Invite some friends over for an early Christmas party on Friday night. Spend the next few nights decorating for it.

That's a good idea. This Friday, however, I've been invited by one of the neighbors to attend a club event where H is playing in the band. They've held rehearsals there every week since we moved here, five years ago. I've never been invited anywhere with any of the neighbors.

This is the time to get to know them better.

ML, if you read this, I wonder if you might be willing to act as IM between WW and myself? I think with our common background, you might be the best person I've encountered here for that task.

PMs are disabled. If you wish, I will put my email address out here for us to talk about this offline.

Thx.

Hey Fred, shoot me an email at ohmelodylane@aol.com, please.

I ran the Richmond Monument 10K a couple of weeks before D-day in 2008. It was one of the qualifier races for the 1500 m for the 2008 US Olymic Team. There were something like 22k plus racers. It was a fun race - the first one I had run in many, many years.

Fred, I don't think you will spend as much time here after some period of time. I do think this site is a pretty good place to be when the pain is so new. Much better than most of the alternatives.

Your experiences are like so many here. I lost about 20 pounds on the infidelity diet and another 6 after my H broke contact last month. Oops - time to shop for new ski clothes. Darn.

AM

He's my oldest, dearest friend, a great guy from a family of 12. We smoked a lot of doobies as kids. Don't let him operate on you, though- there is the risk of acid flashbacks.

Fred,
there are some also a lot of happy stories that might be encouraging next time you get going on MB. The vets can suggest some, I'm sure. not2fun suggested I read toomuchtoosoon's thread which I started (on page 3 now) - it's 153 pages! Point: the last page alone was very encouraging and uplifting to me. it's called "it's over she's staying...." (i searched it like that).

don't runners sometimes have a down day after they run anyway? - seems like some of the endorphines would be depleted from the day's race before - just a thought.

I'm down 16 pounds to 165. food doesn't seem that interesting right now...

Hang in there. don't worry about not being sure about wanting her back right now, my guess is that's part of it - hopefully the vets will comment on that.

opt

Awesome! Congratulations!
I gave up trying to predict the future a while ago. So, you may be right. However, I have learned that gratitude is an action word, and the best way to show one's gratitude is to help someone else receive what you've been given. I may drift away after a while, but before I go, I hope can help someone else find solace, serenity and peace of mind.
As a runner, I like being lighter than I was. I'm 5'10" and now weigh 151 pounds. For years I hovered around 163. I've long thought my "ideal" running weight was 155. So now I'd like to gain just a few back...

I couldn't have said it better myself. Thanks for so succinctly summarizing what I have felt (and still do to some extent) for the last few years.

You've lost some innocence, Fred. This cheating thing does that to you and it is difficult to figure out how to conduct oneself down the road.
For me, I feel like now I have to be more vigilant and I resent that. Tough to balance wanting to trust and relax in a relationship with the need for vigilance. Who wants to be looking over his.her shoulder all the time or checking up on one's spouse.
For me, after all the info I have digested, I just feel that having a relationship is just not worth the cost. I have 5 kids, so the urge to procreate is satisfied.
I recently went on a golf trip with 7 other guys. Three were divorcing, and one was recently widowed. One guy lied to his wife about buying a Harely, recently.
Another guy told me tht he was just hanging in his marriage until his youngest finished HS and then he was out.
Seemed no one was happy being married. Maybe we all bought a bill of goods.

Mel is a kick-[censored] IM.

Yay!!! I was hoping ML would speak up. Pep, you were next on my list... seeing that you're retired now and all... lol

How you doing today Fred?

Hi Pepperband, thanks for asking!

I'm actually feeling pretty good today. I managed to get a real good night's sleep for a change. I slept from midnight to six, then rolled over and slept for another two hours. That last part is important, because I haven't been able to go back to sleep once I'm awake lately.

Taking my new Al-Anon sponsor's advice, I went to a noon meeting today. The first co-ed Al-Anon meeting I've ever attended (and only the sixth, overall). It turned out to be an Adult Child of Alcoholics meeting, and I belonged there. The topic was "restoring us to sanity," and I liked the perspective that it was a "process" and not an "event." Stuff I needed to hear, that's for sure!

Afterwards I went to my favorite restaurant for lunch, and had my favorite dish (Vietnamese pho). So, now I'm feeling rested, full and calm.

There is a saying in A.A.: Watch your HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired). Lately I've had all four (although the anger left about two weeks ago -- about the same time I arrived here and tried an "abbreviated" Plan A). Today, I'm feeling pretty good on all fronts.

Again, thanks for asking. I know this won't last forever, but it's a nice calmness (like the eye of the hurricane) even if for a short while.

I'm al-anon too.
I enjoy pho too.

New to Al-Anon. An oldtimer at pho.

Sometimes I need my [censored] kicked. You did mean me, didn't you?

OMG, the dysfunction at Redskins Park continues. First, it's learned that Clinton Portis is out for the remainder of the season (okay, I thought he was over the hill, anyway), but now the team has fired Shaun Suisham, the most accurate placekicker in team history (yes, even more so than Mark Mosely, the only kicker to be named league MVP) for missing a kick against the New Orleans Saints. They have replaced him with somebody from the "United Football League" (say what?).

This whole world is upside down. Not just my M, it seems.

What did he just say??