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Originally Posted by catperson
You left out email blast all WW's facebook contacts.
Also left out calling WW's best friends and any other relatives she's close to. Once you start calling, you need each and every one of them on your side, and aware of what's going on, because she'll try to call people first and spin HER version - that you're a psycho and she's afraid for her life.

Yep, yep, and yep. And one more thing: pat yourself on the back for riding high in the saddle, my friend. hurray


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jcb,

""What do you think?""

I think it is a heck of a plan.

I just don't see what talking to the therapist has to do with anything. What difference does it make if she told him or not?

AND, he could save his hide by lying to you and telling you she did not tell him. It is still not going to effect the rest of your appointments.

This could be something you ask him later like "Oh by the way, my crazy WW said she told you she had the A but told you to keep it quiet. That's not true is it??" think MrRollieEyes

I think all the other things on your list are much more important than the first thing with the therapist. Plus you don't want to be distracted by this.

Again, my humble opinion.

kirk


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I think I'd inform work first, so that neither the GF nor your MIL can tip off either your WW or OM that something is going down. Also, those 2 visits might take quite a bit of time, giving more opportunity to warn the affair partners. I think that if either of them get called in to HR about this, they'll have all they need to think about for awhile, giving you more time to contact the others. That's what I think.

tl

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Originally Posted by jcb
My plan, so far is this:

See therapist tomorrow
Get cell phone records (if possible)
Leave office early Friday (noon)
Call OM girlfriend
Visit WW mother
Go to wifes work..talk to dept supervisor, store manager, send reg letter to HR
confront OM
email blast all OM's facebook contacts
Call wifes sister
Go home, tell girls what I've done...
wait for wife to come home and repent (hahaha)

What do you think?

Get a DVR and GPS in her/your car.

In case you haven't noticed....Waytards lie ALL the time!

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Why are you bothering with OM at all except in the context of exposing to his girlfriend? He could care less.

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...some people have said to confront OM after the others, some say not at all..........?

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I think OM will have plenty of confrontations without you, from all the people you tell who want him to give an explanation of what they've heard.

tl

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Just as an update...WW just called me on her lunch, crying and saying how awful she felt....I told her I appreciated her telling me that...

Still counting down to Friday exposure....

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She will play you like a fiddle. Saying things like "How can I do this to my family?" "What is wrong with me?" "You have been great through all of this." "I love you."

Then... they turn on you... over and over again. Just be prepared for the emotional rollercoaster that will come. You have to be mentally, physically and SPIRITUALLY prepared for Friday.

She knows you... your strengths and your weaknesses. She will use these against you. Just be ready. This is WAR.

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Originally Posted by OurHouse
Why are you bothering with OM at all except in the context of exposing to his girlfriend? He could care less.

OH,

I know EVERY situation is different, and every OM has their own degree of PUTRID FILTH within their core existence, but I found calling OM to be liberating, empowering, and actually effective. Sure, the guy is already scum of the earth for taking things to this extreme, but hearing from the wife's husband has to take some of the allure off of it. Remember, we don't know what SHE is telling him.

Again, every scumbag/OM has it's own level of vomit to them, but that's just my take.

TB



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I guess I can understand that. I know I had a burning desire to let OW know what a worthless sleazebag she is. I thought that about her before I even knew she was an old girlfriend of H's.

I just thing he has bigger fish to fry in short order and calling OM out can probably wait.

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No need to confront the OM, that can blow up in your face...restraining order, harrassment charges, yada, yada, yada...


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Quote
My plan, so far is this:

See therapist tomorrow
Get cell phone records (if possible)
Leave office early Friday (noon)
Call OM girlfriend
Visit WW mother
Go to wifes work..talk to dept supervisor, store manager, send reg letter to HR
confront OM
email blast all OM's facebook contacts
Call wifes sister
Go home, tell girls what I've done...
wait for wife to come home and repent (hahaha)

What do you think?

ok, I like this strategy. When you face the OM, I would tell him you know all about the affair and so do your children. Tell him you will be fighting for your family and ask him what his intentions are with your wife.

Why are you seeing the therapist? I am very disappointed with your therapist because he doesn't have the slightest idea what he is doing. It is very disturbing that he advised you to lie to the kids and did nothing to persuade your wife to end contact. That is outrageous.

Your wife is going to be angry, rcp, so you need to prepare for this. This is one reason that affairs should be exposed to everyone on the same day. So you only have to deal with one blow up and not several.

What was your wife crying about when she called?

p.s. you are DOING GREAT! So hang in there, friend. The hard part is half done.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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rcp, when she called, did she say anything about quitting her job?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by jcb
Just as an update...WW just called me on her lunch, crying and saying how awful she felt....I told her I appreciated her telling me that...

Still counting down to Friday exposure....

Alien Alert!!! redflag Don't believe a word she says right now. She's working you and trying to do damage control. redflag


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Originally Posted by BTinBL
Originally Posted by OurHouse
Why are you bothering with OM at all except in the context of exposing to his girlfriend? He could care less.

OH,

I know EVERY situation is different, and every OM has their own degree of PUTRID FILTH within their core existence, but I found calling OM to be liberating, empowering, and actually effective. Sure, the guy is already scum of the earth for taking things to this extreme, but hearing from the wife's husband has to take some of the allure off of it. Remember, we don't know what SHE is telling him.

Again, every scumbag/OM has it's own level of vomit to them, but that's just my take.

TB

If you felt empowered by making that call, good on ya. Just as a note, though: the OWH in my H's case was calling him - didn't mean a thing except to drive the A underground, or, as H said in a note to his OW, it made him "sorry he couldn't talk to her as much right then, but he was laying low" for a little bit until OWH calmed down.

Massive, explosive exposure was what did the trick.

Last edited by maritalbliss; 01/06/10 04:04 PM.

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No mention of quitting job...

She was crying about "how much she hurt me"

During her lunch break just now, she sent me texts that are very emotional:

"anytime you need to ask questions, I will answer them"
"You have to stop blaming yourself, it was me"
"I never want you to be hurt like that again"

I am trying to determine if she lied last night when she told me she told the therapist about the physical affair from the beginning. In joint therapy she vehemently denied the physical aspect and the therapist point blank told me she was NOT lying about this..


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Originally Posted by maritalbliss
Originally Posted by jcb
Just as an update...WW just called me on her lunch, crying and saying how awful she felt....I told her I appreciated her telling me that...

Still counting down to Friday exposure....

Alien Alert!!! redflag Don't believe a word she says right now. She's working you and trying to do damage control. redflag

wayward wife to jcb: "I am going to consider quitting my job and I will block on my facebook, but only if you promise to stop telling people about my affair. If you do that, I can forgive you."

WATCH for anything that sounds like that, jcb, because a clever WW will turn to new tactics if demands and threats don't work. She already tried playing the "divorce" and "I'm leaving" cards, and they didn't work. When that doesnt work, they usually try new tactics to get you to stop interfering with the affair.

And I strongly suspect she is still very actively in an affair. I am not believing the "girlfriend" story. It makes no sense for a WW to be this adamant about not losing contact with the OM. A WW will typically go crazy when her OM "cheats" on her. I sure could be wrong, but I smell a rat. Is this "gf" a bud of your wife's?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by jcb
No mention of quitting job...

She was crying about "how much she hurt me"

During her lunch break just now, she sent me texts that are very emotional:

"anytime you need to ask questions, I will answer them"
"You have to stop blaming yourself, it was me"
"I never want you to be hurt like that again"

I am trying to determine if she lied last night when she told me she told the therapist about the physical affair from the beginning. In joint therapy she vehemently denied the physical aspect and the therapist point blank told me she was NOT lying about this..

Will she quit the job, jcb? Did her remorse include quitting the job, deleting facebook, and sending the OM a nc letter?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by jcb
No mention of quitting job...

She was crying about "how much she hurt me"

During her lunch break just now, she sent me texts that are very emotional:

"anytime you need to ask questions, I will answer them"
"You have to stop blaming yourself, it was me"
"I never want you to be hurt like that again"
Your reply, if she does it again:
"Prove it. Give your notice today." Then hang up.

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