Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 12 of 22 1 2 10 11 12 13 14 21 22
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 107
J
jcb Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 107
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by jcb
One of the things my WW told the other man post d-day is that I have a ccw permit (I guess to make me look like a maniac

p.s. leave your pistol in the da car if you do confront him! grin And I am not surprised the OM runs from you, they are always little cowardly weasels.


Which again, not to beat it to death, asks why did she do this with him? Someone afraid to stand up for himself? It is a "little" cowardly to actively RUN away from someone, what's the attraction? Do they secretly tell each other later:
WW- don't worry baby, I know you could have killed him.
OM- yeah, he's lucky!

or something like that...just a big unknown I guess

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Who knows why she chose him, but I do know that any punk who fools around with a married woman is a weasel. So it only follows that such a man of low character will be a coward too.

How old is the boy?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 107
J
jcb Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 107
29. I'm 42, wife is 39.

I know it's stupid, but the age thing hurts, too.

Last edited by jcb; 01/06/10 07:08 PM. Reason: added
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 107
J
jcb Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 107
Again, thanks for everything. Going home to see where we are.

See you tomorrow!

Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
Expose on face book is great.

Exposing on FB and at work even better.

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
night, jcb! Hang tough. You are doing just great! smile


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816
2
Member
Offline
Member
2
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816
Originally Posted by jcb
Which again, not to beat it to death, asks why did she do this with him? Someone afraid to stand up for himself? It is a "little" cowardly to actively RUN away from someone, what's the attraction? Do they secretly tell each other later:
WW- don't worry baby, I know you could have killed him.
OM- yeah, he's lucky!

or something like that...just a big unknown I guess

These are questions you could ask your W. Not the OM.

Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 183
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 183
Originally Posted by jcb
Will not quit her job. Deleting facebook not an option, everyone at work is on there, no need to send OM a letter there is already no contact aside form work...

Deal breaker!!! She's playing you like a cuckold. Personally, I'd take a sledge hammer to the PC then tell her to Facebook her [censored] off!

Expose 20 minutes ago!

Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
p.s. leave your pistol in the da car if you do confront him! grin And I am not surprised the OM runs from you, they are always little cowardly weasels.


Did you guys ever see "Harry and the Hendersons"?
Remember the guy on the bike that got scared and fell off the bike and tryed to say that the Bigfoot knocked him off? Then he started crying "yes!! yes!!.. when Mr henderson calls him on his lie and makes him admit he was scared.

or

In the movie "Lies" when Arnold Swartzenger was going to throw the used car saleman off the bridge cuz he was hitting on his wife and the guy starts crying and pees his pants? lol

"Ive got a tiny weiner really, its pathetic" he says.

Picture those guys, then you see how worthless they are.

Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 107
J
jcb Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 107
Hi,

Went home, had a great night with WW...very close.
Asked her to quit job, she said "do you really want me to quit" I said yes, it kills me every time you go to work. She said "what about getting the new house, we need the money" I said we don't need the money, I'll get you a job at my work" she said I have to trust her, and that there is nothing there to be worried about (!) I left for work saying that just won't work for me.

Appointment with therapist in 3 hours, counting down until Friday...

Thanks

Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
Originally Posted by jcb
It's not having it on me that worries me...if he says I threatened him with it (which I wouldn't) the police WILL assume I did because I have the ccw, phone may be best for him...i could just spoof the wifes number that way he would think it was her at first....

Before confrontation put your weapon in your gun safe, and put the key in a safe deposit box at the bank.

All bank safe deposit boxes log in when people come and go...and the cost for one is negligable.

If the cops come, show them the safe and have them come with you to the bank.

This would also work if you don't have a gun safe, but have the gun locks...


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

Recovered!
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
>she said I have to trust her

To which you replied, "Trust is earned, not passed out like Halloween candy...have a cookie," right?

Last edited by Dealan-de; 01/07/10 09:43 AM.

I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

Recovered!
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by jcb
Hi,

Went home, had a great night with WW...very close.
Asked her to quit job, she said "do you really want me to quit" I said yes, it kills me every time you go to work. She said "what about getting the new house, we need the money" I said we don't need the money, I'll get you a job at my work" she said I have to trust her, and that there is nothing there to be worried about (!) I left for work saying that just won't work for me.

Good job! Just be a broken record, jcb, and stick to your plan!

Why would you trust an untrustworthy person? crazy Trust is not an entitlement, she has destroyed your trust. So the next time she tells you this crap, tell her: "the trust in this marriage has been destroyed. Destroyed. But I can show you ways to regain my trust. Such as ending all contact with the OM, giving me all passwords on your computer and living a completely transparent life. That would be a good start in earning my trust."

Quote
Appointment with therapist in 3 hours, counting down until Friday...

Thanks

jcb, is the same "therapist" who told you to lie to your kids and went along with your W working the OM? Why are you going to see him?

You might want to print out some articles written by Dr Harley for him so he doesn't make this same mistake with the next client. Your therapist is very unqualified to counsel marriages afflicted by adultery.

Never see or communicate with a former lover


misleading children

When Should An Affair Be Exposed? By Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by sortingitout
Did you guys ever see "Harry and the Hendersons"?
Remember the guy on the bike that got scared and fell off the bike and tryed to say that the Bigfoot knocked him off? Then he started crying "yes!! yes!!.. when Mr henderson calls him on his lie and makes him admit he was scared.

rotflmao


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
Originally Posted by jcb
Hi,

Went home, had a great night with WW...very close.
Asked her to quit job, she said "do you really want me to quit" I said yes, it kills me every time you go to work. She said "what about getting the new house, we need the money" I said we don't need the money, I'll get you a job at my work" she said I have to trust her, and that there is nothing there to be worried about (!) I left for work saying that just won't work for me.

Appointment with therapist in 3 hours, counting down until Friday...

Thanks

No no no. She's given you NO reason to trust her!! Read my bio - the job has GOT to go!


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 517
R
RMX Offline
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 517


Just a thought, why get a new house if shes going to divorce?

I would hold off on any major purchases until later on when you can actually see recovery in progress. (10-12 months) or possibly 1-2 years.

just saying...


FBH 34 me,FWW 34,
DS 14, OC-D 12 (given up for adoption), DS-8, DD-5
D-Day#1 10-12-1998
D-Day#2 2-10-2008
Recovered!
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,277
G
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,277
Originally Posted by jcb
Which again, not to beat it to death, asks why did she do this with him? Someone afraid to stand up for himself? It is a "little" cowardly to actively RUN away from someone, what's the attraction? Do they secretly tell each other later:
WW- don't worry baby, I know you could have killed him.
OM- yeah, he's lucky!

or something like that...
Yea, that�s pretty much it.

My wife�s OM is poorly tattooed convicted felon who portrays himself as a "Bad Boy".... Truth is he is the biggest pansy on the Earth. My confrontations with him would have been almost comical if they had been under different circumstances.

But somehow he had WW convinced he was a real Bad-A




Now, I want to repeat a question that has been asked about 50 times but you have yet to answer.

1. WHY ARE YOU GOING BACK TO SEE THAT QUACK THEROPIST?

2. WHY ARE YOU DELAYING EXPOSURE UNTILL AFTER SEEING THE THEROPIST?

Last edited by Gack1; 01/07/10 10:37 AM.

Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 21
O
Junior Member
Offline
Junior Member
O
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 21
Originally Posted by RMX
Just a thought, why get a new house if shes going to divorce?

I would hold off on any major purchases until later on when you can actually see recovery in progress. (10-12 months) or possibly 1-2 years.

just saying...

Totally agreed. I would put the brakes on that immediately. You guys have just taken a tiny baby step but still have miles to go. I've know people that have bought a new house when their marriage was in shambles thinking it would somehow make a difference and the added pressure makde things worse.

Last edited by Only_Human; 01/07/10 10:48 AM.

Dday 2001
Me: BH-49
WW-44
Married 20 years

Recovered after years of hard work and above all...Honesty. It's been years since I've been here but I'm still finding it therapeutic.
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,921
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,921
Waywards are so similar it's scary.

My exww had me house hunting with her while she planned her escape. Don't buy into the house hunting thing. It's a ruse. They're thinking in the back of their heads that they are the women, they will get the kids and the house, and you will pay for it all in CS payments after you're kicked out in a D.

House hunting is a fantasy. I was told by her, "I just wanted to see if my feelings would change while we looked for a house."

Don't fall for this garbage and stay away from it.

Also, everyone is bashing the counselor based on what the WW is saying about him. Odds are she is lying about what he said.


Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
>They're thinking in the back of their heads that they are the women,

Thanks for that Dads.

I know when my fwh duped me into buying a car while he was still boffing the OW, that is EXACTLY what was goin' on in MY mind.

OI!

I'm sick and tired of the fingerpointing towards women...

I've said it before, and I'll say it again,

IT'S A WAYNERD THING.

Geesh.


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

Recovered!
Page 12 of 22 1 2 10 11 12 13 14 21 22

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,116 guests, and 67 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5