You're doing great HH. Stand clear of the ensuing wreckage and pop some popcorn.

Stay OUT of G-d's WAY....

Unfortunately, I have to communicate with him re: the cell phones. He's cutting the kids off today, and I need his authorization to move numbers to another account. I'll have the phone people call him and do this instead of me initiating any contact.

In the long run, the expense of setting up a new cell phone plan is "pocket change" compared to the costs he will pay for his new life. He is a salmon swimming upstream every day... full of anger and frustration. But that is the path he chose.

And I will have the attorney prepare a settlement. Since Bimbo is likely complaining about his slow divorce, I need to use this to my advantage and kick it up a notch. If I put an offer on the table, he may be hungry enough to bite anything.

Actually, I was kind of thinking that if you want to recover your M, maybe this would be a good time to extend the olive branch again. If he pokes it in your eye, then go for broke.

Just thinking.....

Don't know if "extending" of olive branch is where I'd like to "stick" an olive branch up into...

Off with FIL to move kids cell phones. Got text from D!ck that he put me on his account to move the kids. Hummmmm... I'm on account.... what damage can I do with that.... just saying since I did spend $17,000 when I was on an account...

Just saying....

I'll report when I get back.

He's an idiot. If he just upgraded DD's phone, then he probably has a new 2 year agreement on THAT line. It will cost him $200 or so in penalties to do an early termination....

Idiot...

But hey -- never save him from his own consequences. I think it would be a hoot if he got a $1000 penalty on his next bill for canceling all those lines!
Since you are now authorized I would call just to see!

All the phones are now on my new plan. It's costing me $150/month and he's saving $50. Crap. I got the short end of the stick.

And there were no early termination fees or other fees since the phones are still activated -- just moved to another plan. The woman did get the $18 PER PHONE transfer fee waived. Thanks for me reminding her of my situation. She had helped me when D!ck cancelled me off his plan, and MIL and I had her move my number. This time, it was FIL with me.

And the woman reminded me that it will come back to bite D!ck in the a$$. It will come back. And, hopefully, the $150 will come back in the long run -- a thousand fold!!

So, how is ol' Thumblina doing? Have you heard from him since the phone thing last week?

I've been enjoying this thread, Holyheart. You're an inspiration!

Thumblina? It took me a second to get it. lol.

No drama from D!ck so far this week. I'm meeting with attny today to strategize for court next week. FIL will be with me.

After D!ck's actions in court last, either FIL or MIL will accompany me to court from now on. Last time... when it was just he and I left in the hallway... he got on the phone and spoke loudly about me... complaining as to why we were in court in the first place (Hello? You shorted me support!), calling me names (fing b), making faces at me..... just stupid stuff.

He may be breaking, but only in the financial sense. And if his plan is to take me down with him, then I need to play smart here and start separating the debt.

this is SO TRUE.

Don't you find it interesting how he is SO HAPPY and yet continues to try and hurt you.

Just goes to show..

HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE

I agree, Queenie. A friend said the same thing to me. She said "If he's so happy, why doesn't he want you and the kids to be happy, too?"

Why is it nothing but drama? Taking the kids off his cell phone plan -- when he has 5 SLOTS available -- doesn't make sense. So he saves $50, but it costs me $150. All in all -- it's now costing OUR FAMILY an additional $1200 a year.

And will it come back to bite him? Yes. I already predict him wanting a kid or two as a deduction on his taxes. My answer "Golly, when I asked if you'd keep one kid on the phone plan, you said no. So my answer is no."

Taxes will be an interesting issue since our accountant -- his partner in crime -- won't be doing MY taxes this year. I'll have to find someone else. And, without the kid deductions, D!ck won't be getting back that huge return like in past years. Then, again... untrusty banker plus "creative" accountant equals money for D!ck since he NEEDS it to feed his addictions -- ego, gambling, Bimbo, entitlement, Vegas, etc.

Thankfully God has strong shoulders to carry my burdens.

Waywards need drama in order for their affairs to survive. I am so convinced of this. Your sitch is just further evidence.

File your taxes as SOON as legally allowable-- beat him to the punch on the exemptions. He can file and claim the kids and the IRS would most likely shrug and say you have to duke it out between you. (At least this is how I understand it.)

I so AGREE with this..

[quote] And will it come back to bite him? Yes. I already predict him wanting a kid or two as a deduction on his taxes. My answer "Golly, when I asked if you'd keep one kid on the phone plan, you said no. So my answer is no."
You could thank him for helping you learn the word NO....

PM is right. FILE ASAP

"In general, to be a taxpayer�s qualifying child, a person must satisfy four tests:

Relationship � the taxpayer�s child or stepchild (whether by blood or adoption), foster child, sibling or stepsibling, or a descendant of one of these.
Residence � has the same principal residence as the taxpayer for more than half the tax year. Exceptions apply, in certain cases, for children of divorced or separated parents, kidnapped children, temporary absences, and for children who were born or died during the year.
Age � must be under the age of 19 at the end of the tax year, or under the age of 24 if a full-time student for at least five months of the year, or be permanently and totally disabled at any time during the year.
Support � did not provide more than one-half of his/her own support for the year.
If a child is claimed as a qualifying child by two or more taxpayers in a given year, the child will be the qualifying child of:

the parent;
if more than one taxpayer is the child�s parent, the one with whom the child lived for the longest time during the year, or, if the time was equal, the parent with the highest AGI;
if no taxpayer is the child�s parent, the taxpayer with the highest adjusted gross income (AGI)."

You can give up the deduction if you are entitled to it, but can't arbitrarily claim it if you're not. Holy, from what you're saying about creative accounting, you may also want to keep an eye on "Innocent Spouse" rules.

HH --

You should also take a good look at the rules for filing status.
It would probably benefit you to file as Head of Household.
While your H would only be able to file as Married filing Separate.

Who gets the mortgage interest deduction? I'm guessing it comes to the house in both of your names???

Crap... just more legal stuff to get screwed on.

D!ck has the highest AGI. He's been out of the house for over a year. He has... technically... supported the kids by paying OUR bills until he was ordered to pay temporary "family support" in October.

And he prides himself on being the FIRST to file each year. He and acct. figure it out and just wait for W2 to show then submits electronically. The accountant uses us as his "test" for new software.

And I got screwed out of my share of the tax refund last year. It was put into D!ck's checking account where he paid bills -- bills for three trips to Vegas, two trips to the beach, Bimbo's dentist, etc. Nothing came my way even though he promised to split it!

So what should I do? I don't even have an accountant at this point. I do know my final income since I've been out of work since Nov. and have been collecting unemployment.

And the kids? They all live with me with the exception of DS at college. Two of the three had jobs during the year. I've got DSs W2 but not DDs.

I guess I should clarify with attny. today. PM -- He will beat me to the punch with the exemptions. I just know it. And will I even be able to find a tax guy who is eager to get my taxes done first... NOW...???

We are set for court next week. Might my attorney ask for a decision on this by the judge? I'll ask him at our meeting today. Wish I could talk with D!ck about what's best for ALL OF US... but D!ck is not in the win-win game.

As for the house -- he paid the first and the second for 9 months. In the last 3 months, it's come out of my "family support."

The way I understand "family support" is that it's not divided by child and spousal. And -- lucky me -- I read somewhere where I will be taxed on ALL of it.

This past year -- only 3 months -- should be OK. But I need to get this separated for 2010. Why should I be paying taxes on child support?

D!ck already said he wanted to claim "family support" for every month of 2009. When I told attny this, he said he can't since it was only ordered beginning in Oct. But, knowing D!ck, he will try to claim the same dollar amount for the 9 months prior to the order.

What to do? Should I ask IM aka FIL to talk with D!ck? FIL will be with me at attny meeting today.

{{{{{{{{HOLY}}}}}}}}}}

I remember these feelings, frustrations and same thoughts so well. I still haven't filed for past years so I am the LAST person to give advice.

Just a hug to let you know I'm right here with ya... I wish I could offer more.

"Alimony, Child Support, Court Awards, Damages

Question: Are child support payments considered taxable income?

Answer: No, child support payments are neither deductible by the payer nor taxable to the payee.

When you total your gross income to see if you are required to file a tax return, do not include child support payments received."

This is from the IRS website. I think that they will also separate out child support from "family support." Child support and alimony, as I remember it, are opposites, tax-wise; so if you don't have to pay income tax on cs, you will on alimony. But you need to get some more tax facts under your belt or he will continue to cheat you.

Also as I remember it, the child deduction is not based on financial support, but who the child primariy lives with (residence--from the prior quote I posted). The part where it talks about 50% financial support is referring to whether or not the CHILD is supporting themselves financially, like a child actor does, not D!ck.

But more importantly, if I were you I would go see a tax lawyer, because of the fact D!ck is a gambler and a cheat. You may have some unpleasant surprises down the road if the IRS suddenly discovers that he underpaid your taxes by a couple of hundred thousand dollars during the course of your marriage.