Traci, glad to hear you enjoyed your party....we BS' spend a lot of time sad and depressed so we need to offset that as much as we can with doing things that make us happy....

I just want everyone to know that I only had one drink last night but I am a a light weight as my oldest daughter likes to say. Just respond to that comment that she should be proud that I am a light weight and not a drunk/alcoholic. I just don't normally drink. Well at least I am a cheap date. Noticed that I can't get either DD to call me back to discuss the puppy issue. Probably will be introduced to the new "grandchild" tomorrow. I am so glad I feel better today after the rotten day I had on Friday. I have just 2 more things to get for my DDs for Christmas and just some stocking stuffers for the girls. I think I will get my Boston Terrier a sweater for Christmas, she keeps acting cold when I come home from work and the house is comfortable.

I am a nervous wreck now. As I was getting ready to leave the hospital I got a phone call from my WH(I have a special ring tone just for him). I did not answer it. It went to voicemail. There was a message and I had to check it and it was just background noise. No voices at all and I could hear his truck dinging and other noises. I was shaking because I was a little scared and a lot nervous. All I could think of was he was at my home. I wasn't fooling myself into thinking he was coming home. This call was not an accident because you have to unlock the phone to dial it. I could also hear his breathing. I don't know what to do. When I got home my DD 19 had left the internet up under her name and he was on too,but when I go on I don't see him. He has got it to where he doesn't show up on my list. I don't care. I was shaking until I got home.

((Traci))
Just as you misinterpreted the "save your mortgage"text message (I get those all the time, btw!), it's possible this is a butt-dial.
Seriously.
I have a lock on my phone, but sometimes I forget to lock it when I hang up and I end up butt dialing someone. There's nothing on this message that makes me think it's anything but an accidental dial.
H will probably be mortified when he realizes he did this--not knowing what he said, etc., while the phone was recording

Now I know what to tell my H when I get all those phone calls from him!

My dau has a lock on her celly and STILL butt dials me all the dern time.

(((Traci)))

The only way I can butt dial is if I just hung up the phone. Everytime I want to call someone I have to unlock mine. It locks automatically. My WH phone is the same and he keeps it in his hip case. He has never butt dialed me or anyone else I know. Well, if he did butt dial me at least he still has me on speed dial and since he is a creature of habit I bet he didn't change the speed dial number which means that voice mail is #1 and I am #2 on his phone. Wonder if OW knows this. I know something else, if OW was with him last night they were not talking.
oh well, I am going to finish my bedroom today and clean the house in preparation of my parents coming her in 2 days.

I keep my cell in a hip case and I lock it, but if I'm bending over in the car to get something under the seat, I guess you could call it a love-handle dial, cuz I've done it. Mine usually locks automatically, but if I'm texting and I close it while the text is still sending, it doesn't lock.
Basically, there are a million reasons why this could have happened. He didn't threaten you or anything, so don't worry about it. You have other things to keep your focus on!!!
Look in the mirror and smile at yourself, for starters!!!!!

Besides the butt/hip/lovehandle dialing incident, you sound like your doin great.

Did you consider advertizing.."Will move furniture for a beer" anywhere ?

Glad your a lightwieght drinker and heavyweight fighter for yourself

I got finished painting my bedroom and got the furniture where I want it. Had to take my bed completely apart to move it and the headboard still weighs about 75# and is huge. I almost landed under it. It actually fell back on the wall and I had to get under it and push it back up. All I could think was I am glad that all my insurance money is left to my 2 daughters and WH would be left with paying the house and he couldn't make the payments and would lose it. He would have to make my car payments too. Boy, he would be so screwed if I die. Except for the dying part I would enjoy all of that. All I have left to do is shampoo the carpet.
Going to the movies tomorrow with a friend of mine to see AVATAR. Can't wait to go. Going to see it in 3-D and heard that some of the scenes an make you nauseous.

Good for you for getting all that done. Do not plan on dying to make H miserable. Please!
Have fun at the movies!
blessing

You might want to check out this article.

Thanks Fred, for the article, I will try that out at the movies. I also don't plan on dying to make WH miserable, Atena, I think just being here is enough for now. If I could figure out a way to make his life a living h--l without getting caught I would, but I guess just being here and doing great is enough for now. I bet it gets his goat that I don't answer any of his texts or calls.

Tracy, don't count on H having any feelings about us. They picked OW remember? The fact that we do not communicate with them is a relief for them. It might irritate your H you do not answer his messages, but still he is with OW.
A friend of mine whose H had an A and R after 5 years said that H felt relieved when she left him after finding out he was having A. He admitted it to her with shame, but he said: yes, when you left I felt a great sense of freedom and relief, I was finally able to see OW whenever I wanted without having to lie, sneak and pretend. I no longer had to deal with you and your moods and problems. It felt good till it didn't anymore. Then I knew I made a mistake.
But it took him more than a year to call her back with an excuse and tell her he made a mistake. She did not take him back right away. They dated for a while. Then she moved to another city. They kept in touch. Finally after a total of 5 years after D day they moved back in together. They have no kids and she is 12 years older than he is. You never know.
However not all M R so do not count on karma or h*ll for H.
We have to think they are no longer part of our life and live accordingly.
blessings

The only problem is, Atena, is that he wants to stay in touch and be friends and I didn't. He would be just happy to have me around. He is still trying or he wouldn't have text me about coming over to look at my internet. I am the one who cut off all contact with WH not him and it pissed him off when I did.

> it pissed him off when I did.

Cos you denied him his fantasy of having two women dote upon him.

WAHHHH!

You mean Traci! Taking away his cake like that!

My WH also wanted to be "friends", but I think it was more for the fact that his guilt would be releived in some way, like "Look BS is over it, so everyone else can get over it too." His ultimate fantasy was to live down in our basement, still seeing OW but with his family upstairs, one big happy family."

I used to think the "we can still be friends" line was just something women used to ease the pain of a break up. Now I see it for what it really is: A con job.

If my M winds up in a D, I will be in Plan B for the rest of our lives.

Me too, Fred.

I was SO thankful to spell this out to WW -- and for the new folks out there, DISPEL the fantasy divorce/separation EARLY. Once I felt that it had been clearly communicated, I wasn't worried about Plan A stuff being MISINTERPRETED as "TB is fine with all of this going forward -- he's being nice to me, and considerate."

It could potentially be rebutted with, "It's too bad you're so angry" crud, but we have seen and heard far too many examples/reoommendations from experienced, intelligent, and thought-provoking MB old-timers regarding the misnomer about "being good friends" with an ex.

And yes, it's about the WS relieving guilt. And no, that ain't in my job description.....

Thanks,
TB