I'm sorry HH, but based on your response to me, I do not think you understood me. Should I clarify?

Frankly, I see the constant appeal to authority, the vague suggestion of legal action, and the expression of victimization as alarming and not very credible.

I really think it might be good for you to step back, take a deep breath, and reconsider the things that you're saying.

Seabird,
interesting that you don't recognize your own logical fallacies. Look at how you just made a straw man out of what I said. Are you suggesting I write you a 20+ page paper?
Why don't you write it first, addressing these logical fallacies you claim I am making in detail?
Convenient for you to try to turn the tables, secure the "power" position by putting me on the defensive.
I did not say a rational discussion was not important. Ambiguously interpreting my words makes it convenient for how you will spin them. Anyways, this is a waste of my time. You want to argue, I don't have time for this. You want to be "right", good luck, go ahead.

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HH,

I don't see the straw man in my post? You asked for the fallacies. Oh and yes I do value being right. You've made it clear that you do not value logical argument so, we can't really have a discussion. Now I really am done, I only put in this last response to be polite and not leave with an insult, even if it was a joke.

6yearsleft,
"You've made it clear that you do not value logical argument so, we can't really have a discussion."
I never said that. You are speculating, twisting my words.

The emotionally mature person can disengage at any point in an argument and know that their value has not diminished by doing so and their value may actually increase for doing so. The emotionally mature person knows that their path is true and does not have to argue that it is so. The emotionally mature person knows that they are where they are right now based fully on their personal choices. The emotionally mature person accepts the responsibility for their choices and the consequences of their choices. The emotionally mature is aware that they might not always choose wisely and has the ability to forgive themselves for the bad choices that they have made. The emotionally mature person learns from their bad choices and do not repeat them and makes a valid attempt to avoid making bad choices. The emotionally mature person plans for the best, worst, and most probable outcomes for both tactical and strategic issues. Others are simply reactive by emoting rather than apply logic, reason, and rationality. You have to choose emotional maturity as your path and work hard to attain it as it does not come naturally to most. It is infinitely harder to be emotionally mature than to simply emote.

Booka,
thank you. That was deeply meaningful =) Worthwhile too.

I see your appeal to authority in the references to the college course you took, and the professors at the university you took the class at.

You offered up a vague threat of legal repercussions if your claim of abuse at Pariah's hands didn't get addressed by the forum administrators.

And you've been claiming to be a victim of abuse from the get go, when really, all anyone is doing is questioning your judgment, or in Pariah's case, questioning your veracity.

Finally, I merely observed that the kind of "abuse" you claim to be sustaining here is rather very mild compared to what I've seen elsewhere. Your response was another appeal to authority based on the size of the forum you claim to be a moderator on.

Well it's too bad that people have reacted in this thread the way they have because all it appears to have served is sidetracking the original post and issue, which is, she regrets what she's done and is grieving the loss of her marriage. It's too bad no one has offered any constructive advice on how to try to recover her marriage. HH, I would put offensive posters on ignore and stick to reading constructive posts that might be more helpful to your situation. And FTR, I wish my ex would have been remorseful and wanted to salvage our marriage instead of what happened. To date, he never came home never gave up his GF, and hasn't made any attempt to pay me back what he stole from me. Concentrate on making yourself the best and healthiest person you can...I wouldn't "move on" until your husband actually divorces you. You will need a healing period anyway, so there's really no rush in moving on...just use this time to heal, learn, and grow. You needn't cow to him, that's not attractive anyway, but be the person you say you have become and don't worry about his or anyone else's reactions.

HH, I think Booka was talking about YOU.

My view:
victimization + self-absorption + need for instant gratification over another's benefit = cheater

When that cheater can leave it all behind and STOP having to be right, understood, accepted, a victim, but rather take on the onus for every harm they have done and enter a room with total humility...then that cheater is no longer a cheater.

Are you willing to work on that path? If so, you have a long way to go.

I am locking this thread.

Any questions can be directed to my email below.

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