Isn't this entire argument sort of obsolete, since Nexus (that is the OP, isn't it? I've lost track!) already said that he isn't in a common law state? What difference does it make if he would be considered legally married if he lived in Texas or NZ if he doesn't live in any of those places?

Its the principle if some on here JUDGE/DEEM someone newbie unwarranting of help because they used a justice of the peace instead of a minister(church) and/or grandfathered in to marriage via common law statutes. THAT IS TOTAL BS. PLan A and or B would work for this guys just like any BH on here. "Oh, you aren't married? SOL! I'm off this thread!" What pompus attitudes. DUDE

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks." (or in this case, the man.)

Et tu brute!

The skanks who think its ok to screw like bunnies, then get married to a spouse who did the same, then get betrayed and go, "but hey, all those other people we agreed we were done with once we were married??!" yeah, thats gonna happen after he has slept w/ THIRTY women, then all the sudden he's gonna stick to one, FOR LIFE??! Yeah, not happening..DUDE

I think it may just be hopeless to get this thread back on track. Who someone did or did not sleep with before M has absolutely nothing to do with the OP's problem. He's already admitted that his state doesn't view them as legally married because there is no common-law marriage where he lives. That's all I was pointing out. How is discussing pre-marital relations of current BS's going to help him with his problem?

ITs cool..I love my betrayed peeps on here. They are absolutely predictable.

Still not seeing the similarity. Lemonman was also logical.

tl

Oh, I make up for that w/ this large finger I have that I break out every once in a while for just the right deserving people..DUDE

Yes you are.

edit

So you're still a wayward, at least you admit it.

You eat a full box of TrollSnax�?

The wayward retort is what the betrayed feels is the worst possible insult. Its worse than calling them a loser, or a skank, or a scumbad. Calling them a wayward gives the betrayed a form of redemption. It lifts the betrayed up. This is a symptom of having been betrayed. They hate and are disgusted by anyone w/ even remote wayward tendencies. Its fasinating that a ws has hurt someone so bad they see fire when they see waywardness all around them. Its constant triggers. Its living in hell..I'm so glad I went wayward enough to alleviate that crap. That is a chain of hate w/ no sympathy for a wayward I can't have in my life. DUDE

Let's get back on topic and stop with the personal insults.

so how many people here would of still married their spouse if they cheated on them while dating, engaged,or living together? Why or why not? Just because there is a court paper saying your not married does not mean it is nt cheating and its still betrayal!!!!Church and state are seperated by law.So if you get married by the justice of the peace or you get married at a church it still takes a acommitment by both to make a relationship work married or not. So when your spouse or companion cheats its still cheating and its still hurts Married or not!!!!!!

Would I have still married my H if he had cheated on me while we were dating? No. I found out a week after our wedding that my H still had very strong feelings for his ex-girlfriend. I endured 10 years of having every aspect of my M and family affected by these feelings. If I had known about it before I married him, I never would have done it. I would have gladly saved myself all of that heartache.

Yes, church and state are separate, and in the eyes of the law, there is no difference between being married by a justice of the peace or in a church. However, there is a difference between being married (civilly or religiously) and not being married at all. The OP wasn't married at all. In his state, no legal relationship existed between him and his girlfriend. Sure, it still hurts to get cheated on, whether you are married or not, but the MB principles are designed to save marriages, and since this poster wasn't married, they may not work.

cheating is cheating when they are not married

adultery is also cheating but becomes adultery when there is a marriage

By the way, Pepperband, your dancing turkey is making me hungry. Come on Thanksgiving!

The problem i have is when someone says you were not married so it was nt cheating the companion owes your nothing free to do with what they want.I disagree comittment to someone is like a promise. If a married couple here in the great USA goes on a trip or moves to a country that does nt reconise USA law in regards to marriage and that person has a affair is it still cheating? I believe it is cheating because they were committed to the other person. To me a commitment to some one just as or more important than a pieace of paper that you may or may not follow

Neither the X or I had very many intimate relationships - I was her first, she was my second. If she had cheated on me prior to marriage, I would not have married her. Way too many red flags with the history of divorce in her family. If I knew then what I know now, I'm not sure if I would have married her. Her suddenly walking away from a 10 year marriage and family to me shows a low commitment and respect for the depth that a commitment to marriage entails.