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I work from home and my H works longer hours and deals with the commute so I do take on more of the household duties simply because it's impractical in our situation. Doesn't mean I expect him to never, ever help me but I also want it to get done too. If I left it up to him....tick tock tick tock...some time in this lifetime would be nice LOL. We all can get lazy and get overwhelmed. I know H works hard for our family but mean also need to realize there's more to being a provider than just a paycheck and women need to stop yelling at them for not making enough money. Totally understand about the helping you have to do whatever works for your situation. Like i am the one that usually cooks because i get home first and get things started but then he cleans up afterwards. It is all about working together. And me personally i have never said anything to my H about the amount of money he makes. We both make about the same anyway and it is all OURS so what does it matter who is bringing it in as long as it is there to take care of the expenses.
Last edited by Still_Crazy; 04/21/09 11:43 AM.
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I know women do the same too, but we are not discussing that aspect Is this a one sided discussion then?  You know that it's not..the topic is about men, but I'm sure that the women have plenty to interject
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Mr. OUCH Be prepared - wear your asbestos suit Mr Ouch. You will feel the heat and take plenty of :twobyfour:hits because your PURPOSE for starting this thread will be misunderstood.
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understood..didn't mean to cause a trigger..if i did I apologize No apology necessary. It is not a trigger it is something that bothers me about MB. IMHO MB seems to have a "boys will be boys" attitude when it comes to WHs and men in general and WWs and women in general are "looked down upon". At least that is my take on it. I guess i will just stay off of your "men" thread.
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Understood. I wasn't trying to turn the thread into argue that men are wrong to think what they think. I was only trying to show the female perspective of why it's not so cut and dry.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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understood..didn't mean to cause a trigger..if i did I apologize No apology necessary. It is not a trigger it is something that bothers me about MB. IMHO MB seems to have a "boys will be boys" attitude when it comes to WHs and men in general and WWs and women in general are "looked down upon". At least that is my take on it. I guess i will just stay off of your "men" thread. Wow.. this is a touchy subject for you..it is evident that you still harbor much hurt over this.
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Understood. I wasn't trying to turn the thread into argue that men are wrong to think what they think. I was only trying to show the female perspective of why it's not so cut and dry. When is anything cut and dry? There are always variables..always.
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understood..didn't mean to cause a trigger..if i did I apologize No apology necessary. It is not a trigger it is something that bothers me about MB. IMHO MB seems to have a "boys will be boys" attitude when it comes to WHs and men in general and WWs and women in general are "looked down upon". At least that is my take on it. I guess i will just stay off of your "men" thread. Wow.. this is a touchy subject for you..it is evident that you still harbor much hurt over this. No hurt at all just an observation regarding my thoughts on MB men versus women.
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WWs and women in general are "looked down upon". I'm a FWW, and I do not feel this way at all...I'm sure there are some posters that do "look down" on WWs/women, but (1) I'm no longer a WW (2)I REALLY like being a woman, regardless of what others may think, and (3) I don't look down on me, and neither does Mr. W...Those opinions are the two that matter the most anyway... I totally agree with you OuchThatHurts and Shaken...I LOVE that Mr. W is the leader of our household...I couldn't ask for a better, more Godly man...Following him is a true pleasure...  Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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WWs and women in general are "looked down upon". I'm a FWW, and I do not feel this way at all...I'm sure there are some posters that do "look down" on WWs/women, but (1) I'm no longer a WW (2)I REALLY like being a woman, regardless of what others may think, and (3) I don't look down on me, and neither does Mr. W...Those opinions are the two that matter the most anyway... I totally agree with you OuchThatHurts and Shaken...I LOVE that Mr. W is the leader of our household...I couldn't ask for a better, more Godly man...Following him is a true pleasure... Mrs. W As i said before this is IMHO as "i" have observed in posts on this forum.
Last edited by Still_Crazy; 04/21/09 12:42 PM.
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If men want to be treated like men, then maybe they should start acting like MEN instead of frightened little girls. I can't count the times we see men on here who live in TERROR of their wive's anger and then complain that they get no respect.  They teach their own sons to grow up and be little pansies who tolerate disrespect. The thing that makes me the angriest is when these pansymen ABANDON their homes and children because some tyrannical woman told them she "needs space." I guess we should be grateful that she didn't tell him to jump off the cliff, but it is bad enough when a MAN abandons his own family in their time of GREATEST NEED. I will give them credit, though, usually when we start pointing this out to BH's, they buck up and take action. At first they are a little shocked, but they listen and usually try and turn it around.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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No hurt at all just an observation regarding my thoughts on MB men versus women. I have been here for years and have never seen any such thing.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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No hurt at all just an observation regarding my thoughts on MB men versus women. I have been here for years and have never seen any such thing. Well maybe you have not, but "my" observation is different and that is okay.
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Well maybe you have not, but "my" observation is different and that is okay. In fact, if I were going to speculate, I would say that BETRAYED SPOUSES recieve many more 2x4s than anyone else - BY FAR. It always amazes me when people never mention them and focus on WWs.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Also men must be willing to take his position as a leader. A woman will gladly give the lead to a man who has his head screwed on straight and is looking out for the welfare of the family. She only takes the lead when the man refuses to. And some men are just too lazy not to stop her. They figure if she wants to do it..I'll let her. WRONG. That is the moment she starts losing respect. If she is better at figuring the bills than the man, then yes..let her, but be involved and learn to do it yourself. A woman wants security and she wants it from her man..she doesn't want to have to provide it for herself if she has a man.
Pepperband is correct
Not commanding respect is not providing leadership.
A woman that is being led well respects her man immensely. Agreed. The finances thing WOW. My H refused to even try.  It IS disappointing to feel I must bear all the pressure.
BS, 28 WH, 36 11/08-? EA(s?), no PA's, lied (net&women) MLC end 5/09? Enter R M 2000 Child, 5.5 yrs
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Can you cite an example Still_Crazy? I've seen you make that statement a couple of times and I always wonder what you mean...
Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Also men must be willing to take his position as a leader. A woman will gladly give the lead to a man who has his head screwed on straight and is looking out for the welfare of the family. She only takes the lead when the man refuses to. And some men are just too lazy not to stop her. A woman that is being led well respects her man immensely. Awesome post, shaken, I agree 100%. Men can blame women only so far. But the buck stops with the man in the mirror when he becomes an ADULT. He can't blame anyone but himself after that.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Can you cite an example Still_Crazy? I've seen you make that statement a couple of times and I always wonder what you mean...
Mrs. W I can not give you exact examples, it is just my take on threads such as this one and the one Pep just bumped about "why they love men" and the "are wayward women worse than wayward men" thread and the "run of the mill WW" are just a few i can think of right away.
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I can not give you exact examples, it is just my take on threads such as this one and the one Pep just bumped about "why they love men" and the "are wayward women worse than wayward men" thread and the "run of the mill WW" are just a few i can think of right away. If you do not understand the purpose of a thread I started , please ask me. I am very happy to discuss such things with you on the original thread. Let's not threadjack. 
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I agree with this. As a young woman the thing I cannot stand is a man who tries to win me over by bowing down to me.
I do not want a man who will do everything I say, I want one who can, in a way, challenge me and take charge, if that makes sense.
I always thought of myself as a feminist but I've come to agree--if a man cannot fight for me and BE A MAN in the sense of caring and providing (not necessarily for money, but being there too), then I do not respect him and therefore would have no interest in him.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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