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I'm being careful...
I prefer to think of it as SMART....


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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He was informed of the spending, and the money drawn on the accounts, and the credit card statements, and the gambling.


More than likely D!ck had been handing his attorney excuses about why he couldn't pay and how tough it's been financially. Now that his attorney has the TRUTH, he probably called in his debt and D!ck couldn't pay so he withdrew. Happens all the time in civil cases.


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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I kinda feel bad for D!ck. I mean everthing is falling apart for him and now he seems to be feeling a little guilt. I hope everthing works out for him..........Ummmm... puke NOT!


BW me-41
WH -39
DS - 9
married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered
DDay aug 2007
found MB dec 2007
Moved out april 2008
still seeing OW
Plan B

Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. smile
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HH

Sounds like you just scored big time. D1ck probably realizes that he is on the way down, so keep up the pressure girl.

I agree with Chrisner. I think D1ck is headed for disaster.

But they still don't see that what is happening is a result of their own actions.

Unbelievable


BS - me 56
XWH - 57

12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.

6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.

9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me

Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
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More drama yesterday. Since he texted that he's dropping the kids from his cell phone plan, DD suggested I ask D!ck to keep at least her phone on his plan because he bought her a new phone in November AND gave her internet access as part of her BDay gift. DD's words "Mom, you can't score if you don't shoot."

So... as much as I hesitated... I sent a simple text "Can u keep DD on your plan since you upgraded her for internet for her bday?"

You'd of thought I asked for a million dollars. Here's his reply: "Can u explain to me why u want me to consider anything with the $ and bs u r putting us thru to get divorced. U have not budged one bit. There will be nothing left when we get thru. Your attorney will have it all."

Followed by "And I'm sure YDD new phone will need Internet too"

Followed by "U probably need to get ur own account and get off my parents account. My mom is very upset and does not need the drama."

I waited two hours and replied "Sorry i didnt reply earlier. Im watching my daughters basketball game. Remind me what I didn't budge on?"

No more texts. I did call his mother. Apparently they did talk when D!ck called to check on his mail. It was their "usual" exchange of his mom reminding him of his parenting responsibilities, D!ck blaming me, blah, blah, blah. NOTHING was even mentioned about phones. And yes, I am on his parent's cell phone plan and they don't mind.

And I told attorney yesterday about D!ck losing his attorney, cutting the kids off the cell phone, DSs car accident, etc. Attorney says of D!ck... "What a pr!ck."

Is he falling? I don't know. Money is definitely an issue -- but it's always been an issue...

My opinion -- if D!ck and Bimbo are so in love and happy -- then who CARES if it takes D!ck 5, 10, 20 years to rebuild his finances after the D. They should be giving me EVERYTHING to make me and the kids go away. We don't ask for much... we're getting the MINIMUM court ordered temporary support, he spends zero time with the kids, he contributes nothing else....

Ahhh... but the money.

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Originally Posted by Holyheart
My opinion -- if D!ck and Bimbo are so in love and happy --


Happy, in love, secure and grounded people do not act this way.

Only unhappy, miserable, insecure people act this way.

He's going to have a health "event" soon.

*sigh* What a stupid waste of a perfectly good life/family.
Reminds me of how this was what pissed Believer off more than anything else.

Believer would say:

"What a waste."

PS:
Believer's H and OW spent all the family money, and once it was all gone, the OW left him.
THEN, he wanted his marriage back.

WHAT A WASTE !!!


Last edited by Pepperband; 01/07/10 12:01 PM.
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And if I remember correctly, Believer's H took his own life. "What a waste" is right.... or as Taylor Swift sings "Was it worth it.... was she worth it?"

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Your memory is correct. frown

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I foresee a heart attack or stroke...or beating (OW could just rob him and run, you never know).


One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger

I will not spend my life this way.
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I foresee a heart attack or stroke...


I agree, or his final scene in the garage with the car running or a handgun.

He is in too far now with all his addictions. OW, gambling, wild nights in Vegas (10 times in '09!!) and I bet he drinks plenty too to help avoid reality checks.

He does not know how to come back now. He has no path. He's scared and he believes he is in too deep.

What a waste indeed.


Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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He just sent another text... "U can dig and prove whatever u want too but it's not going to change anything. Attorney is the only winner. When will numbers be moved. We need to settle or we can drag it out a year"

Do I ignore, reverse babble, confront, pressure???

I think it's time to propose an AWESOME settlement for me. My attorney didn't want to do this without all the back up credit card statements that D!ck was suppose to provide.

How about "Attny has settlement drafted... just waiting for the statements you were subpoenaed to provide. Will be ready for court on Jan. 21."




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I agree, Holy. Just send him that message.

And I swear, why can't OWs do this with single millionaires? It's not as though it would be hard.

Hell, all you had to do to get Bruce Wayne's eye was be pretty and have two pretty friends with you too.


One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger

I will not spend my life this way.
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What's your atty's opinion on settlement? Have you talked to him about it since WH's latest meltdown?

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Originally Posted by Holyheart
You'd of thought I asked for a million dollars. Here's his reply: "Can u explain to me why u want me to consider anything with the $ and bs u r putting us thru to get divorced. U have not budged one bit. There will be nothing left when we get thru. Your attorney will have it all."


This sounds so much like something my WH would say.....
banghead Ughhhh! this is the thing D!ck that pi$$e$ me off....I dont know if you should respond or not, but I would like this "Yes it is unfortunate what you are putting us through."




BW me-41
WH -39
DS - 9
married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered
DDay aug 2007
found MB dec 2007
Moved out april 2008
still seeing OW
Plan B

Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. smile
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Originally Posted by Holyheart
He just sent another text... "U can dig and prove whatever u want too but it's not going to change anything. Attorney is the only winner. When will numbers be moved. We need to settle or we can drag it out a year"

Do I ignore, reverse babble, confront, pressure???

I think it's time to propose an AWESOME settlement for me. My attorney didn't want to do this without all the back up credit card statements that D!ck was suppose to provide.

How about "Attny has settlement drafted... just waiting for the statements you were subpoenaed to provide. Will be ready for court on Jan. 21."

I think WH is painfully aware that once his $$$ runs out, the OW will follow.



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I responded "Yes its unfortunate what you are putting us through. Attny has drafted settlement. Just waiting for the subpoenaed items you are getting. Plan to have it ready for 1/21."


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Good for you, HH.


BW me-41
WH -39
DS - 9
married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered
DDay aug 2007
found MB dec 2007
Moved out april 2008
still seeing OW
Plan B

Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. smile
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His response...."well i am putting my own subpona together for information needed. it won't be ready by jan 21 since I won't be using (his attny) anymore."

Soooo.... push then stall... bully then back off...

I feel like the "Pushme - Pullme" animal.

What does he want?????? I know... He wants EVERYTHING.

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You said it...He wants everything! Well too bad HH aint gonna let him get it!


BW me-41
WH -39
DS - 9
married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered
DDay aug 2007
found MB dec 2007
Moved out april 2008
still seeing OW
Plan B

Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. smile
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How's this for a response:

"Who r u using so my attny can get in touch with re our offer?"

Do I keep pushing or is it better to stop it... walk away... remain silent. Tell myself that the next one who texts loses.



M 25 yrs, 3 teens
Dday 12/07
5ish False Recoveries (all in 2008)
12/08 WH moves in w/OW, her kids
Plan B/D/FU -- depending on the day
He files 1/09; D final 12/2012
"I'm moving on"
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