Did you get the kids? How about an update.

No word from the judge yet. It could take up to 3 months. For reference, on the DE courts website, they have all of the decisions that the state Supreme Court has made (all family court appeals go to the supreme court). Anyways, there was a case where the facts / situation were similar to ours. In the original family court case, the trial was 12/22/08 - the judge issued the decision on 4/1/09. So, maybe I'll know something by thanksgiving.

PSU, your situation is one of the reasons I keep coming back. I'm really rooting for you.

Thank you Tabby! I missed the MB boards - I've hanging on the SI site over the last few weeks and it is a lot less constructive over there. There are a lot of good folks over here.

Not much drama has been going on - any drama hasn't really involved me. I got a call from exMIL the other night. She is an absolute wreak over what exWW has been doing to herself. It's just another exhibit in the radioactive fallout from an affair. Evidently, POSOM took exWW's grandmother to the doctor's a few weeks ago. POSOM and exWW then got really mad at grandma for not telling exMIL what a great guy POSOM was for taking her to the doctor. Turns out, grandma gave him $30 for his trouble because he gave her a guilt trip about how exWW does not have any money because of big, bad PSUBIKER.

Me, things have been very quiet. I almost feel like I don't know what to do with myself since there aren't any pending court dates or anything. It's given me time to reflect on how much of a sh$#@!# hand exWW dealt to the kids because of her actions. Her situation really weighs heavily on me. While I should have no concern, it still affects me because I am double paying most of the kid's expenses.

DD4 is doing very well with her speech. Her behavior has improved because she is a lot less frustrated now that she can express herself. DS7 has gotten some trouble at school - mostly talking when not supposed to. I think the current living situation is really starting to grate on him. The kids spend 2 days with exWW at her friends house, 2 days with me, and then swap weekends with the two of us. THe kids have no stability right now and are getting bounced all over the place like pinballs. If the judge rules in my favor, moving around part will take care of itself.

Divorce sux no matter how you look at it. Your kids sound very normal to me. Heck, if my DS ever came home with a report card that DIDN'T say he talked too much in class, I would have been worried! Hopefully the judge rules soon so their lives can settle down a bit. The thing is PSU, it can't go on like this forever. It just can't. Your exWW can't survive this way indefinitely. Unfortunately it can take a really long time.

psubiker

Whether going through a divorce or anything else in life, the waiting for someone in control of your fate stinks. You see the end but can't move towards it.

I guess I missed something. Did you appeal the Court's decision? I thought you were waiting on a final ruling. You know, it wouldn't hurt to call the court clerk and ask if there has been a ruling yet. Sometimes those things just lay on a clerk's desk until they decide to get around to giving it to the judge, or if there has been a ruling, to get notice out. They are in NO hurry.

Meggy,

We haven't heard a decision yet so we are not at the appeal stage. Unless something really screwy happens with the decision, I don't see me appealing due to the cost involved. From my research, it takes an act of god to get a family court custody decision overturned in my state on appeal.

I had a good weekend. For some reason, exWW and I are getting along fairly well right now in terms of kid logistics. She had an interview on Friday and was called into work on Saturday so she called me on Thurs. and asked me to take the kids on those days.

So, I had a fun Saturday with the kids despite the rain. We went to a community Halloween Party, we watched the Penn State - Michigan game at Buffalo Wild Wings and had a GREAT time. DD 4 kept asking when I was going to take her to a game!

After that, we went swimming at the Y and then it was bed time. Late Saturday night I got a call from exMIL. Evidently POSOM was doing everything in his power to get exWW to cancel DS7's B-Day party and alienate her from her family. Ever sine exWW went to dinner with me and she went to her niece's b-day party at her mother's, POSOM has been on the warpath. In my conversation with exMIL, there will be no peace until POSOM moves on. He thrives on conflict and the only way he can keep exWW with him is to create conflict whether with me or members of her family.

On Sunday, we were supposed to swap the kids at 9am. ExWW was running very late so she ended up picking the kids up at 11:45. On her way up, I heard POSOM in the background in the car with her so I smelled a set up. We were supposed to meet at the local Burger King. Next to the Burger King is an Applied Bank and Internet Cafe that was open yesterday morning. So, I had exWW come into the bank branch to get the kids. That way everything was on video. Good thing too - POSOM was standing guard over exWW's car and was itching to start something. ExWW was clearly agitated that I wouldn't engage her. Oh well.

Thanks for the update PSU. Regarding this:
I don't know for sure if all waywards are like this, or if there are a subset of especially dangerous waywards with this thirst for conflict. The OW in my sitch fits this bill as well. Their affair is now over 3 years strong, living together 2 1/2 years. Constant battles alternating between me and OWH have kept it alive and well. When I withdrew into my modified Plan B, OW continued to wage war with OWH. It ended with her being charged with assault for running him over with her truck. He now has a restraining order against her and a court appointed IM. Before the "happy" couple had a chance to panic, I filed a suit against WXH in small claims court. Things were probably looking up for them, but as it turned out, the small claims process has smoothed over my communications with WXH and our rare meetings now are almost pleasant. So what did OW do? She is now taking OWH back to court claiming his assault charges (laid by police, not him, and included extra counts for when she hit him in the face with a candlestick and one other incident he'd recorded) were frivilous and merely a way to get back at her. She's goign for full control of visitations (read - he doesn't get any). It's stirred the bees nest again and now that it's back to them against the world, all's well in the love nest.

Dangerous, I tell you. I don't even want to think about that young girl's life which must be beyond hell. I'm just happy to be removed from it.

I think waywards do this to keep the flames burning. If there are no enemies, they will turn on each other. What's so freaky about exWW is when she is away for POSOM, she is a very different person. Heck, to this day she still says that I set POSOM when he was arrested for crimminal tresspassing. Like it was my fault that POSOM got in the car and drove to his father's place even though his father had a restraining against him.

As for the OW in your situation getting full visitation, good luck with that one. With the restraining order, the domestic violence custody factor is automatically in OWH's favor. So, OW would have to win at least one more custody factor over her exH to overturn custody. If she pleads guilty to the assault charges or is found guilty, she can pretty much kiss primary residency away due to the seriousness of the charges.


I also had a brief conversation with Sharpie last week. Turns out, he was hit pretty hard with a virus and had to spend a few days in the hospital. He's doing fine now but is understndably very tired from the events from the last few months. I told him folks were thinking about him and pop in sometime. Hopefully we'll hear from him soon.

**edit**

IMO, you're really lucky your exIL's understand this. You can have a united front that way that just may get rid of him.

Maybe on one of her calmer days, you might just mention this, in passing. Not about HER, of course, but about affairs in general. Get the wheels turning.

Here are some updates. I took the kids to the exMIL's for Halloween. We had a great time. Then, this past Sunday, I got a call from exWW and she was on the warpath because I took the kids to her mother's and she did not know about it.

Evidently, she is threatening to file a restraining order against her mother from seeing the kids because of alienation. She also threatened to call Child Protective Services on me as well. I told her to go ahead, make my day!

Yesterday we had a call to calendar with the judge to schedule the alimony hearing and other ancillary matters. THe judge asked what is outstanding and I told him alimony but it should be dismissed because exWW has been cohabitating since August, 2008. The judge asked exWW if she has been cohabitating - she said no and PSUBIKER is lying again!!!

I almost swallowed my tongue when she said this. This whole conversation was on the record and was recorded!

Trial date for alimony is set for 2/5/10. I have a lot of work to do to prove my exWW is living with the POSOM. I was a busy beaver yesterday - I filed three contempt charges against her.

1. Failure to pay her share of the kid's medical expenses as per the support order
2. Failure to pay her half of the daycare expenses as per the support order
3. Failure to pay my attorney fees for the false protection order she filed against me

My original plan was to just roll what she owes me into the assets settlement. But, I had a change of heart after I realized the time and frustration I'll be enduring to prove that she has POSOM living with her. I'm in pretty good shape with getting proof - with POSOM's arrest and guilty plea a few months ago there should be evidence there as well as what I am asking for in discovery. I'm also going to be on the hook for the transcript of one of the protection order hearings when he testified that he was her boyfriend and living with her.

IS she getting any mail at the same place he is? Those things are easy to establish cohab. Also, is it possible that one of them is paying the cable bill and another is paying the water bill for the same address? again, that's co-hab. Your situation totally SUX.
And add to that Penn State's abysmal performance this weekend, and I'd be in a bad mood, too!

What will they do with her if she is found guilty on these charges?

Does she still get to you with her tactics - or are you getting hardened to her?

And thanks for you regular update PSU!

Cohabitation IS easy to prove. As others have said, utility billing, witnesses who have been to their "home", heck if your kids are old enough, THEY might be able to tell the judge that mommy lives with POSOM. They're both idiots for thinking they can win this one.

Good for you on the contempt charges. Hope the Judge follows through.

Her tactics are just irritating as all get out. I'm anticipating another season of false accusations, grandstanding, etc. I sent her a request for documents today that has about 35 different items. She and POSOM are going to FLIP when they get it. I do have some pretty compelling evidence so far:
1. Vet bill addressed to POSOM sent to our house AFTER the separation date.
2. Bank statement from our business account showing above vet bill was paid from our business account
3. Sworn testimony from POSOM in 11/08 saying he was her boyfriend and living with her
4. Asked for her lease in MD - her landlord is a realtor so hopefully it has all people residing there
5. ExWW has said she is inelligible for food stamps due to the size of her retirement accounts. However, the forms she filed with the courts indicated she was receiving food stamps. ExWW has said to family members that POSOM was able to get food stamps with exWW and the kids as members of his household. I specifically asked for all aplications and statements for food stamps as indicated in her court filings. I also asked for any applications / statements for people who are claiming exWW and/or the kids as members of their household for food stamp purposes.
6. I also sent exWW a list of about 40 witnesses who I am considering for depositions / witnesses. I'll only call about 3-4 for the trial but I want to prevent exWW from thinking she can convince folks to go with her story. Included in the list: POSOM's mother, POSOM's daughter (20) and son (24), POSOM's ex wife, two of the women whom he had seduced and wrecked their lives , pretty much every close family member of exWW, DS7, all of exWW's former clients, several friends of exWW, and exWW's landlord.

POSOM is goinng to FLIP when he sees the list. But, he's the one who screwed around with a married woman. Not my problem.

The wheels on the Karma bus go round and round....

And it's bearing down on POSOM and your eWW...


I so hope that the judge will give you the custody that you so truly deserve.

>3. Sworn testimony from POSOM in 11/08 saying he was her boyfriend and living with her


This right here is enough.

You might also ask a friend to drive by at, say, midnight and take a pic of his vehicle out front. Do this a few times and make sure the pics are time/date stamped. We did this to POSVD(OW) to prove to housing and CPS she had a known druggie LIVING with her. Housing revoked her benes and made her move.

PSUBiker, what ever became of the trial from August?