburned yesterday.....I told her to go to $/@&$!

Sat at the courthouse for a couple hrs. Lawyers did their "pre-trial thing. Me and WW did not even participate.

Lawyers came out about 45mins later.

Here's the deal.....
All assets and debts 50/50....no brainer!

I am gonna have to pay WW something. $450 per month...our income disparity and the law....can't argue!

Our next date is about 6 weeks away.

My attorney tried to put a date on WWs moving back into school district. The judge wanted to use the term "intends on". Some chat with family came up with this....for the good of the girls we should set a date. At home D12 wakes up at 7am and is out the door at 8 to catch the bus. At WWs house (rite now) they have to be out the door by 7:20ish. Maybe a letter stating these kinda facts will help "sway" the judge?

I had a cleaning crew come in yesterday. Damn they can clean!! Place looks/smells great! WWs mom and grandma came yesterday to pick up the girls. We were sitting down for dinner when they showed up. I invited them to stay...and they did. We spent about 25mins eating and chatting. When they were leaving WWs grandma grabbed my hand....and gave it a "I love you grandson" kinda squeeze.


All in all I think life is gonna be good!

I am gonna save $500+ per month on bills, I get to see my girls ALOT, personally I feel GREAT, and that cheating, good for nothin......I'll stop.....is that much closer to gone!!

Sure I gotta pay her some $....it's for my kids...who do you think spent the evening texting his kids last night? Easy answer huh! They were with their mom....but were "chatting" with me!

That's about it...questions?? Comments?

Just that I'm really proud of you. Long way away from when you first came here. Your kids are lucky to have you.

Thx Cat! This whole mess started in June 08. I was a TOTAL basket case for along time. A couple FRs, anger, suicidal thoughts, depression, blaming myself.

I started at DB forums and reading the book in about aug 08. Fix yourself, wait out the A was their motto. I fixed....and fixed....and fixed....but I got tired of waiting! One of the members brought up exposure....but I was scared to death.

Fast forward to today.....NOTHING scares me!!

I saw WW twice today. Once at D12s ortho appt, I looked good, big smile, chatty, funny. She just left with the girls...I offered her some leftovers....made some Kool Aid....told her I poisoned it!! She said "i would be driving the kids...wouldnt that be bad?" i told her it was fast acting and she would drop before the driveway!! Itold her I really want the van!! LOL! Her presence does not phase me one bit....maybe I will text her and see if she is sleepy??

Carp,

I agree with CP, you have come sooo far since I first began reading your thread. I'm very glad that you get so much time with your children. They appreciate it now, but they will appreciate the time you took with them and appreciate YOU more and more as they grow. Best wishes!!!

I can't believe how long since I last posted!!

This week is my "off week". I see the girls after work and before there mom gets them.

Had a couple issues last week with the girls....

They had some idea that the other one was my "favorite"....kinda got me worked up abit. We talked it out....after I sent them to their rooms for a bit so I could cool off.

D12 expressed some things about OM...he's a dork, fat, not good looking. She asked me "why would he want to be with a cheater?"....tough questions from a 12yr old!

I introduced my kids to some new people. I reconnected with an old friend on FB. He and his wife are on their second marriages....6 kids between them!! I was leary at first....about my kids meeting "new" people. D9 was the most against it but seems to have warmed up.

Socially....I am doing well! No "significant other"....but I am not dead!

Doing some changes around the house....decorating, moving furniture....stuff like that.

Moneys ok but tight when my refi and the big D are done I will be MUCH better off.

WW and I had a chat yesterday. She wants to know why we can't "be friends"...I told her she didn't really want to go there...but we did a bit. I was ok at the end of the talk. I used to be totally drained....not anymore!

One thing she did say.....she was commenting on my changes over the last 8 months....she said I must have been "holding back" during our marriage! I talked to my mom about it. Moms thoughts....I was being HELD back!

Not much else really. Couple jabs here and there from WW...water off a ducks back mostly for me.

Actions speak loudest.....I must be screaming!!!

Hey, I was just wondering how you were doing. Glad to read that all is going well.

Howdy, carp, I am so very proud of you for getting away from that horrific scene! Good job!

And you know why she wants you to be a "friend," right? She needs to keep you around to meet her needs because the OM can't possibly meet all her needs. I bet if you went into Plan B, she would go stark raving nuts to try and get back in touch with you. The reason being that the OM can't fill the shoes you left.

Have you considered going into plan B to get away from her altogether? You would be amazed at how much better you will feel when you have NO contact.

Thx Verve!!

Mel...
I am in a non plan B plan B. I never wrote the letter...I do not persue her in anyway. I have actually been asking her when she is gonna get the rest of her stuff!!

She called me yesterday....when we did talk I was very calm and non emotional. Every "thing" she brought up....exposure....failures in our marriage..stuff like that I answered very analitically.

I barely e-mail her at all!

When I do talk to her or see her I am very polite. She complimented me about stuff around the house....when I didn't have the "correct" response in her eyes...she had to start throwing out some crap.

A true plan B would be nearly impossible. Kids are split time wise between us.

Its alot easier than you think. We have folks with 2 and 3 yr olds who do very dark Plan B's. People with kids do it every day. I promise you she would not like losing control of you if you did. Staying in touch with her like this gives her a little FIX and keeps you roped into her crap.