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#2261564 05/15/09 09:12 AM
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My Rev wrote: if somebody else wants to raise &/or support someone else's child, it doesn't affect me in the least.

Oh, I know Rev...and I've seen you champion children's and father's rights a lot and I respect the h-e-double-hockey-sticks outta that.

I'm not wired that way...you know when it's said "it takes a village to raise a child?" I believe that. Where and when I came up we were accountable to all the adults - but conversely, THEY took the responsiblity to act as interim praisers and enforcers in our lives and whoa buddy if yer mom heard that you disrespected pl' Mister Robertfart down the street when he told you not to be dyin' the cat green!

My cousin (Robertfart) told me there are basically a few types of people in the world...and then he told me I fell into the type of person that thinks they can change the world by recycling and takin' over responsiblities when others can't or won't.

I think it was just a nice way of him telling me to lay off the Sci-fi and Fantasy section of the library.

I failed to ask him what the other types were - but I'm supposing they are the ones that don't see any sisterhood/brotherhood or proper raisin' up of FUNCTIONING and production future villagers, or don't believe in the possiblity of such a thing...and prolly those that think it doesn't matter much if they jettison boatloads of dirty diapers into the ocean.

But the really hard part of it for me is understanding that PEOPLE do believe and live this way.

Even after EVERYTHING I've seen and been through, I still have trouble with that bit.



I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

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Originally Posted by DeDe
I think it was just a nice way of him telling me to lay off the Sci-fi and Fantasy section of the library.

Did you tell him you were studying for the Kobayashi Maru test?


Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It aint just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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No.

I believe I passed the Kobyashi Maru - WITHOUT CHEATING.

I got everyone out in one piece with as minimal damage as possible...no one died, and everyone is thriving.


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

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Dealan-de,

Have you seen the new Star Trek movie? tst and I saw it Wednesday. It was great!

I grew up watching Star Trek with my daddy! It was bonding time. smile



Happily married to HerPapaBear



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Congratulations!

I did not fare as well.

I got out in one piece with my daughter though. It left quite a debris field however.


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D-de

Bloodlines aren't everything but I if my H had OC from his A, I know I could not stay with him.

In Zelmo's situation, he has loved his daughter as his own (and she could be his as it's all speculation at this point) for over 6 yrs. I would still do DNA testing just so I didn't drive myself crazy over it but would still regard her as mine no matter what.

Star Trek - Some cool TV shows were on last weekend showing how tech geeks got their ideas from the show. The guy who made ipod for Apple is cashing in thanks to a Star Trek idea.


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
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Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
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BR, you honestly don't know until you are in those shoes what decision you will make. I never thought I would accept a child from my H's affair. We have only been having visitation for about 3 months and I am quite attached to him.

My lovely friend, Kimmy (Delean-de) is quite exceptional in her ability to love though.


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I got out in one piece with my daughter though. It left quite a debris field however.


The goal of Kobayashi Maru is not about getting out unscathed. The goal is to SURVIVE with as minimal damage as humanly (or Vulcanly or Ferengily or Klingonly or Betazedianly etc.) possible.

Adultry is much like the KM....everyone gets a slice of the hurt pie.

STB Admiral Pike: "Your father was Captain for twelve minutes, and in that time he saved eight hundred lives. I dare you to do better."


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

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>My lovely friend, Kimmy (Delean-de) is quite exceptional in her ability to love though.


Damitol woman! Quit gettin' mushy on me...I'm a rootin' tootin' (well, not tootin - I leave that to the boys) cowgirl! We don't do mush, lessin' it's G.R.I.T.S.

BR: Faith is correct. You don't know what you'd do lessin' yer in it and must weigh ALL potential outcomes in your noggin. Was a hard row to hoe, I must say.


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

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I know the child is innocent but honestly I think it would be the deal breaker for me. Everyone has different thresholds. It would be one thing if H never knew he had a child (not from an A) and the child showed up at our door years later. Even if it was from an A, if enough years had passed it could be a ???? But if OW had gotten preggers and he pulled a John Edwards on me or I knew about the pregnancy from day 1, nope...we'd be divorced.

And I have much respect for Kimmy to open her heart and home. smile


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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>Everyone has different thresholds

Perhaps that is it, then...and not the village thing?

Perhaps it's not the raisin' up of me that enabled me to weigh the potential outcomes, but it was that my threshold is weirder/further back/stranger than others?

Oi. Such deep thoughts for a Friday.

I'll just put the answer down as 42 and be done with it.


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

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I don't think you are stangerer or weirder LOL.

Everyone is different and that's not a bad thing. Your little people are very lucky to have you as a mom.


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Okay BR...

I've got a hypothetical ?

(God forbid) If there was an OC and you told wh not to let the back door hitcha where the Goodlord splitcha, how would you go about it with your children?

I'm not judging...I'm just wondering how it would be handled.

My kids were 13, 6 and 4 years old when the excrement hit the oscillating blades.

I'm just wondering what the scenery might've looked like had I chosen another path, I think.


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

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I would have told my children the truth just as I did about their dad's A. I would tell them that I can not handle being married to their father anymore and that I'm sorry they are hurting over the loss of our family. My children are old enough to understand the jist of how a baby came to be and they know what marriage is supposed to be like as well. It would be yet another consequence of their father's poor choices but one I couldn't live with.

I even think my children would have a hard time accepting an OC. They both think OW is disgusting and would not want her around them in any way. Having an OC would make that a reality. Would their feelings change over time? I don't know. I wouldn't force them to do anything out allegience to me but I also wouldn't let them think the presence of OC wasn't a deal breaker for me either.

Last edited by black_raven; 05/15/09 10:48 AM. Reason: typos

BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Posts: 8,344
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>They both think OW is disgusting and would not want her around them in any way.

My middle son HATES OW.



I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

Recovered!
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My DD hates OW and thinks she is pathetic, but she loves her brother.


Faith

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DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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I made it very clear to my kids that just because OW is nasty that her children aren't and people aren't guilty just by association.

Anywho, I don't have to worry about it since H's plumbing has been broken for years. Although that didn't stop me from demanding he test that out as well when he went for his STD testing. :crosseyedcrazy:

Last edited by black_raven; 05/15/09 12:01 PM.

BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt

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