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sushi #2245502 04/14/09 08:38 AM
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Well folks, looks like I got kicked in the pants for a well overdue update. (Thanks Queenie.. you know I'm sending love your way)..

Things for the most part have settled down into a nice rhythm, proving once again that there -is- life after infidelity and divorce, though I'm sure the testimony of many of the Amigos here will reflect and support that just as well, if not better than mine ever could.

It's not without it's ups and downs.. pitfalls and traps.. but at least the perils are known, and I've developed a pretty keen eye for looking out for them and stepping around over or through without really ever putting myself in any real danger.

My job, so far has proven rather recession resistant, though I'm not entirely sure for how much longer. They are cutting the workforce on the floor in the factory I work in, so ultimately that will lead to salaried cuts as well down the road. I'm in pretty good shape to do some freelance work if it does, so no real worries there. Just the same I'd rather the peace of mind of having a stable 40 hour a week job with benefits.

Dealings with the ex for the most part haven't been all that bad. Actually, DSD was allowed to invite me even to one of her school programs, which of course I attended with DS. Just as I was hoping however that things might settle into a nice rhythm I had to go and upset the apple cart by refusing to pay for daycare over spring break last week when DS was with me. She's threatened to initiate a Show Cause hearing over it ultimately and ask for reimbursement. I'm not triggered at all really about it, which is nice and a big change from before, though I'm sure I could have posted the email exchange and we all could have had some real fun with it. I've basically tried to point out why her maneuverings will fail, citing the wording in the decree, in addition to the applicable state guidelines and rules, and informed her that if she wants to prove to the court that she cannot abide -any- agreement made for any length of time, as well as initiate a certain negative outcome for herself that she can be responsible for my attorney fees resulting from her frivolous and erronious claim. I'm sure that makes me the bad guy again, but oh well.. I stated many times in the email exchange that I'm not looking for a fight, just for us to do what we agreed to do and get on with parenting our son.. somehow though I'm the childish money grubbing [censored] because I want to follow the letter and intent of our agreement still, and not give her an abatement on the daycare fee which I'm already paying my portion of each week in support. It's ok.. if she needs me to be the bad guy, I'm good for that.. I'm done trying to stop her from looking like a fool.. I've been told to expect to be served, I'm guessing she's bluffing, but if not I'm ready for it.

I've also been looking into filing bankruptcy under the current liquidation laws, and just get a fresh financial start. There's really no downside at this point as the ex's shenanigans with the card she was irresponsible for last year has made any credit maneuverings impossible at this stage, and the card companies are trying to put me over a barrel on the interest rates on the debt I took over in exchange for time with DS in our agreement. Plus I don't qualify for any of the new government mortgage programs because I pay my mortgage on time, and the amount I'm upside down with the property is too high of a percentage to qualify for the principle reduction. It's also the only way to allow me to force the ex into either surrendering her van, or removing me from liability should she fail to pay. That part's really up to her, but I'm sure I'll be the villian again.. it's a role I'm strangely comfortable with so long as the law remains on my side.

So, after a couple of false starts and aborted landings.. there's officially a woman in Jamesus' life these days. She's someone I met through a friend a few months ago, and hung out with. We've been spending as much time as we can together, and just this last week made the decision that it was time for the children to meet (her 2 and mine). It went pretty well, and I think it'll be a good thing for all concerned. We aren't moving too fast, and we've both got our eyes open. There's O&H discussion on our expectations and so far no suprises. I can see a future with this woman, but I'm not going to get ahead of myself at all. There's plenty of time if it is meant to be.

The band is doing pretty well also, and we're still in the process of writing/recording our 2nd full length CD, and our first effort since officially re-forming in June of last year. We've added a new guitfiddle player to the mix and all seems to be working very well, and going in a direction I'm actually very happy with.

DD has been busy the past few months. She is doing amazingly well with her swimming, having qualified for the invitational tournament in her 400 meter freestyle (the endurance race for middle-schoolers) and finished 6th in the region, which was a pretty nice points haul for her team in an event we are normally very weak in. Makes me kind of proud as I was a 500 meter guy in HS, and that looks like the event she's destined for as well.. she's a natural. Also, softball season has started, and actually tonight is her second game of the season, so hopefully the weather will hold and it won't be too terribly cold outside for me and DS to sit and watch tonight's doubleheader.

Other than that, things are pretty much trucking along at a comfortable pace.. and of course, Jim is cool cool





Me - 32
DS - 5
DD - 13
DSD - 9
D final 12-8-08
Jamesus #2245531 04/14/09 09:36 AM
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Hey [censored], send me your email address, **edit**

Last edited by MBLBanker; 02/19/12 03:34 AM. Reason: Removing email

BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5
OM1 9/06 - 03/07
OM2 04/07 - present
Divorced May 8, 2008
Jamesus #2245540 04/14/09 09:53 AM
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clap

It's great to hear from you, Cool Jim!

You've done an amazing job keeping it all together. I'm glad to hear that you are no getting so many good things in your life.

Your a smart guy - I'm sure you'll find a way to work the finances out. Ya do what ya gotta do.

Take care!

Fox

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Email Sent bon ami!


Me - 32
DS - 5
DD - 13
DSD - 9
D final 12-8-08
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Originally Posted by wildhorses74
clap

It's great to hear from you, Cool Jim!

You've done an amazing job keeping it all together. I'm glad to hear that you are no getting so many good things in your life.

Your a smart guy - I'm sure you'll find a way to work the finances out. Ya do what ya gotta do.

Take care!

Fox

Thanks for droppin in Foxy.

It's kind of weird actually.. I've had a number of my friends around here just shaking their heads and asking how I can be so happy and content even with her throwing her fits, and dealing with the finances stuff.. lots of people saying they'd be at their wits end over it all, yet I'm just kind of weathering it like a rock.

I dunno.. just seems to me like after what I've already survived, this stuff is pretty trivial.. superficial stuff that really doesn't warrant getting all worked up over anymore.

As for the ex.. she's just not that important to me anymore. I've closed that door.. locked it.. pitched the key. It doesn't bother me.. she's a burden I've laid down. She can scream all she wants to now and make whatever assumptions she wants to make.. it's wonderboy's problem to deal with now, not mine. All I care about that she can affect is DS, and so far he's doing just fine... and I have enough time with him now to show him what life should be like.. so Jim is cool on that..

As for the finances? Sure.. it's stressful, and it doesn't 'feel' right.. but in reality the financial institutions and the economic climate right now is such that it really wasn't a choice I made so much as a reality I have no choice but to deal with. It makes sense, and is.. in a strange way.. the responsible thing to do for me and my kids.. so.. as long as I know in my heart that I'm doing the best I can for me and my kids.. why should I sweat it? My case is pretty straightforward.. and in 3-6 months that storm will be over.. it's certainly not a year and a half of dealing with an angry wayward.. should be a walk in the park.

Jim's cool y'all..


Me - 32
DS - 5
DD - 13
DSD - 9
D final 12-8-08
Jamesus #2245655 04/14/09 12:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Jamesus
The band is doing pretty well also, and we're still in the process of writing/recording our 2nd full length CD, and our first effort since officially re-forming in June of last year. We've added a new guitfiddle player to the mix and all seems to be working very well, and going in a direction I'm actually very happy with.

What's a guitfiddle?
Do you have a You Tube of your band?

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You like metal Pep?


BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5
OM1 9/06 - 03/07
OM2 04/07 - present
Divorced May 8, 2008
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Originally Posted by BetrayedCajun
You like metal Pep?

Precious metals - like gold. lashes

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Originally Posted by Pepperband
Originally Posted by Jamesus
The band is doing pretty well also, and we're still in the process of writing/recording our 2nd full length CD, and our first effort since officially re-forming in June of last year. We've added a new guitfiddle player to the mix and all seems to be working very well, and going in a direction I'm actually very happy with.

What's a guitfiddle?
Do you have a You Tube of your band?

Hehe, hey there Pep. Guitfiddle is just a fancy shmancy way of saying guitar around these parts.

There might be a few YouTube clips you could pull up, but I'm not real sure. All of the vids we have made publicly available ourselves though are on Myspace: **edit**

Fair warning though.. it's a touch heavier than even most 'mainstream' metal, and certainly not everyone's slice of pie. Also.. our lyricist is rather open about opinions that might cause the more theologically devout to be a bit squemish. I enjoy what we do.. it's meant to challenge folks to think rather than to be taken at face value.


Last edited by MBLBanker; 02/19/12 03:36 AM. Reason: Removing link

Me - 32
DS - 5
DD - 13
DSD - 9
D final 12-8-08
Jamesus #2245712 04/14/09 02:22 PM
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Hey James,

Glad to hear you are doing so well. My atty recommended bankruptcy for me too. I'm down to just about nothing except my 401K, which he says is safe, and my condo is safe too. That means collectors would go after WH grin Long story, but he's giving me a tough time right now.

So, which one are you in the picture (where it shows the three of you)? I'm guessing the one on the left?


BS - me 56
XWH - 57

12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.

6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.

9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me

Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
ChaiLover #2245723 04/14/09 02:30 PM
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Originally Posted by ChaiLover
Hey James,

Glad to hear you are doing so well. My atty recommended bankruptcy for me too. I'm down to just about nothing except my 401K, which he says is safe, and my condo is safe too. That means collectors would go after WH grin Long story, but he's giving me a tough time right now.

So, which one are you in the picture (where it shows the three of you)? I'm guessing the one on the left?

Well my suggestion on the bankruptcy thing is to study closely what your state allows you to exempt in excess of the federal exemptions. Most people who file lose nothing.. you're really only at risk if you've got the summer home on the lake and the boat etc...

I'm the bald one wink



Me - 32
DS - 5
DD - 13
DSD - 9
D final 12-8-08
Jamesus #2245743 04/14/09 02:55 PM
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Hi James,

I am definetly in good hands, however, I miss you a lot. Thanks for the update. You and I walked the similar path for so long and even though it's different our FAITH and TRUST is what's it's always been about and continues to be.

Hugs to you dude.

Football schedule comes out at 4:00 pst. I wonder if we play you guys this year. smile


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Jamesus #2245782 04/14/09 03:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Jamesus
Hehe, hey there Pep. Guitfiddle is just a fancy shmancy way of saying guitar around these parts.
:crosseyedcrazy:


I bet you have a blast.


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Keep on believing Queenie.. life doesn't always turn out the way we'd like it to. But that just means that sometimes it can turn out better than we expected.

You really are doing well, just keep your head up and your chest out and you'll shine just like you always do. You've truly inspired a lot of people here.. even those of us who came before. As always sending love and prayers your way.


Pep.. we have an absolute riot. That's why I still do this kinda thing despite breaking into my 30's wink


Me - 32
DS - 5
DD - 13
DSD - 9
D final 12-8-08
Jamesus #2246094 04/15/09 10:08 AM
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Originally Posted by Jamesus
Pep.. we have an absolute riot. That's why I still do this kinda thing despite breaking into my 30's wink

Yeah, but I'm THE riot stickout



BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5
OM1 9/06 - 03/07
OM2 04/07 - present
Divorced May 8, 2008
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Well.. Lennon was the Walrus.. I suppose you can be the riot.

But if that's the case.. a bunch of ugly sweaty guys from Indiana have you.

Which could be a whole 'nother TOS violation I don't wanna get into with you Beauseph...



Me - 32
DS - 5
DD - 13
DSD - 9
D final 12-8-08
Jamesus #2246129 04/15/09 10:49 AM
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I gotta stick my nose in here.

He can't be the riot. There's already another Cajun who is the riot. He's an ex-Bayou Bengal who plays for the Chicago Cubs.

Ryan Theriot

He's pretty good too. smile

Last edited by AheadOfTheCurve; 04/15/09 10:54 AM.

BH 52
FWW 50
S26 S24
EA 3/07-1/09
PA 5/07-10/08
NC finally established after eight false starts: 1/23/09
Final Version of Events 6/09
In a solid Recovery, and lucky beyond belief.
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BWAAHHAAAHHAAAA!!!!

If you only knew

There's more than 1 "the riot" in South Louisiana wink

plus, I'm older than Ryan, so I was "the riot" before he was rotflmao


BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5
OM1 9/06 - 03/07
OM2 04/07 - present
Divorced May 8, 2008
Joined: Jan 2009
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Yeah, I guess fall Saturday nights in Baton Rouge would qualify too, wouldn't they? Lots Geaux-ing on there.

Last edited by AheadOfTheCurve; 04/15/09 11:01 AM. Reason: addendum

BH 52
FWW 50
S26 S24
EA 3/07-1/09
PA 5/07-10/08
NC finally established after eight false starts: 1/23/09
Final Version of Events 6/09
In a solid Recovery, and lucky beyond belief.
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Haha.. very very punny!

Welcome to the party AOTC smile


Me - 32
DS - 5
DD - 13
DSD - 9
D final 12-8-08
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