Yep, this is the plan I would go with.

So what if it dies in 3 years. You will have wasted 3 years waiting and, even then, it seems unlikely she will return to you. If you just keep hanging on, hoping, outting your life on hold for her, you are demonstrating a lack of self respect, which is never attractive.
I think you need to cut the cord and divorce her. Why would you want to get back together with someone like her?

I know whats going on from a nephew of mine who lives with me and occasionaly sees WW , she has been cut of all finacial aid for well over 1 year. She has a good paying job so money is not an issue. Someone post that the statistics for WW returning after this long in an affaire a very low . Im all about numbers backed by research and thats mainly why I put my faith in the Hartlys , anyway I really want to see these statisics. From what I have seen on here it seems like most WW dont come back but I have no objective data to support that statisticly. All I seem to see is only 1-3 % of affairs work out and most end in 2 years

There are lots of statistics. But the most reliable say that only 3% of affairs go on to marriage, and 75% of those marriages fail.

I can't speculate on the advice of the Harley's, but just know that they are experts.

Frank Pittman advises that the BS go on with their life and wait, because the affair will end.

My WH's affair continued for almost 4 years. But it ended as most do.

The A will end but of course when is the question. I am not sure, but I believe that plan B helps also not to feed drama into the A and fuel the excitement and the demonizing of the BS spouse which the unfaithfulls thrive on.
What you put out there will come back to you. It is a law of the universe. So WS puts out pain and deceit and this will boomerang back to them. Hopefully we will be having a better life when that happens and will not be waiting to pick up the broken pieces of the WS.
Ultimately it boils down to this: we do not know our best interest. There is probably a good reason why God (or the higher power) has taken our WS away from us. We have to accept it and live our lives. If God means for them to be given back to us, they will come back to us. Otherwise, we have to trust that, if they don't, it was the best for us as God intended so.
blessing

Good post, part of it is what I would call, Karma.

In an earlier post I replied to the plaintive voice that suggested the Waywards somehow "win" while the Betrayed seem to lose.

My belief in the Karma Bus continues. What we sometimes don't see is how God (or our Higher Power, if you wish) "dishes out" this karma.

In my case, The Leopard chose to leave our comfortable home with enjoyable vacations, dinners out frequently, her rose garden and more for a small apartment, where she acquires no equity and has to spend money that she doesn't have just to keep a roof over her head.

She chose to leave our marriage for a married man who, it turned out, had prostate cancer, and required surgery a mere week or two after D-day. If the side effects of prostate cancer surgery aren't apparent to anyone (they weren't to me, at first) a quick Google search will inform you quickly!

The OM is also a married man, whose wife is also severely disordered (my analysis). The two have been separated for three years and she has full knowledge of his "catting about," yet does nothing to grant him a divorce, but prefers to keep him on a tether.

The Leopard also has several medical problems, including migraine headaches, a bleeding problem caused by excessive use of laxatives (another of her problems -- bingeing and purging behavior) and most recently, a torn or sprained rotator cuff. But she left, and so did my health insurance coverage that allowed her to receive treatment for these issues. So, what does she do now? She starts smoking!

I look at all of these problems and realize they are mostly self-inflicted. WW and OM can't seem to get out of their own way. As a result, they INVITE the Karma Bus to make a stop every time it's in their neighborhood. But then, they are two cheaters and liars who have found something in each other. That alone is worth a ticket on the bus!

So why do I have to spend any time at all wishing them ill? They do just fine by themselves without MY help!

You need to do a full exposure. The longer this affair goes on the harder it will be to end it.

Also every day that goes by is another day that the WW can get pregnant from the OM.

Then even if you want her back she will most likely not.

I am not so sure if I see Karma the same way I see it interpreted in many posts.
I guess the idea I get is that for many karma means: you do something bad and something bad will happen to you.
But would god (higher power) want bad things to happen to us? If so, our WS cheating on us and leaving us would be retribution for something bad,us BS, did.
The way I see karma is: god knows what is best of us and if we do not accept the situation that is it given to us it is because we believe it is unfair and painful. Every thing that happens to us is a lessons to be learned about who we really are. Our painful experiences stem from the search of love, peace and joy outside of ourselves. Love, peace and joy can only be found within us as we are pure love. However, all of us look for it in people and things. We believe a person can make us happy or fullfill us. Then we are shifting the center away from us. I know this seems contraddictory: "shifting the center", and in fact it is. The center is in you. If you make another the focal point of your happiness you are giving that person alot of power to make you or brake you and you will be disappointed over and over again. You are putting all of your hope to achieve love and peace into another human being who by nature is impermanent: he/she will either leave you, die or change...
When this person fails you, you will suffer like a dog because all of a sudden you have lost a huge chunk of yourself. But it was not yourself really. It was your interpretation of it: you put yourself in the hands of another to reach what you can only find within.
So the way karma is working for me now is that, thru the loss of my H due to his leaving me for OW, I am given the opportunity to go back to me and to center my journey towards love and peace where it belongs: within me. Once I am able to be alone and feel good and fullfilled, then I will be able to have a meaningful and well balanced relationship with another human being. Till then, I will only suffer.
The same thing can be said about the WS. They too will be given many opportunities to experience karma and grow from it. To understand that at some point they will have to break this crazy pleasure-pain cycle in their lives, because the cost to have a tiny bit of pleasure will be counterbalanced by having to pay lots in terms of pain. And the more they hurt us, our kids, friends and family, the more they will hurt in return.
When the WS are tired of suffering, and they will inevitably have a lot of suffering to do given that their center is totally shifted towards the OP (OP being a liar and a cheater...so can you imagine!) then the WS will at some point in time have the choice to use that pain to awaken into the understanding that it is only within themselves that they can find what they truly yearn for.
They can't find it back with us if we are not whole. But, if us, BS, will have alreay understood this thru our suffering now we will then be the perfect match for the WS and we will be able to guide them and enjoy them. Till then, we will be wanting things that the other will never be able to give.
blessing

I think of karma as, if you do bad things you get bad things back. But as the circumstances of bad choices play out. I mean good cannot come out of leaving your family for another person, there is just consequences that come out of that. Divorce, people get hurt, etc. But if you do the right thing and do good it just makes the circumstances better, like if you stay in your M and work on it, your marriage will be better than ever. If you do Gods work and stay in M, he well help your M if both parties can trust him.

Like taking the easy way out is never good in the long run. I dont know if I am explaining it clearly...but I know that God did not take my H away....My H was tempted by the devil and made a CHOICE to be taken in by it....God does not control our choices. He gave us free will. But he can help us through this and prepare us for what lies ahead if we let him....

And he can work on WH's heart but cannot change it....bad things happen to good people all the time, Its not Gods will, but he is there for us to help us through it. IDK, JMHO.

god knows our best interest, we do not. Our will is limited. We have free will, of course, but the will of good is our true essence. God is not this entity outside of ourselves. God is in us. If we listen, if we do not crowd our mind with "our little story" but let our true being direct us...we are then letting god take charge.
blessing
PS when I say god i do not mean a Christian god. I am not a Christian. I do believe in god as a higher power that is whitin each in one of us.

I am fond of saying (and often do), "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans."

Yeah, My WH beleives in God...I do not think it was Gods will for him to meet OW, have sex with her and cheat, lie and leave his family. That was his free will. That is what I am trying to say.

What you wrote might not be my definition of karma; but it perfectly described how I see His grace.
After yrs of dealing with deep depression and anxiety, and just when I thought things start to look better...I found out WH has been involved in 2-yrs A. I was shattered, but at the same time the real me started to emerge. I see my strength, passion, love, compassion, patience....All this time, I have been neglecting my soul. Hard to explain, but somehow, for the first time in my life, I truly believe God knows what's best for me. This is a temporary circumstances, not what I expected but He knows I will go thorugh it. Believing that the best is yet to come, gave me the inner peace.
Not sure if I'm making any sense...