Keep it up, Traci! We're rooting for you!

We sure are...

I firmly believe our fear drives our decisions, and we always assume, out of fear, that everyone is thinking the worst of us. But really, they're either too busy thinkng about themselves or are thinking a lot more highly (or forgivingly) of us than WE think.

Plus, humility goes a LONG way toward achieving forgiveness.

Just because your paranoid doesn't mean ppl are not still talking about you.

Not even a a giggle? Oh well my strange sense of humor lol. I allways thought it was a funny saying..and true

I liked it.

Boy, you guys are right, recovery isn't for wimps. I am tired and stressed and it has only been 2 weeks. H is negative sounding a lot. He keeps saying what if it doesn't work out and that he has to get over these feelings for OW before he can work on us. It hurts and I just want to give up. He thinks he should start feeling something already. i told him that it is going to take longer than 2 weeks and that it is going to a lot longer than he thinks and he shouldn't be so negative. He keeps saying he doesn't want to hurt me again. I am glad he is being honest with and sharing his feelings but it hurts. I just feel like telling him to just go and I know it would kill me to let him go but what should I do. I am trying to fight for our marriage and for us and it hurts so much. Any ideas?

Still hoping and praying.

Remember when I told you he may come back and you REALIZE YOU DON'T EVEN WANT HIM. You are probably getting there. He is too screwed up from all the waywardness. It may take him two years to shake it, maybe more??! I think your being valiant, but I also think you will realize he just isn't worth it. I'm sorry, but be careful what you wish for..DUDE

Seriously look into at least one session with Harley. I'm not kidding. Wouldn't you pay $200 to stop feeling the way you are right now? It's worth ten times that amount, or more!
You can do this, you've come so far, so don't give up yet!

Told H last night that I am still hurting and haven't stopped since he left me and that he wasn't helping any. H said he was sorry that he wasn't trying to hurt me. Told him that he acted like it wasn't going to work out before we even got started. He said he didn't mean it that way. He is just worried that if it doesn't work out that I will be back in the same spot I was in 6 months ago. He said he wouldn't mention it any more. Told him that I was going to fight for our marriage tooth and toenail. That I wasn't going to give up on us or on him. I don't want him to leave but I don't want to feel like I've lost before we get started either. H said he always had respect for me and always knew that I was a good person but is just realizing how GOOD a person I am and that his respect for me has grown.

I am going to look into seeing if my flexible spending card for medical expenses will cover a session with Harley if it does I am on the phone in a flash. If not, I will just have to have it come out of my next check, next week.

Still hoping and praying.

Oh, today is my 21st anniversary and H did remember it.

Happy Anniversary. Times like this is when the "in good times and bad" really has meaning. Stick with it, Traci. And pray for your husband. You got the "Power of a Praying Wife" book, right? THIS is the time to use it. 30 days of prayer will go a long, long way.

Traci, the next time H tells you that he's afraid that if working on the M fails you will be back to where you were 6 months ago, explain this to him:
"Honey, if we both try everything we can to mend, including staying faithful and working the MB principles, and yet we still fail, I will NOT be where I was 6 months ago. Back then, you were actively in an affair, working your hardest to destroy our M. If we both try our hardest, and for whatever reason, we're still unsuccessful, we will know we did everything we could. Everything does not equal nothing. SO QUIT WORRYING ABOUT THAT AND LET'S GET TO WORK!!!"
(((traci)))

I got the "Power of a Praying Wife" book in the mail the day my H came home. Coincidence? I don't know, but I still pray multiple times a day and pray from that book too. I feel that God wouldn't have him come home just to have him leave again. I mean why would God tell me to not give up, have faith and don't doubt, do nothing(that was before H came back), and give it time just for H to leave again. I am following Dr. Harley's advice so far and it isn't hard so far but I know that it will get harder eventually and I am in this for the long haul.

I am off today and I got up with H to spend time with him. He told me that I didn't have to because I could sleep in since I am off. I got up anyway and I think he likes the fact that I am getting up to be with him even if he doesn't admit it to me or to himself. Later on I will try to cook breakfast for him because if I try right now he will probably wouldn't appreciate it thinking that I am trying to kiss up to him. If he asks me to cook him breakfast I will. I did cook breakfast for him last week when I was cooking mine. He normally just eats cereal.

DD 19 leaves Monday morning for the Air Force. I didn't want her to go in at first but I think it will be good for her. She is spending the day with her friends on Saturday and the day with us on Sunday. She will do fine. She is a natural born athlete and ran track in high school and played soccer for 12yrs and was in gymnastics for a couple of years. Basic will be a breeze for physically because if I could do Army basic and not be the athlete that she is then she can do Air Force basic easily. She does have ADD and she will have to pay close attention so this will be good for her. I know she will do fine.

Still hoping and praying.

The fervent prayer of a righteous Traci availith much.

Hang in there traci it will pass.

I am off today and H went to get gas in his work truck. We are to spend the day with DD 19 and DD 22. DD 19 leaves tomorrow to go into the Air Force.

H and I are doing fine and making progress slowly. I have never been one to make my H stay home all the time and he knows this. H asked if he could go over to his friend's house Friday night and I told him he could. He left at 10pm and returned by 10:30 and stayed with DD 22. He never got to friend's house. He tried again yesterday afternoon while I was at work and onley stayed a little while. His reason was it was too soon. I let him make his own decision and I think he did ok. Still have a long way to go.

Still hoping and praying.

I have a question for everyone out there. My H thinks that after 2 1/2 weeks that he should feel like he is getting over the OW and he isn't. He still has feelings for her and what he means is that he is still in love with her. About how long does it take for him to start feeling like he is getting over her. He tells me he does love and care for me but not as a husband should for his wife and he won't work on our M until he gets over his feelings for the OW. This scares me because he thinks he should already be getting over her. I told him it takes longer than that. I think he is going to only give it 6 weeks and then leave again. What do I do?

Still hoping and praying.

Ask H to read/post on MB.