Do you have anything for a man says the following? So, after all, that's what he wants (to be single). How can I deal with this?

HUBBY says: do you or did you ever feel you preferred by single even after being married?

WIFE says: Tough question. Yes and no. Can we talk about this when we are together? Uh oooh, is that the feeling you are having?

HUBBY says: yes but we'll talk about it when we're together.

Hi PBJH and welcome to MB,

I think the vets will need a little more information from you before they can offer advice. I am a newbie and don't feel experienced enough to offer solid advice to you, but I can get the ball rolling and offer a warm welcome.

How old are you both, how long have you been married? How long were you two together before you married? Any children? Any problems in the marriage that you are aware of?

From the briefest of information you have given you could both use this is a positive opportunity to sit down and have an open and honest discussion about your marriage and how you are both meeting each others needs. Find out what his needs are and ask him how you are doing in meeting them.

Have you read the articles on this site?

PB,

I would bet a substantial amout of money that your H wants to be single to prusue another woman. Rarely do people want to divorce to be alone. I would start checking into what he is doing. Check the computer, his cell phone, etc.

There is a snooping thread on here somewhere. Search for it.

How long you been married? Any kids?

Sounds like your H is inflicted with "the grass may be greener on the other side" mentality. I doubt a person wants to be alone. Does he want to be single to go play the field? There are consequences to both.

"Let's talk about it when we're together"

How often are you apart?
How often together?
Why?

If he's on an oil rig for months at a time, or deployed overseas, that's a different situation than if he was calling you from work and he's home every night and weekends.

Thank you all for all the postings. Here's the answers to your Qs:

How often are you apart? As often as he wants me to go away (nicely said: "visit your monther") Last two months I have been away, except a week in the middle (after a month) visited HOME.

How often together? 1 month, then he wanted me to go away for 2 months.

Why? He needed space and re-evaluate things on his own, because he was not happy for two years (I did not know - 1 year he was overseas anyway - we visited each other 5 times).

He's deployed overseas but this time we were supposed to move together. No, he was not calling me from work and I don't know if he's home every night and weekends.

How long you been married? 16 years

No kids

Me 48, him 44

How long were you two together before you married? 8 months (5 months of it was away from each other - dated only 3 months)

Any problems in the marriage that you are aware of? COMMUNICATION, being separated (military life - although retired almost 3 years ago),

Have you read the articles on this site? I read the whole book "SURVIVING AN AFFAIR"

Honey, SNOOP. SNOOP NOW. And stop leaving. He is, what do they call it? Cake eating? He's trying to get all that he wants in his world. I'd bet money you are away so he can have time with his girlfriend or time to play the field. It just sounds fishy. Snoop, snoop, snoop. There IS a girlfriend or some other such betrayal, I'd lay money on it, because it's a sure bet with what you are saying.