LOL. Does that count the blizzard that has GM and me in it's sights? Yikes, this is going to be nasty!

I hope there is no flying debris.

JUST TO BE CLEAR I am not angry. Please Pepperband and Nano, I am not angry but stating my case and hoping for help to see where it is wrong or where you see the weak spots. I know what I see but you all see different things. I am asking for help not getting defensive and angry.

If I do not answer it is not because I am angry but because if we do get hit with the blizzard my internet service will be gone. I HATE that. I just wanted to be certain that no one thought I was being angry and nasty. (can you tell it really bothers me when someone thinks I am being angry or nasty when I am not?)

Sadsosad, keep warm during your blizzard! I remember how extreme Kansas weather is--brrr.

Well, you know, I appreciate you're saying you're not upset and I'm not upset either when I say, hey, if you're happy, go for it.

Three years ago, I had your same outlook on life. Things happened and I came to the realization that my sister is a "person of the lie". I looked at her empty selfish life and the way she never picked up a check even though she makes 6 figures and more importantly, realized I'd never heard her say "I feel sorry for soandso" or "I love you"--to anyone. I quit making excuses for her nasty behaviors. I quit putting my motives behind her incomprehensible acts. I quit beating myself up trying to please her only to have her stab me in the back at the first opportunity.

When I looked at her and accepted she had no empathy or conscience, her behavior was understandable, whereas before she drove me literally crazy trying to figure her out, using the normal motives of cooperation or kindness. That's when I got real and quit trying to make a lap dog out of an oppossum.

I kid you not, that realization shook me to the core and depressed me for the next two years. What did that mean about humans that a "normal" person could be like that?

It means I no longer waste my time with people who are total users. I protect myself and those I love from these wolves in sheeps' clothing. I accept the idea, that much like some people like to live in the Sun Belt, some people prefer to live outside the social contract (although they don't mind preying on those who honor it).

Can they change? Of course they can. But they are not going to do it in the interest of anyone but themselves.

You're either not ready or don't need to hear my warning. That's ok--I accept that, too! Maybe some one else can use it.

Hello all! Sentencing of GM's lovely OW was yesterday. I am not certain I understand it all so I am looking for someone who can interpret it for me. I can post it removing all ID but I am not certain that would be OK. Please let me know if it is OK to post it without ID. If not and you understand all of this and would not mind looking at it for me post and I will get my email addy to you. Thanks.

She is in trouble no matter how you look at it :), poor little skank.

Small justice.

Have you asked GM if he is okay with you posting it here?

Yes I have and he has no problem with it. It is public information after all. Still, I did not want to cross what is acceptable on the MB forums.

Small but somehow satisfying. Mmmmmmmm :twobyfour:

Since GM is no longer supporting her she is going to have a very hard time paying for all of this. That is unless she has found someone elses husband, GM was not the first for her. She has probably sold "our" trailer and "our" car and perhaps a few of my things that found their way into her life. Whatever, they are not going to take care of this. I hate to smile and be happy over someone elses misfortune but she did bring this on herself, with the help of my husband.

SkankoOW is getting the smack down?

Email me - would love to read it:****edit******

Hurray for justice!

JUSTICE would be if SSS's HUSBAND got a prison sentence for

1. Soliciting a prostitute
2. Adultery
3. Abuse of SSS
4. Financial abuse of his family

THIS would be JUSTICE. He "gets off" Scott Free! As he always has before.

You live in their house to know this?

No. but he is not in jail! Sure, he probably has some emotional damages to deal with ---BIG DEAL! He is not punished!

Sent with the subject Sad So Sad.

Thank you!

I hope you are doing well.

Well Bubbles, if you are bored enough and have the time I think you will see why that is not entirely true. I can't say I have not thought the very same thing but things have changed greatly here and punishment of GM is not the name of the game here anymore.

Bubbles, interesting name. Champagne? Soap? Gas? Just joking, really. I like it.

The prostitution part is the only illegal aspect. Other waywards are guilty of #2 and #3 and possibly #4. By that standard, all waywards should be in jail? How can GM retroactively end up in jail for #1?

sss-
how are you?????? i have read some of GM's recent posts on the weekend forum - and have wanted to reach out- you sound like me a year ago.

you are bleeding on the floor- gushing blood from every place- and you cant see an end in sight for the suffering to stop.

DONT GIVE UP!!!

GM's words are dead on - as are my H's. they DO get it- but are having difficulty putting all the words into actions - that will help us heal.

the MB weekend has given us an opportunity to change our lives into the ones we always wanted. we can do it!

sf

Hi sunflower!

I have been thinking of you. I asked for your email when you offered it but the mods did not respond. Since then I have been tucked away trying to put myself in order. So much to think about, so much to learn. I have neglected my thread and pretty much everything else in my life for some time now. I hate it but it is what I have to do sometimes just to slow the thoughts down and make some sense of them.

As Pepperband told me.....recovery is HARD. There are so many things to put into place and to think about. I thought she meant hard only emotionally but no, there is much to weed through and make sense of intellectually. I find it very hard to actually put into words many of the things I think about. This is going to take me a long time.

I have actually hit a high point for now. I know it will even out soon. We talked to Steve yesterday and he told me to keep buckled in my seat, turbulence is ahead but clear air follows. My lows are more easily handled, shorter in duration. My highs last a bit longer. Encouraged for now but still very wary and probably always will be.

GM is really doing the work and he is a totally different man than he was 6 months ago. Again wary but encouraged.

So, how are you doing? I have been a slacker on the lessons. They hurt, they always make me feel terrible about something but they work. They really do work. Are you doing OK with them? I read what you wrote about the affair passion. Boy that one set me back quite a while too. Ah well, onward we must go.

I have a couple of weeks of hard work on a musical then I hope to be back to being more regular around here. It really helps and I miss the conversations.

Plugging along....let me know how you are.

sss-
HI!! i notified the moderators to give you my personal e mail address again. you can ask them or you can ask smb too.
i would really love to keep in contact as i feel we have so much to share and learn from each other.
i am so glad that you have hit a high point! good for you. are you continuing to counsel with steve? has that helped?
i hit highs and lows every day. but just as you- the lows are not so bad- i can talk myself through them, and well... there are really not that many highs when i think about it. i dont let myself trust too much or get too committed yet. its a too vulnerable place right now. i think when i feel safer- i will be more ready. its one baby step at a time.

my h- also is a completely different man- but his occasional slips of not POJAing with me, or his selfishness, or his over-friendliness with people- send me into a tailspin. i am working really hard to not have AOs, or DJs and mostly can control them. if i do slip - i apologize right away- so i feel sure that i am making alot of progress.

YES- werent those comments so hurtful in chapters 1 and 2 of HNHN??? i still dont get why affairs need to be put in a higher light than marriage. the first time i read them, i needed to walk away and cry and not open the books for several days.

we are progressing - and are now in LB chapter 3. what are you working on?

lets keep in touch- good thoughts and prayers coming your way from me
sf

HI again!

I think that those comments were not to put affairs in a higher light but to highlight how they feel at the time in the fantasy. I have no doubt that a person truly in love with their spouse can far exceed affair sex and passion. If anyone wants to tell me any different then I don't want to hear it. I think you can imagine the extra added excitement of someone new, something naughty, the feeling of falling in love once again with someone you have no real commitment to and no real life with. I began to accept that in the light of the totally disgusting feelings GM gets when I bring up all the women, all prostitutes. He feels very dirty and ashamed and he should. I think that the memories are not so great but at the time it was pretty darned compelling. Makes me sick but there it is.

POJA, can you play with it? We sort of started making everything a POJA just to get used to asking for it. "Hey honey, POJA, how would you feel about going in the other room and having a rousing session of sex?" "Well dear, I think that sounds like a grand idea!" (our best POJA ) It is fun and we are getting very comfortable with always asking clearly and pleasantly and not feeling held back individually by it.

I have been a reluctant student and am still finishing Lesson 2 in LB's. Almost done. Not looking forward to the next lesson, yikes!

Good job you two! Sounds like you are doing better at getting it done than we are. GM is patiently waiting for me, he is ready to jump into the next lesson.