|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 4,698
Member
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 4,698 |
What she said
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 537
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 537 |
your a pure inspiration my dear. I hope some day to achieve what you have in such a short time!
Truth can stand on it's own two feet....A lie needs support....FRM
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643 |
Stronger, I�m a drunk just like any other drunk. I did something wrong and for my own recovery needed to clean it up. It was only right. On an interesting note for people who are hurting and don�t think the karmabus has it�s moment, this information may help you to have hope that G-d is taking care of us, even when we don�t really feel it or know it. Last night after I got home H and I were in the bedroom talking about nothing really while he was poking his hand on craigslist and came upon a false advertising of a S10 Blazer and how he knew that it was false. I asked him if he had bought the S10 Blazer with her that she drives and he said yes it was originally in both of their names and he paid half for it. Ok, I am overlooking the fact that he spent money jointly with her, but he did mention that supposedly she paid him back, but he doesn�t remember. He went on to tell me that afterwards he kept telling her to get it out of his name and have it in hers only. She didn�t do it and so he went online and took his name off the title. Interestingly, I�ve experienced this couple of times in conversations around her, as he explained the situation, there was such distaste in his words, comments and body. Which just always surprises me because it SO didn�t look that way on the outside; to me they appeared the HAPPY couple, soul mates, etc. So this morning, after having just the most awesome UA time in bed he sets off for his day, I set off for mine. I decide to pick up yesterdays mail and low and behold is a letter from an insurance company wanting over $2700.00 for an accident back in June and that because he didn�t have insurance he would now be driving on a suspended license until we cleaned it up financially and we can just pay it off in one lump sum or monthly payments of $250.00. Queenie, not skinsgal thinks to herself. Ok, we can take on another wreckage of our past, but funny how H didn�t mention it to me. So in my new spirit I call him and leave a message about the letter and ask him to call me so we can work on this together. Truly no big deal which is just so different for me because in the past I would have LB�d the whole way not to mention completely stress about it blah blah blah. He calls, I give info and he goes on to say that it�s not him, it�s her and he will call them and enlighten them. He texts me back, says the state didn�t update the information, the insurance company knows this has nothing to do with him and she now has ANOTHER accident on her record with NO insurance, driving on an already suspended license.. Please TRUST G-d.
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84 D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09 WH and OW broke up 1-09 Started over 7-09
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643 |
Love ya too Pep, :MerryChristmas:
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84 D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09 WH and OW broke up 1-09 Started over 7-09
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828 |
So this morning, after having just the most awesome UA time in bed he sets off for his day, I set off for mine. Glad you were able to keep your calm Queenie nature during what could have been a major LB reaction. While I'm happy that this interaction went well, the 'cautious' side of me needs to remind YOU to be cautious too! It's almost a bit too ironic that he was looking at the S10 on Craigslist and the next day you see a letter in 'yesterday's mail' about that very thing. Please don't get me wrong, I trust your judgement of the entire situation. You are there with him. You can see his reactions and evaluate them for yourself. Just be careful my dear. We know that there will be little bits of data come out from time to time about what went on that he hasn't specifically remembered to tell you about. It's bound to happen. Just don't let yourself overlook, perhaps, the reason for him sharing the information with you at a particular time (i.e. when there's a letter in the mail that will be bringing up the subject). Again, don't get me wrong, it is great that the 2 of you were able to talk and I totally give him credit for talking to you about the sitch! Ya, know what I'm trying to say, don't you??
BS (me) ExWS -Drac DD 9 DSS 15 D Day 11/06 Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643 |
Glad you were able to keep your calm Queenie nature during what could have been a major LB reaction. While I'm happy that this interaction went well, the 'cautious' side of me needs to remind YOU to be cautious too! It's almost a bit too ironic that he was looking at the S10 on Craigslist and the next day you see a letter in 'yesterday's mail' about that very thing Ok, I'll be honest, that hadn't even occured to me it was a set up. Actually the letter never said it was the S10 involved, so I first thought it was HIS suburban. It was only after I gave him the information did it say it was her, not him. One other note... he looks are cars all the time on craiglists, he actually looks on craiglists all the time. I will say it's a habit he picked up from her He wasn't just looking at those cars, but it was when he commented on how the add was wrong that I started asking him questions. Ok.... so having been totally blindsided by the A, I would NEVER say it's a ruse and not possible. Nor would it hurt to know that it was. I can only promise to keep my eyes and ears open and my mouth shut to see how it plays out. Thanks Bugs for the reminders....
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84 D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09 WH and OW broke up 1-09 Started over 7-09
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,455
Member
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,455 |
Queenie, don't beat yourself up. We all take steps...some are baby, some are in the wrong direction but eventually we stay on the right path. This was your first post here: First and foremost I am standing for my marriage. I truly believe that this is the path that G-d is directing me to take. I am proud of my Judaism, but this is a spiritual battle that I am willing to go to any lengths to fight. You have been fighting the good fight ever since. I admire your courage, faith and strength. :happyhanukkah:
Last edited by hope3343; 12/16/09 04:35 PM.
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years D17, D30 alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08 Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also) H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08 Plan B 1/09 D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643 |
Thanks Hope... G-d how I remember that time so well and how truly comitted I was. Someone emailed me a side of what Bugs was saying that I didn't get. Not that it was a set up to blind side me, but "finding a way to tell me of something he hadn't talked to me about before". I have told him and TRULY mean this... There is NOTHING he can tell me that would have me walk away from our M today. Ok, one thing... that he needed me to let him go because he needed to find himself. And not because it was an A, but because the demon in his closet were too much for him to deal with. I know I haven't explained this well at all, but I understand and that's good enough for me. We all take steps...some are baby, some are in the wrong direction but eventually we stay on the right path. HEY, is this where life is a dance came from.
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84 D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09 WH and OW broke up 1-09 Started over 7-09
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 1,399
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 1,399 |
I love reading about the normal-ness of your everyday togetherness. You're a family doing family things. You have struggles like many do, and you're dealing with them like some unfortunately don't.
I stand as I always am with you... Impressed.
Me (FWW): 45 BH: 46 M: 11/94 PA: 2/08 (4 mos) Confessed: 10/08 DS10 DD8
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,149
Member
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,149 |
Hi Queenie and L4(JT waving from the valley under the brightly lit cross)
Is tomorrow your last day at school/work Queenie? I'd love to get together during the break with both of you. Let me know if you have any time to hang out. Email would be best.
Love ya' both!
johnstwin-
"I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future." -Martin Luther
Remarried my FXH 25 years to the day of our first M. God is so good-and sometimes so unexpected!
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643 |
Hi L4 and JT, Ordinary life.... I LOVE the sound of that. What about the 29th of December. I am going to be up in Woodinville and we can meet earlier? Shabbat Shalom, :happyhanukkah: TGIF Everyone.... I posted this on Hopes thread, but it's just too priceless. A dad just called and wants to deliver flowers to his daughter because she just started her period.
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84 D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09 WH and OW broke up 1-09 Started over 7-09
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 6,058
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 6,058 |
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643 |
:MerryChristmas: everyone
:MerryChristmas: to those who took the time to love on me when I couldn't even get up the desire to live.
:MerryChristmas: Smartiepants, Mimi, Mark, TooMuchTooSoon, Lil, Johnstwin, sexymamabear, ChaiLover, silentlucidity, lunarmare, Bugsmom, Looking4, Jamesus, princessmeggy, Believer, hopenpray, not2fun, schoolbus, cinderella, Kickme, Big Kahuna, LousyGolfer, Jean, Vladi, Pariah, tst, Pepperband, Melody, SIHW, Mr and Mrs. Wondering, Lala, Angie1718, JustLearning, LovingAnyway, Tabby, Marshmallow, Exodus, Zorro94, iwontquit, Freetobeme1970, weaves, needtruth, Hope3343, Holyheart, Chrysalis, Miss M, LilSis, righttherewaiting, sdguy038, SerenitySoon, Going_Forward, mojodiva, StillHurting01, Stillsame, ForeverHers, Reasonance, JustPeachy08, Strivn4Better, LostPixie, Mopey, Mulan, My1stLove, staytogether, stillhere8126, Please Help, Fred, StrongerthanB4, Verve, Neak, MarriedForever,
Ok... I'll be back after I go shopping, deliver presents and see who else I might have forgotten. Enjoy your Christmas Eve everyone.
Hugs to you Pep.... How's retirement going BTW
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84 D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09 WH and OW broke up 1-09 Started over 7-09
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871
Member
|
Member
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871 |
Love you Queenie. Happy Holidays and have a wonderful new year!
Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,390
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,390 |
Love you Queenie. Happy Holidays and have a wonderful new year! Ditto for me. You are one special person girl.
BS - me 56 XWH - 57
12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.
6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.
9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented WH wants nothing to do with me
Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643 |
We are ALL special. We are all UNIQUE and we are all G-ds greatest miracles.
You HEAR me Chai....
Tonight, was a miracle night. For those of you who were around for my 1st Christmas without H, my sons took me to the movies and then as a gift took me around to see the lights. Since we are Jewish, we don't do lights, but we LOVE looking at the lights and it was always a tradition. I will NEVER forget my boys for that gift.
Tonight, H and I went to AA meeting and on the way home he took me around for the lights. Just the two of us. It was so incredibly awesome. But one more special thing about that. He and OW didn't go look at lights, so this got to remain something special between just us and our family.
Thank you so much G-d for the continued blessings you reveal to me each and every day. I love you so very much and am so grateful for the work you do in my life.
Merry Christmas everyone. Sleep well and enjoy your special day.
Chai, I want to HEAR about that DATE.... Just have FUN....
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84 D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09 WH and OW broke up 1-09 Started over 7-09
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 674
Member
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 674 |
Hi there Queenie!!!
I'm so glad to hear that you are happily recovered in your marriage....I don't know what made me come here today but I'm glad I did.I don't have internet access anymore at home and work keeps a tight rein on us...I'm hoping to reconnect at home soon and will have more time to chat.
In short...my xh is still married to ow,was 1 year on the 21st dec...but Believer was soooo right...my kids have major issues with her and 1 of her kids,also his business which he started with ow,is in trouble...he is in debt bigtime....he is stressed to the eyeballs!!!
I am fine and getting on with my life.There isn't a man in my life although I'm not really interested...I would still like my xh back!!...crazy I know!! We do speak civilly to each other but I prefer to keep a low profile...He does know how I feel about him and our marriage though. Our last conversation,about 1 week ago,he told me all about his problems and I just listened...I think he needed to vent...this went on for 1 hour!!Finally I said he could come home and he said "his head is spinning right now he can't think of that and he doesn't want to hurt me "
Anyway his sister and her family are staying with me ands the kids for christmas and we are having fun....I'm working the morning shift at the moment 8am-1pm then going home to celebrate Christmas.I have so much to tell you...but first I'm going to catch up on you thread!!
It really feels good to be back here!...I never thought I would,to many painful memories
BS;ME43,WH45 DS19,DS16 DDay:6Dec06 WH left12Dec06 DIV:3Dec08 WH marries OW 21days later!
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643 |
Hope, OMG
I was just thinking about you last night and hoping you were ok and what was happening in your life.
Gosh girl, I have missed you so much. Let's try and figure out a way to exchange emails and more private. I'll email the moderators and give them my email to pass onto you.
I MISS you so much. You sound good, I was so worried. I'm glad it's just not internet. You actually sound really good.
We are off to the movies, but I'll check back later and wait till we can really talk between us and get the real scoop.
It feels good to have you back. Yes, the memories are painful, but girl there are a lot of people who need you if you have time. Your sense of humor, your care and love.
I love you so much, I'm so glad you came stopped in. Merry Christmas, have a sweet and awesome day and let's hook up soon.
Queenie
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84 D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09 WH and OW broke up 1-09 Started over 7-09
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
2 members (doseedo, 1 invisible),
533
guests, and
40
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|