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Ok...back.

Are you in a community property state?

Did she sign the joint return?

Did the return indicate the refund would be direct deposited into your individual bank accout or did you get (or are you holding a joint check)?

*If you are holding a joint check...not much you can do with it until she signs it.

Who paid in what to the IRS? If you PAID in more (earnings aren't relevant) than you are entitled to more of the refund regardless of anything else.

In the end, even if some of the money IS hers...doesn't mean you can't apply it to a marital obligation instead of handing her cash. Pay it all on a joint bill and be done with it. Send her an email indicating "I used our refund to pay xyz". Maybe she co-signed the mortgage or lease agreement on your home...use it directly for that as just because she's moved out doesn't mean she's not still liable for it. Pay rent in advance even. Since no divorce/separation proceedings are under way...the refund is "OUR" money...not yours and hers to be divided up.

Of course...get your attorney's advice on the matter as though I'm a tax attorney...I've only looked at this a few minutes.

Mr. W


FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered

"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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Just got an email from a lurker on this subject:

She indicated that she took a joint refund check and ddposited into a remaining idle joint checking account and then immediately paid down a joint credit card debt with the money all without obtaining her spouses signature on the check or anything. Her attorney advised her that that was OK and nothing further came of it in the divorce proceedings that are now finalized.

Any joint obligation would be OK...even if she's just a co-signor on your auto loan or lease.

Just an idea.

Mr. Wondering


FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered

"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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She gave me the tax documents while we were separated. I filed for the taxes electronically and filled her signature in electronically. She is now lying and claiming that I signed for her against her will.

The money was put into my account. There are no joint resources that we need to have payed off. Although she did take my Target card and charged $600 to it without my knowing until I got a bill.



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A refund results from an overpayment of income tax, either by withholding or by estimated tax payments for the year in question. The source of the overpayment determines ownership of the refund. U.S. v. Anthony, No. CIV 97-1772-PHX-SMM, 1999 W.L. 424884 (D. Ariz.1999). Under federal tax law, an overpayment by a married couple is owned by each spouse separately to the extent that he or she contributed to the overpayment. Rev. Rul. 74-611, 1974-2, C.B. 399. Each spouse has a separate interest in the family income as reported on a joint tax return and, consequently, a separate interest in any overpayment. Id.


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Well...my lawyer says she has pushed for a court date now...no matter what.


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I had a very, very good weekend, and there was a someone I met. A someone I can't really talk (or think) about as long as I'm wearing the wrong last name. So I'm once again ready for this to be over.
So let me get this straight, besides the OM, she now has someone new that she's interested in?


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Monc,

Please edit out any profanity from your wayward wife's blog before posting. The Harleys do not wish to have profanity used here on their board. Thank you in advance for respecting their wishes.




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I'm very sorry Maverick. I saw that in my earlier e-mail...I guess I missed it again. I'm getting used to it from her that I glaze right over.

Wow, I assumed it was the same guy...she made a blog entry again two hours ago...new guy...second OM! @&#%!!!!!

Last edited by Monc; 05/07/09 03:19 PM.

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Her diary:
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Came home, and was settling into bed that night when the phone rang. New Guy calling. What am I up to this weekend? Oh, I don't know. What would you like me to be doing this weekend?

So, life definitely did not suck yesterday. Matter of fact, I enjoyed the hell out of it. I may not be out of the tunnel, and the light may be tantalizing from so far away, but at least it's there. I can see it, and it's there.

Also, she got refunded for the New York trip that got canceled and is now, "planning on going with the new guy, he is supposedly from New York, but wait, that would be too quick so maybe with a friend only..."


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I look forward to my Harley appointment tomorrow.

...I wonder...if there IS a new guy could I figure out how to introduce him to OM#1 or tell OM#1 about it?


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The court date was june but I just got my lawyer to set it for a jury hearing. Now it's going to be as far as September...and three times as expensive for me.

Last edited by Monc; 05/07/09 04:18 PM.

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Originally Posted by Monc
I look forward to my Harley appointment tomorrow.

...I wonder...if there IS a new guy could I figure out how to introduce him to OM#1 or tell OM#1 about it?
Monc, I think that is an excellent idea!

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Mark came up with something I also considered...she is calling the same guy new to pretend to the world that this guy wasn't here before...


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Either way, you owe it to OM to tell them what a landmine they are in for.

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I don't think he's interested in understanding how *swear*'ed up, my wife is... He is 20 and has no idea what is normal...


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Originally Posted by Monc
I wonder...if there IS a new guy could I figure out how to introduce him to OM#1 or tell OM#1 about it?

OM#1 probably wouldn't care that much. Probably saw your WW as another notch on the handle. The new OM on the other hand, might be interested in finding out what your WW really is like before finding himself in any sort of relationship with her.


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Originally Posted by Monc
The court date was june but I just got my lawyer to set it for a jury hearing. Now it's going to be as far as September...and three times as expensive for me.

I gotta tell you ... this is FOOLISH!!!

Exactly WHAT are you trying to save here???

It appears to me that all you're doing is prolonging YOUR own agony, while wasting a bunch of money to do it.

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That is something I am afraid of...am I fighting a truly lost battle?


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Originally Posted by Monc
That is something I am afraid of...am I fighting a truly lost battle?

She has now moved on to a 20 year old????

I hate to ask, but now knowing this, are you still sure this is a battle you want to fight...and pay more for?

And I am sorry to say, but as to the 20 year old; I doubt he'll care about OM1. He prob insn't interested in a long-term committed realtionship anyway.

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Originally Posted by Monc
That is something I am afraid of...am I fighting a truly lost battle?

IMHO ... YES!!!

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