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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 15
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 15 |
I need some help. I have no where to ask except for here. I feel so alone, ashamed,guilty, confused and am becoming depressed. I am a Christian, of 25 years and am 37 years old.
I have been having an affair for 3 years on and off. The other man is married as well. The option of both of us divorcing our spouses is not an option. I dont know how this happened. I know that I have been isolated from my husband of 17 years for the past 7 years. We go to counseling,weput the effort in- he actually acts like he loves me (short lived) and then here we are again on the cycle. We attend church only if I initiate going. I know I cannot divorce my spouse because of my 10 year old and 7 year old. I feel trapped. I am a mess. I put on a happy face for everyone. I have prayed. I have tried to stop the "alone time" with the other man. I love the other man. He is kind,gentle,compassionate, funny and loves me. How can I be so stupid to engage in this behavior when I know I can never have this man? How can I disobey God? I have good weeks then one bad one that sets me way back. I know better. I am so exhausted of feeling unloved in my own home.I would divorce if I didnt have kids. I would rather be alone. But that is not an option...Ihave always been the one who"plays by the rules" and look at me now? I am a complete disaster. I have no one to confide in.
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,964
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Member
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,964 |
TB,
I would guess your H does not read this site, but I can tell you that my reading this site did save my marriage, and it cost me nothing.
I would presume you will have to confess and he will need the support.
God Bless
NJ
Last edited by newjersey; 05/05/09 10:52 AM.
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
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Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245 |
This man does not love you. He loves having sex with you. If it wasn't you, he would find someone else.
If you are a Christian, you know about forgiveness. The only option you have left is to tell your husband and ask for forgiveness.
Is he abusive in any way?
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 285
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Member
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 285 |
Read the basic concepts - link on the right - and everything about infidelity on this site.
Me 49 SAHD; W 41 SAHM; DS3, DS4.
Seven year affairage.
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