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I just thought of something funny that you said that is kind of on point. DS9 told me that they ate NACHOS for dinner. They had chocolate cake and slurpees and played video games all night. Would that quantify as carnival food the yak lady would serve? Disney-dad on a budget anyone? I have to laugh to keep from crying.

My WH really was a good dad until he started his A. He had a great relationship with them and now POOF he threw it all away for HIS "happiness". Well, maybe he will realize it is not so Happy like this. AHHHHHHHHH frustrating wayturds.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

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ITA with Mel, and I'm glad you're digging the trenches for a stand on this.

The overall legal results are important, yes, but far more crucial is your fight to keep them away from OW. Your fight shows with actions that you don't accept what their dad is trying to do to them.

That is priceless.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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I know Neak. I just mean I want to make sure he can't keep them from ME and their home. I don't trust him to do what is best for them. I need to get the agreement signed and then I will take this advice whole-heartedly. If he doesn't sign the agreement then I will do it anyways and brace for impact.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH why is it that it seems that everything on tv tonight has something to do with affairs or D? I was watching Seinfeld and it was the one where George sleeps with a MW. Then I watch Till Death and it is the one where his parents are gonna get a D. Now I watch Friends and it is the one where Chandler is in Tulsa and the girl hits on him. There was also Numbers where a cop tells of the affair she had with her M partner. There were a few other ones that I didn't even watch because I realized there were triggers right away. NOT FUN.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

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I still find that when watching a show that has anything in it with adultery or leaning that way, I get a twinge.
I don't know if that ever goes away????

It's amazing just how many plots have A's in them.


M'd 22 years
BW-me
D-Day 08/08 LTA


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It really says something about society that in sitcoms they would use this over and over again. Most of the time it is just laughed about and hidden. It always bothered me but now it is worse. How can we expect our children to hold M near and dear when they are inundated with this all of the time.

I guess the better question is how do we not have horrible values when we were inundated with this stuff ourselves? I was raised with a good sense of family(all be it a dysfunctional one). I have a good sense of self and who I am and who I want to be and that is the legacy I plan on giving my children.



BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

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Funny - my family (parents, brothers and their wives) got into a conversation about politics and entertainers. My little bro idolizes Toby Keith - "true patriot" in his mind.

I made the crack about his glorifying adultery with his Mexico song... He brought up the booze and the drinking in the industry - and I said something about a patriot doesn't glorify something that attacks the fundamental basis of society - the family.

My mom- the one with a history of adultery sticks up for my POV and says - hey - if you take down the family you take down the country. So a true patriot doesn't glorify adultery. period.

Wow. Just wow!

Guess Toby Keith's Mexico song better get deleted from little bro's play list!!

LOL!

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Well, day 2 of WH visiting with DSx2. Today he is taking them to his mother's house for Christmas. SIL will be there with the OM who broke up her M and their 2 kids. WH may bring POSOW to the festivities as well. MIL just says that she doesn't get involved in this kind of thing. Well, how could she when she cheated on FIL and FIL cheated on her too. WH and SIL used to say they would NEVER have an A because of their childhood. Time to break the cycle and show my boys what M should really be about. It's gonna be a long journey but I have to make it.

Here's hoping everyone has a HAPPY BOXING DAY laugh


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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I have been following your story, Scotland and I admire your strength. I pray a good day for you and a safe return of your boys.

Can you please tell me what Boxing Day is. (-:

God's Blessings,

Say


Me, BW-57
FWH 54
4 kids and 4 grandbabies between us
In recovery since D-day, May 28,2007
FWH never onboard the MB boat but still clinging to the side.
One day at a time by God's grace.
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saynomore-Boxing Day is a holiday from England. In Canada we also celebrate it. It used to be a holiday like Christmas where all of the stores were closed and you spent time with your family. Now it has turned into a CRAZY shopping day where people go to stores and shop for bargains. My DS9 used to think it was a day where you would fight people. Oh children are funny sometimes. laugh


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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Say Scot old girl..

Where did the term "boxing" come from old bean?

Do say before tea-time what?

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Originally Posted by Scotland
I just thought of something funny that you said that is kind of on point. DS9 told me that they ate NACHOS for dinner. They had chocolate cake and slurpees and played video games all night. Would that quantify as carnival food the yak lady would serve? Disney-dad on a budget anyone? I have to laugh to keep from crying.

My WH really was a good dad until he started his A. He had a great relationship with them and now POOF he threw it all away for HIS "happiness". Well, maybe he will realize it is not so Happy like this. AHHHHHHHHH frustrating wayturds.

Yeah , the term Disney-dad gets used a lot here and it fits well.

I was of course using the "carnival food" as a metaphor for what the children would be taking in as examples in living but its not surprizing that they got fed that food.

When my wife tried to get our two boys,(18 and 14),to accept her BF they tried to buy and sell their way into their hearts by taking them to resorts and fancy restaurants. It was torture for me. I had allways wanted to take my family to those places and now after years of work and sacrifice, this idiot was going to look like a hero?
Well it didn't work. Children see through that stuff more than we think. People in general and especially our children trust and respect what others suffer through for them more than the easy way out. Especially when it comes to promises. They know that you don't run away from fighting for who you love.

Yes it is frustrating, I accually felt sorry for the OM. Yes guys I know that he was a POS getting his rocks off screwing another mans wife and she was soaking in the drugs and rebelious behavior she felt so entitled to. I just felt sorry for him because he was a coke-head successful businessman who bought my WW line. He believed that my WW loved him and depended on him and he was her savior. GEEEZZZ for Gods sake WW.. The "poor little cinderella" crap lol. Its amazing how many guys will believe that or just pretend(or want) to anyways.

Don't let it get ya down Scotty, "The reactas CAN take the sta-dain"

Yeah and what kind of hairdo does the POSOW have? Maybe one that would hide the horns?


Me 56 Former BS
Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years.
4 children
DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4
Me former BS
DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr
DSs 26 and 23
Teilhard de Chardin..“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” ...Sounds about right to me.
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Quote
DS9 told me that they ate NACHOS for dinner. They had chocolate cake and slurpees and played video games all night.

So, I take it you provide scrumptuous, healthy, balanced meals and stick to consistent bed-times when they're home?
Like plan A-ing your WH indirectly through them - in a good way, not manipulatively.

Because....let's face it, even kids get sick of chocolate cake and slurpees. And as pointed out above, kids see through the bullsh!t. WH will feel be feeling the strain.

------Only throwing it out for consideration/discussion. I don't know from plan B except what I've read here.

Scot, you're still a hero. I love reading your thread. It's life-affirming.

opt


Me: 43 y.o. BFWH, D-day 11/11/09 (NC since 9/01)
Divorce from WW final 9/16/10.
Current Status: MB-based Marriage to Nature Girl 12/8/12 (first date on 12/11/10)
Mine: S(16), D(11)
NatureGirls: S(23), D(21)
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I of course do not always have totally balanced meals here. The worst thing I would do would make breakfast for dinner to which WH would say "French Toast for dinner?" He used to make a big deal when once in a while (like when we were going somewhere on a trip) we would stop at a donut shop and the kids would ask for a donut and he would say "No donuts for breakfast." I just wanted to make the point that he was trying to "buy" them. Not making them eat correctly and letting them play video games all evening.

Wh even emailed them and said that they looked so cute playing games. I let my kids have treats every once in a while. They even get to stay up past their bedtime sometimes, but I can't do that everytime they are with me. I have to be the bad guy.

Wow, I just totally remembered something that I said to WH about a year ago. You see, I have known that OW existed for 2 years. I talked to her on the phone and saw her a few times and talked to her. I used to tell my WH that it felt like OW and I were HIS parents. I was his mom who would have to make him eat his veggies, take a bath, do homework and go to school. OW was like a part time dad who said "You want cake for dinner? Why not! Oh and play video games all day? Go ahead! Bedtime? what's that?" I was trying to tell him that I was the one who had to live regular life with him with responsibilities and she got to live the weekend kind of life. Wow, did I ever peg that one.

Worked 5 hours today at the ZOO(major retailer on boxing day in Canada) Time went by slowly but at least I didn't sit at home missing my family.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

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I love french toast lol would def eat it for supper

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Well, the boys are home safe and sound(not that I expected anything different). At least there was no close encounter of the POSOW kind today. There was a bit of an incident though. Nothing serious just a misunderstanding. DS9 came on to the porch and said "Daddy has to bring some stuff on the porch that I couldn't carry. I said, "okay wait for me to get in the house." He did but then I closed the house door. Didn't want to see WH. DS6 started crying that he wanted to come in the house not wait on the porch. He started crying. I wasn't going on to the porch or saying anything. Then WH came on the porch and said "Let him in the house for F sakes" (WH never started swearing A LOT until about 6 months ago and I even noticed and pointed it out to him)Well It wasn't me that was not letting him in. DS9 had told DS6 to wait for Daddy to say good bye. But WH thought I had locked the door and not let him in. Like I didn't want to just go outside and hug them and kiss them and make sure they were safe. Well, I almost broke NC and said "It wasn't me." But instead I just stood behind the door. DS6 came in and that was that.

Last edited by Scotland; 12/26/09 09:12 PM.

BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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AHHHHHHHH STUPID WAYTURDS. He broke a promise to DS9 again tonight. I hate that because I am the one who has to comfort him. WH left 1 hour and 10 minutes ago and told DS9 that he would email him as soon as he got home. Well it only takes 30 minutes MAX to drive there so now DS9 went to bed with no email as promised. He kept looking and didn't want to go to bed until he received one. I told him he could check first thing in the morning. AHHHHHHHHH must be nice to be a wayturd and have no consequences to your actions.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

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Originally Posted by Scotland
AHHHHHHHHH must be nice to be a wayturd and have no consequences to your actions.
But Scottie, there are consequences to WH's actions: little by little he is destroying the esteem in which his children (should) hold him.

My WW's kids all love their mom. But they have absolutely no respect for her! And as they get older, they will likely want to have less and less to do with her. Then, when she's in her 60s and 70s, and they are young adults, she'll be left with no one coming to visit. Perhaps a perfunctory text message that says, "I love you mom." Just like the ones she's sending them today...


Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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OMG. so I thought that I pulled myself out of his drama and what happens? Well, DS9 asked if he could email Daddy and remind him about seeing him tomorrow. This is part of our arrangement of visitation. Well, I read his response(I know I shouldn't have but I am glad I did). He said that he something to do tomorrow and will not be here. WTF? I am scheduled to go to work every Sunday and WH knows that. He said that we both need each other to work to keep the kids in this house, etc.

Well, I had to call my Mom to see if she can watch the kids. I absolutely HATE having to rely on people but it isn't like I could call in sick. I need the money to feed and clothe my kids.

I was so angry at him when I called my Mom and then what happened? I got angry at my Mom. She agreed to watch the kids for me and even give me a ride to work if I needed it. But what did I get mad about? Her negative attitude(she called it giving me a dose of reality) She keeps telling me that WH will never be who he was ever again. That I can't keep telling myself that he will come back because he most likely won't and I have to be realistic. I can't keep hoping and thinking he will come back it is not good for me.

I was actually yelling at her because she wouldn't let me talk to her. I explained that I couldn't let my WH cake eat just like she was doing because I didn't want to be where my Dad is in a year and a half. I told her that I had to show WH what life would be like without me. He needs to see what is going to happen.

I think that this little stunt he pulled is a way to get back at me. He is trying to get me angry at him. Maybe he even wants a reaction out of me so he can say "See, that's why I left her, she is crazy."

Man this is going to be a disappointment to DS9. I hope he can express himself to WH. I hope he will say something like "Daddy what was so important for you to do today that you didn't have time to see me?" I won't tell my kids to say stuff like this because that would be using them but I hope they can think of these sort of things on their own.

Well, gotta go to bed since I have to function at work tomorrow. I can't afford to lose my job. AHHHHHHH

WAYTURDS SUCK BUTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last edited by Scotland; 12/27/09 01:30 AM.

BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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Sorry to hear that your Mom couldn't let you talk it out and be upset and also that she is supporting WHs position. It is very hard to get support from foggy people. Almost impossible to expect help from someone supporting a lifestyle that is against what you are fighting for. Its too bad that she couldn't add to her statement that he will never be the way he was because he will be BETTER than before. You know Mom, more mature and responsible as adults should be? Or I will do fine without him Mom.
Waynurds indeed!
Hang in there Scotty you are doing great.

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