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Your poor poor WH.
A lost lamb.

Here's my not-funny reply.

WH cannot believe his life has become this much of a suck-fest.
He feels like a loser and a failure.
He feels "things" have gotten so bad and so broken there is "no hope".

He is all about his feelings (sad/anger/sad/anger) , and there is actually very little thinking with rational logic going on.

BACK to YOU ... what wonderful lifting things have you got planned for today?

Name 3.

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MF- unfortunately my IM do not have a cell phone. They barely go on the internet and their home phone is the only way to contact them. They generally don't go out much so they can get messages and respond within a couple of hours. The thing is WH hasn't even called ONCE so he is trying to circumvent them completely. That makes me MAD. I feel a bit disrespected by this. I mean WH is the one who has caused me so much pain and he seems to be okay with causing me further pain by contact.

I was VERY clear that I couldn't have contact with him because I was being hurt by adultery and I couldn't allow myself to be hurt anymore. He is simply thinking about how to ease HIS pain and who cares who it affects.

The IM's email is sent. The ball is in his court, let's hope he runs with it. If he doesn't that isn't my fault though. I have given him ground rules to this situation and if he doesn't want to follow these 3 simple things (NC with me while he has a girlfriend, contact IM for visitations not previously determined and that he is not to enter the house) then it isn't my fault.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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Well, let's see. I think I will make PANCAKES for LUNCH. YEP breakfast for LUNCH. The boys will help me make them. DS6 LOVES to cook.

Then I think video games where they will kick my butt cuz I SUCK.

A walk in the dusting of snow we got overnight. Maybe go to 7-11 for Hot chocolate.

Then tonight we will cuddle up on the couch with blankets and popcorn and watch a movie.

Sounds good.

Oh and last night, we went to the Olympic Torch celebration in our city. It was a blast. I found myself so caught up in the moment that we were laughing and singing and dancing. We had a BLAST and it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to see the Olympic Flame. Memories I make sure to make with DS x2 that will last a lifetime.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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Excellent!

I saw the Olympic torch when it went through Los Angeles ... in Chinatown.
Hilarious place to be ... dancing dragons .... clowns on unicycles ... drag queens .... this is LaLa land, after all. lashes

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Scotty--

Disrespected and anger are exactly the right emotions for the situation you are in. So by that barameter, I would say you are doing EXCELLENT!

Scotty -- I was a wayward. So I know that your WH thought he could manipulate the situation to his advantage. He thought by giving you that date out in February, that he was giving you time to adjust. He thought that you would be calm, and content with the decision by then. He thought that you would be a friendly co-parent, and that you would be happy with those little scraps. He thought he would basically keep the status quo at home (he just wouldn't sleep there anymore). He thought his "home" would remain intact (all his tools, possessions, etc. in their place) Hardly any disruption at all.

You really shook up his world. He's going to rage and rail at these changes! He never wanted a taste of divorce world, because he thought that would never apply to him.

He really thought he could keep you in place.

In actuality, when February came he probably would have extended it out further -- because you see, he was really quite satisfied with having both a wife and a girlfriend.

He of course had to make it LOOK like he was leaving you -- because OW probably threw some ultimatums his way. He has probably made her all sorts of promises about them being together *forever!* (blechhhh!)

I'm so glad you have a little "handful" in DS6. There is nothing like a big ol dose of kid-initiated reality for OW.
I forget -- does she have any children?

There was one poster here a few years back that I thought was REALLY on the right track! She was in a great Plan A. Her husband was involved with a young OW. BW actually suggested to her WH that he should have nearly FULL custody of their 4 daughters for a little while (to help them adjust!)......hehehe. He had thought he was going to have the life of a rock star -- partying with this young little thing. Instead BW got the lifestyle he thought he was gonna have, and he was tied down with an unhappy OW, and 4 raging pre-pubescent girls!

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Lex is correct.

Quote
In actuality, when February came he probably would have extended it out further -- because you see, he was really quite satisfied with having both a wife and a girlfriend.

In Feb he would have told OW:

"I can't move out right now. My boys need me to (insert blah blah blah) and the wife is about to have a nervous breakdown because (blah blah blah).

Truth is, WHs usually desire to FREELOAD the OW (their 20%) but don't actually want to be the BUYER in that relationship.


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Lexxxy- thanx for that sitch of that other poster. That gave me a good LOL moment. Yes OW has a D11. Her father is not involved at all and that one fateful night when I called OW she tried to hurt me by saying she will get pregnant by WH and that her DD already calls my WH "Daddy". I know she was trying to hurt me but why would I care what OW D11 called my WH?

As far as what my WH wanted I have stated it like this. His sitch last week was Family with GF on the side. He was just gonna flip it and have GF with Family on the side.

I also think you are right that he has been making her promises.

I know that he was trying to make me happy enough. He knows that the kids are my world and that they mean everything to me. I, like many mothers, make supreme sacrifices to make sure they get their needs met. WH knows this all too well and I believe was using this. I am still thinking about them just in a different way.

They need a mom who is strong and emotionally stable. They deserve to feel safe from harm, especially in their own home. They are entitled to a HAPPY Mom to share laughs with and create the basis of family that they will carry in to their own marriages. This is what I am giving them by doing what I am in my current situation.

SEE? I really am feeling better about the whole situation and that scares me a little. I feel like I should have been more upset about WH leaving. I guess my head has taken over for now so I see the positives instead.

Last edited by Scotland; 12/21/09 01:14 PM.

BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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Quote
her DD already calls my WH "Daddy"

Oh good, she's really, really STUPID !
Dollars to donuts your WH is not the first man DD11 has called "daddy".

If this is true (and if it is, this is one really stupid OW), your sons will NOT take kindly to a stranger's child taking over their daddy.

Never confront her again, her stupidity is going to become WH's reality puke


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Ironic isn't it? Your WH probably felt sorry for OW. The poor single woman having to do it all on her own....

And he just put his own family into that very category.

* * *

Anyways Scotty, go out and have some fun! It sounds like you already are!

On the evenings that your sons are with BH -- go out with some girlfriends! Take really excellent care of yourself...

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DON'T worry Pep, I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO over HER.

I did make a comment though. I said, "I really don't care what your daughter calls him. But are you sure she shouldn't be calling him "UNCLE" since I am sure she has had A LOT of those." Not my finest moment but it felt good at the time.

I don't think she is just stupid, I also think she is really IMMATURE. Well, I hope they have FUN together. LOL


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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Lexxxy- funny you said that because that is exactly what I told WH when he first told me he was leaving me.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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Hi Scottie!

I just read about the Olympic torch festival you attended and am wondering if you are a "neighbor"? I live in the northwest corner of Washington AC (above California)in the Skagit Valley, less than an hour from the border-BC area.

Hang in there-you are doing great!


johnstwin-

"I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future." -Martin Luther

Remarried my FXH 25 years to the day of our first M. God is so good-and sometimes so unexpected!

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Hi Johnstwin - I doubt Scotland is your neighbour. The Olympic torch is currently making its rounds through Ontario. It was in my city on Saturday, so I think she might live close to me!

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Originally Posted by Scotland
As far as what my WH wanted I have stated it like this. His sitch last week was Family with GF on the side. He was just gonna flip it and have GF with Family on the side...
EGG-Zactly

Originally Posted by Scotland
..I said, "I really don't care what your daughter calls him. But are you sure she shouldn't be calling him "UNCLE" since I am sure she has had A LOT of those." Not my finest moment but it felt good at the time.
Rofl

Boy I hope that he has a sense of humor and can laugh at his foolishness if he comes back.

You guys could use a laugh together


Me 56 Former BS
Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years.
4 children
DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4
Me former BS
DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr
DSs 26 and 23
Teilhard de Chardin..“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” ...Sounds about right to me.
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Tabby1- well I guess since it was Saturday that I went to see the torch we just might be neighbours. (especially since we both spelled neighbour with a U hehehehehe) I live in a well-known Canadian city. It's neighbour is an equally well-known city for the same natural wonder ;D Just in case anyone didn't get it, yes, it is Niagara Falls.

The boys watched Home Alone on TV today. They absolutely loved it, but why not because it is a story about a little boy who gets to stay home alone. I forgot how funny that movie is.

WH talked to the boys tonight and I walked out of the room and sat in the bathroom. After they hung up, DS9 said "Daddy wants me to pass on a message." I simply said "No". He said "But Daddy wants to know about Christmas." I said "he needs to talk to IM buddy not pass messages through you and your brother." I then said "You will see Daddy Saturday."

I know that is a long time but if WH doesn't talk to IM that is the first time he is supposed to see them.

Well, I can't feel guilty about that because I haven't asked for outlandish things for him to do. It is quite simple really. OH NO is that a DJ? Even if it is, I am not saying it to him I am saying it about him. ;D

Last edited by Scotland; 12/21/09 07:54 PM.

BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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Originally Posted by Pepperband
Excellent!

I saw the Olympic torch when it went through Los Angeles ... in Chinatown.
Hilarious place to be ... dancing dragons .... clowns on unicycles ... drag queens .... this is LaLa land, after all. lashes
Cool!

My H was one of the runners of the torch about 10 years ago. Cool stuff.

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rotflmao The Man from Uncle rotflmao


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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I know I am NOT supposed to read text messages but this one was right on the front of my phone when I looked at it. It was from WH and it said "There is something wrong with the answering machine." HAHAHAHAHAHA Yea do you think? It's UNPLUGGED. HAHAHAHAHA He tried to call 6 times but the boys didn't answer the phone and I was in the shower. I told them they can answer when it is Daddy but I guess they didn't want to.

Had a nice walk around the neighbourhood looking at all of the Christmas lights. Now we are watching Ant Bully.



BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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Originally Posted by Scotland
"There is something wrong with the answering machine." HAHAHAHAHAHA Yea do you think? It's UNPLUGGED. HAHAHAHAHA

[Linked Image from i39.photobucket.com]


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Hahahahaha on the answering machine.

About a month before I went to plan B, I got caller ID added to our landline. WH knew it and I told him how cool it was to see that telemarketers were calling and who called while everyone was out.

Well, he didn't figure out it was actually so I would know when it was HIM when he left! Took him a long time to realize I could tell it was him. I am not sure he has figured it out yet...lol.

Gotta laugh as humorous stuff to counterbalance the not funny parts!







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