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Ya, I think I can do that. I have a step sister who lives in another state, and another friend, who would probably help me.
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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I just found a work phone
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Awesome! Can you call tomorrow?
I would disguise your # like I told you and also brace yourself for the eventuality that the OW has warned him about you. So be prepared to offer up PROOF and give him names, dates, times, etc. Can you do that?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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which town? I have kin in Illinois!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Peoria
I have disguised number, but i think even getting alot of calls from a blocked phone number might make her suspect.
I think he will believe me. I am totally sure that he already suspects. Maybe afraid to confront? According to my husband, he knew that they talked all the time.
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Bravo to you! Are you all ready to make the call tomorrow?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Cg, please do tell him. You are giving him a gift, the truth.
I know that what MB is saying seems contradictory to your heart, possibly your head, but it DOES work. I've been lurking for two years, and it works; it CAN work.
Take charge of your life! Be the saviour of your family, nobody else is going to do it right now, so YOU do it!
YOU CAN DO IT!
Me BS
H FWS
DDay 10/2007
Actively recovering, learning, loving, earning a better marriage!
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Bravo Clay
Nobody ever regrets doing the right thing.
Once the intial storm settles down (and it will), I'd say you'll feel so good about it that you'll be kicking yourself hard for not doing it sooner....much sooner. Be prepared for upset. We've heard it all before. He'll tell you this is/was the LAST STRAW. That he never wants to talk to you again...blah, blah, blah. Don't buy it. Nothing worse is going to happen than was going to happen anyway...in time.
We are all very sorry you are in the position you are in.
Keep us updated....and remember my fake apology when husband finds out...."Ooops, my bad".
Mr. Wondering
FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered
"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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Oh gosh, I've seen it time and time again, what Mr W is saying... 'You've done it now" "I can never get over this" "You just ruined anything we may have had" "I was going to give us a chance but now..." , etc. I wish I could tell you just how typical what they say is. Soooo very typical; sickeningly so. (sp?)
When he wants to fight with you: practice saying "I will do whatever it takes to fight/save our marriage". Be a broken record! Don't engage an argument. YOU CAN DO THIS!
Me BS
H FWS
DDay 10/2007
Actively recovering, learning, loving, earning a better marriage!
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You go, girl! You can do this. Remember, this is war. You are battling for your marriage!
Keep posting so we can help you through what will come next. Be brave.
Me, BS, 35 - H, FWS, 38
Married 15 years, 4.5 years into Recovery
EA/PA 7/09-9/09
DDay 9/5/09, started Plan A
Exposed 9/13/09, started preparing for Plan B
H finally confessed and agreed to NC 9/27/09, never went to Plan B
Still a MB rookie, but striving to learn more and put it into practice every day... w/ FWH along for the ride
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I finally found the link for the carrot and the stick in another thread. Read it when you are ready (if you haven't yet). It helped me. http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2252378&page=1
Me, BS, 35 - H, FWS, 38
Married 15 years, 4.5 years into Recovery
EA/PA 7/09-9/09
DDay 9/5/09, started Plan A
Exposed 9/13/09, started preparing for Plan B
H finally confessed and agreed to NC 9/27/09, never went to Plan B
Still a MB rookie, but striving to learn more and put it into practice every day... w/ FWH along for the ride
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I am still trying to get ahold of OWH. Left message on voicemail at work. hopefully he will call me back. I will keep trying. I am going to change my board name and let this thread get buried. I am going to suggest marriage builders to OWH. I am holding out hope that soon I will be able to suggest MB to my husband as well. My girls are still super angry. Husband texted each of them at 1:00 a.m. waking them both up. Oldest texted him back not to do that again as it woke her up from well needed rest. I feel like I am doing this backwards. I wish I had MB last fall. As I am doing more of plan A, but he is out of the house.
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I really wish you wouldn't tell him about MB. One, he won't hear it - you can't educate a wayward. Two, he'll find you hear and use it against you. Stick to exposure.
Who else have you exposed to?
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OK. you are right. I did change my board name to free2be, and I am starting new thread. Would prefer if OWH doesn't see this one. Let it get buried
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I feel like I am behid the eight ball. Since my husband moved out before I found MB. Any suggestions on what to do after the storm of exposure wears off since my husband is not at home?
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I'm concerned - What IF OWH tells OW about this website, and OW tells your H? You don't know what OWH is like.
Me, BS, 35 - H, FWS, 38
Married 15 years, 4.5 years into Recovery
EA/PA 7/09-9/09
DDay 9/5/09, started Plan A
Exposed 9/13/09, started preparing for Plan B
H finally confessed and agreed to NC 9/27/09, never went to Plan B
Still a MB rookie, but striving to learn more and put it into practice every day... w/ FWH along for the ride
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