>looking forward to forever.

Looking forward to it?

Gah.

Where is YOUR compassion?

(BHHFSGuy waves back)

I think there are some on here whom were betrayed years and years ago, yet seem to still have the hate in disgust of waywardness which speaks volumes to not moving on and recovering. They see this as their future, forever a BS. DUDE

I mean to have trashed a marriage is a valuable way to make amends and know where/how I failed.ie Lessons Learned...DUDE

>Lessons Learned

TG for that.

>forever a BS

It is a PART of me. I cannot erase my past. It has enabled me to grow and learn and be ME. I LIKE the me I am now. The me I was was a PUDDLE. I NEVER want to be a puddle again.

Why do you say this like it's a crushing end all thing? It's just a little bit of what makes me, me.

I wouldn't wish what I went through on ANYONE, yet I'm OKAY for it now.

A viper is still a viper, no matter how much you want it to be a kitten.

Then show me..If you have slept w/ someone before you were married, you were never really purely(totally) your husband's right? I mean, those previous men stayed w/ you forever even though you had dedicated your future to your husband? Did you wear a white wedding dress? Do see where I'm going. Most of the BS on here don't even think about these things because they were abused.(like a dog that has rocks thrown at it) They hate rocks! They fear rocks! You see, if you and your husband were not pure, you never really could be 100% absolute. Those memories of "others" stay w/ you even if it was PRE-marriage. That is why the bible forbids pre-marital sex. Do you see that?

I've seen it for a LONG time Dude. I KNOW why I was wrong to have sex before marriage. I realized that a long time ago.

Every single person I was ever with before my husband was a complete and total waste of time and energy.

[censored]. I could've been learning Chinese or something.

I tell my kids this every time we have "the talk."

I also KNOW why God set down The Rules in the first place and NONE of it has anything to do with Him and everything to do with not hurting ourselves and each other.

But what in the name of little green apples has that got to do with any of this?

Why on this thread?

I know.

I'm obtuse.

Cobra...DUDE

Apparently you don't remember the drinkin' Dude. That would be cottonmouth.

Let go of the absolutism. It is a chain, dragging these betrayed people down. "Damn it we were married" "How could he/she do this?" We all know what went on before we were married so lets drop the act. We all have sinned against our marriages and ourselves by having pre-marital sex. You know it and I know it. Its such a relief to recognize it. The wayward was just more OVERT in sinning against the marriage. Do you see that? Is this plausible? DUDE

Okay. Now I get it.

But the marriage ceremony says from then on you put no others before the spouse.

So you're saying because BEFORE that someone did something the whole dealeo is null?

I'm not buyin'.

Both knew what they were gettin' into and what was expected.

Listen: What I'm saying is you both made an "agreement", but your marriage was impure from the very beginning? Do you see that? DUDE

No. The MARRIAGE is "pure" from the moment the minister says, "I now pronounce you man and wife." There is no adultery at that point. Your comparing apples to oranges. Premarital sex IS wrong but has NOTHING whatsoever to do with the "vows" that a couple makes to each other to let no one come before the other.

Vows are synonymous w/ agreement which is what I said. I think Delean will agree that those prior relationships were sins against her FUTURE marriage. They just are, not same as adultery but they damage the mind and spirit in a similar way. I'm sure the betrayed on here will disgree, but its true. DUDE

"Dude -- You might want to reconsider the position you're standing on. The reason COMMON LAW was recognized was because men were trying to BAIL on long term relationships by standing on the position that it WASN'T a MARRIAGE. The courts decided to protect the women who had endured these lengthy relationships without property rights."

Exactly, and not to mention the children born would have no rescource for CS if their Common Law dad were to decide to bail out on their responsibilities.

Now I'm going to have to disagree with you on that one, DUDE. I had numerous relationships before marriage, and I don't view them as sins against my present marriage. If that were the case, how would you argue:
1. Someone who decides never to marry, either by choice or because they just never meet the right person? Are all of their other relationships sins against a hypothetical that never happened?
2. A person who marries a dirtbag the first time around. The dirtbag divorces them, and the person finds a good husband/wife the second time around. Was the first marriage a sin against the current one?
My kids just the other day asked me if I had had any boyfriends before daddy. I said yes. They asked me their names, and I rattled them off. My son was quite happy to continue to quiz and discover that I CHOSE my H after proverbially walking through the whole store first. Had I just walked up and picked one guy and stuck with that, he would have been nervous because I didn't have any other reference points.
So I don't see my previous relationships as sins. Sorry. Well, previous relationships with someone married to someone else would be sins, but except for that.

AND ALL OTHER BENEFITS ASSOCIATED w/ BEING "MARRIED" ARE GRANTED. Wow, we all agree, common law marriage is MARRIAGE acknowledged by the state. I care not WHY the original statute exists, the fact that it exist EQUATES it to those marriage via minister and or Justice of the Peace..DUDE

Pre-marital sex is a sin against your future marriage, yourself, AND GOD, even if its your future husband you are doing it with? You know this right? Where are all the bible thumpers when you need them? DUDE