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Is it just me or does it seem like there is a preponderance of ws who are doctor's? Mine, DNUI, and at least another that escapes me at the moment.
Is it the profession, the "god complex" that comes with the position?
How many more are out there on the board- just taking notes here, and seeing if there is a pattern or maybe I am just seeing a pattern that isn't there (kinda like when you buy a car and then see everyone else driving the same one).
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i think you are seeing a pattern where none really exists. WSs are all selfish and come from many professions. Look at stay at home mothers...there are a lot of those on here.
Me: 32 BS DDay: 9/14/08 Slowly coming to the realization that I am one of those who can't get past it.
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fair enough. Just my imagination.
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I do agree that WS can and do come from any background and profession...
but babyonboard, I am one of the other BS whose WS is a doctor also. And a WS with repeated affairs....a mess to be sure.
And at least for my WS, I do think that the profession had to do something with it...because that is how he met all of his affair partners. And it was something of a "rescue" mission with all of them...yuck.
I was ready for plan B/D but at the last minute, he told me the affair was over and that he wanted to work on us. I don't know what to do....
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Is it the profession, the "god complex" that comes with the position? Actually bob, I think you have a valid point. Although waywards come from all professions, some do seem more prevelent. It seems to center around those with some type of "power" over others. I have been in banking for 27 years, and when I first started, I remember an old saying that was told to new lenders ... "Never loan money to anyone whose occupation begins with a P". Now some may find it offensive to stereotype professions, but after 27 years, I have noticed the correlation myself. Using those same observations, I've seen the same correlation with waywards here ... think about it ... (i.e. Physicians, Policemen, Preachers, Politicians, etc.). And, FWIW, all of these occupations are historically poor credit risks, even though some of them make HUGE $$$. These professions seem to carry "power" over certain individuals, and we all have seen how power corrupts. So I think it is logical that power could easily corrupt an individual and make them more likely to take advantage of that "power". Anyway ... just food for thought and discussion.
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If you use the statistical data that ______% of marriages will suffer adultery, then you could reasonably crunch the numbers and correlate that _______% of people in the ______________ profession will be WS or BS.
But yes, things do appear to trend at times.
Recovery began 10/07;
Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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SMB and I were talking about this at one time, and she said it very well. Unfortunately, I think infidelity is not limited to a certain industry. It seems to be an equal opportunity destroyer.
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How about this:
"doctors" tend to make alot of money. And work long hours. And are genrally pretty bright people.
OP? They are looking to "move up" And guess who a good target to "move up" with.
Someone with alot of $$$.
So, its a volitale mix.
And its true of other professions as well.
But affairs are equal opportunity destroyers.
When 50% of all marriages are affected, its pretty hard to think that doctors are overly represented in that pool. How about "doctors spouses"?
LG
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I was thinking about about the predatory factor myself. I know that the ow in my case is an OT which does make alot of money, but she is well to do anyway. Her dad is a Dentist and her brother is professional football player for NC. She has a 400k condo in Chicago and is in no way hurting for money. But all the info I have on her points to a barracuda in the sense that she made sure that she was going to get what she wanted from my H before she kicked her bf out.
As far as Doctors spouses, I can't really shed any light on that. All I can say is that it was a very lonely existence, but I respected my H and my M enough to not let that be an excuse, and yes I had plenty of opportunities.
MYREV, very interesting. I was also thinking about the power factor in other professions- especially with the Edward's thing back in the headline.
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This is an interesting observation. I was going to post the folowing comment in DNU1's thread, but this is probably a better place.
My FWH's clients are all physicians. He notices a strong streak of god complex/arrogance in them. He has also reported a number of affairs among his clients.
I think some of the explanation is the power angle and opportunity aspects mentioned upthread.
Some of it may also be due to their sense of entitlement. These physicians are typically the cream of the scholastic crop (more so the middle age and older). They make incredible sacrifices for their profession at a time when most of us were out dating and having fun. They unquestionably serve a critical need in our society. They find themselves in the role of caregiver when that may go against their personality type. I think all these factors combine to lead them to conclude that they are entitled to indulge themselves when the opportunity comes along. Maybe they get emotionally stunted by missing out on all the fun in their 20's.
Just speculation on my part.
Me BW 48 FWH 49 D-days: too many to keep track of, but last one on 4/3/10
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babyonboard, My XW is a physician in a surgical specialty. I think docs in general have high ENs for Admiration and Domestic Support. Surgical specialists are highly narcissitic too. Spend lots of time at work and have patients, nurses, techs, etc. sucking up to them all day long. They are married to their career, not to you. The marriage is neglected and prioritized beneath their career. I guess if your top EN is Financial Support and you can get all of your other ENs met by others or yourself, then possibly this can work. Not in my case.
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I'm another doctor's spouse. I definitely think his profession changed him for the worse.
I started a long rant here but decided to delete it. It takes a very strong character to maintain some humility in the face of the ego-building in that profession.
And there are plenty of predators who are drawn to doctors.
Chrysalis
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Someone needs to tell them that they get halitosis and flatulence like the rest of us. :twobyfour:
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i liken this to saying, there is a higher occurrence of infidelity in politicians (or actors/actresses). it is kind of like airplane crashes. there are not that many, but they are plastered all over the news, so we think they happen much more often than they really do. i agree that infedility is an equal opportunity destroyer
Me: 32 BS DDay: 9/14/08 Slowly coming to the realization that I am one of those who can't get past it.
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I have seen two new BS's on the boards in just the short time I've been here and both of these men were doctors. I believe the "equal opportunity destroyer" phrase suits the discussion well.
FWIW, I can see one major common denominator in ALL cases of infidelity..... The wayward has a life that is filled with "Independent Behaviors" that goes unchecked.
Recovery began 10/07;
Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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Hi all, I made a statement to DNU on several of his threads concerning his W's profession. ON his latest I pointed out that without a doubt the most "ruthless" WS I have ever seen where in her profession. I agree that the cheating is not limited to one or even a few professions but the combination of "good" income, power in a hospital and being surrounded with people that offer more respect than is warranted is very seductive. Further, medical doctors don't seem to worry about the "cost" of these things emotionally as they hold other things as "more important." Having said this, we have had more than a few BS's who were/are medical doctors and they were devastated by their W's betrayal. ONe of them even ended up saving the OM's life in surgery. So it still does work both ways. I got to ask MyRev, what about physicists??? ![smile smile](/ubbt/images/graemlins/default/smile.gif) God Bless, JL
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I got to ask MyRev, what about physicists??? And Psychics.......and Palm Readers?
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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I got to ask MyRev, what about physicists??? And Psychics.......and Palm Readers? ![rotflmao rotflmao](/ubbt/images/graemlins/default/roflmao.gif)
Recovery began 10/07;
Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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I got to ask MyRev, what about physicists??? ![smile smile](/ubbt/images/graemlins/default/smile.gif) Don't know??? I've never loaned money to a physicist ... actually, you're the first one I've ever met ... and we've NEVER MET! ![grin grin](/ubbt/images/graemlins/default/grin.gif) What's your credit score??? ... and what is the purpose of this loan??? ![stickout stickout](/ubbt/images/graemlins/default/tongueout.gif)
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ONe of them even ended up saving the OM's life in surgery. ![shocked shocked](/ubbt/images/graemlins/default/shocked.gif) Wow. Talk about nerves of steel.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage ********************* “In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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