Is it even possible to save my marriage after the divorce papers are signed? Should I just be trying to regain what little dignity I have left? Probably half these people I'm sending this to have already heard WH sob story of lies about me and have accepted this affair.

I personally know a couple on MB who D during his A, and remaried a few months ago.

So anything is possible? Did he file for D? How long did it take for the affair to end?

I dont remember the details, I'll have to ask her, but from memory he filed and the A lasted the standard 2 years or there abouts.

She did say it was her removing herself from all that was going on and totally focusing on herself that helped later on.

Oh man 2 years! I'm afraid they'll be married by then. What a total nightmare! I thought once the secrecy wore off, the affair fizzled out. I've already missed my H for a year, now i may have to wait 2 more years for just the slight chance?

Just some possible suggestions - Lil

I�m writing to inform you that my WH is having an affair with OW. which has resulted in divorce proceedings.

I waited faithfully for During the close to a year my husband to return from was in Iraq for nearly a year; we both professed our love for each other many times a day; every day, even the day before he returned he told me how excited he was to see me, and how much he loved and missed me.

He was home for a few days then went to A few days after returning home he went to Illinois for a friends� wedding. It was very hard to see him go after waiting so long for him. and never came back. I received a voicemail from WH letting me know informing me we were getting divorced and received the divorce papers less than a month later on our Anniversary. Both myself and our children This has are devastated our children and I beyond belief.

WH has told many people lies about me in order to justify his infidelity; and however I have incontrovertible proof to the contrary. and am more than happy to share it

I�m not a perfect wife, nor do I think anyone is, but I have always tried to be the best wife, I�ve loved him, and always been faithful and kind. He is has been my best friend, my true love, and all my heart. for xxx years I love both he and our family with all my heart and soul and want our marriage to work. and am willing to put in the effort to remedy any issues

This affair is the sole reason for the divorce, and is destroying our marriage and family. I hope that if you have any influence over my husband or OW, you would stand against this affair and stand for the institution of marriage and for fidelity.

God bless, BS

Thanks Lil! Very good editing! I will change it accordingly.

I'm wondering what effect if any this exposure will have. I'm pretty sure all thier close friends have heard thier rationalization. I don't know these people. Aren't they all just going to say, "she's crazy!"??

And if it does have an effect, won't it push them closer together, as they may feel like they are both victims of mean ol' me?

Hi EAM-


Lil sent me a message about your situation. I'll have to catch up on your thread to know the details of what you are dealing with, but it is true, I am the one Lil mentioned, whose M was restored after the D.

My FXH's EA became a PA when we were separated-but I didn't find out until a month after our D was final. Even though we were D, I exposed the A to the OW's family-which killed the A. It still took over a year and a half before my FXH came out of his fog and we were able to reconcile. I never thought it would happen.

While we were D, I still loved him, but I knew I needed to have boundaries with him. I was always polite with him-we still had one son to raise together, but I told him I wouldn't be "his friend" because I didn't think it was possible to be friends with someone I had been naked with-many times. He got what I meant.

I moved forward in my life. I went back to school and got my Administrator's Certification. I did a triathlon. I went on a retreat for spiritual renewal and was able to forgive. Yet, almost two years after the D, I still loved him. It wasn't until I gave God my love for my FXH, even if it meant that I would hurt because my FXH moved on to someone else, that my heart was ready for what God had planned.

Just a month later, my FXH came to pick up our YS for the week-end. He was sitting in my room, telling me what he planned to do with our YS and when he would bring our YS home, while I was tying my shoes, when he said "I'm lost without you." I was NOT expecting that...

I did finish tying my shoes and he did take our YS out to a movie and lunch, but after that, we started a conversation which began a miracle that I never thought possible.

We remarried 25 years to the day of our first M.

Wow Johnstwin! That is incredible; it gives me some hope. I have given the love for my H to God. I have exposed to WH family, but WH avoids them like the plague; I think he knows they disapprove. I recently found out for sure who it is and will now expose to all her Facebook friends. The proof I have though is from OW XH (very recently divorced) and we think it may be due to this affair. My WH plans on quitting his job and moving cross country to be with OW, to live with OW. OW XH says it's pretty serious and not just a fling. I am very devastated, so is OW XH. I'm wondering what to do if any of OW friends ask for proof of the affair...I promised OW XH I wouldn't tell anyone we communicate.

Oh and OW XH tells me that OW talks to him about how wonderful my H is. It makes me want to barf! Who does she think she is?

She thinks she's God's gift to men!

Oh, and her head's up her wazoo. You're trying to see her point of view but you can't because you can't get your head that far up there.

LOL! True...I think my exposure will take her down a few notches...I hope anyway, lots of people on her FB from her job. I think most don't know my WH, but they probably know what she just did to her H of 19 years. It's not a giant town either, so surely it will spread like wildfire. She's got a lot of relatives on there too, looks like grandparents, aunts, uncles, parents.

Exposure WILL take her down a few notches. You're in the grips of a nuclear exposure that will be so massive (with all her relatives! So many!!!) it'll be reminiscent of Chernobyl.

Um yeah, I'm sure they aren't all too happy that she ran out on her 19 year marriage; it was her idea, not his. And now this...I think the puzzle will fit together nicely in thier heads. Not good enough to ruin her own marriage and kids, but she had to ruin mine too. I still can't believe how evil it is for her to talk to her XH about my H; the ink on thier D papers is still drying, he was in total shock like me; all was fine one day and the next day D papers.

Do what you can to rip WS/OW's world apart. Exposure is your best weapon.

But you know that already! Prepare for a load of venom the size of Africa to hit you once you do!

I was gonna say...I bet my WH will come unglued. I'm going to be sure we have both signed the mediation papers first; he's offering me 25G cash (I'm pretty sure money she got from her D), and to pay of my car 12G. He doesn't have that kind of cash and her XH said she got a fair sized settlement. That really chaps my hide too; not only is she sleeping with his, but she's paying for our D. He wouldn't do it if she didn't I'm sure, He thinks he got himself a sugar momma, but XH said the $$$ will run out fast. She keeps bragging what a great job my H has, except he's quitting it to live off of her.

Karma, What venom did you get when you exposed? Names, yelling and such. I'm kind of afraid he'll come after me. Iraq made him a bit looney. He was so convinced I'd cheat while he was over there, he wrote me an email saying he'd take any guy who touched me out from 500yds. Funny, I was faithful for ten months, and it took him a few days to turn the EA physical.

I should send OW a bag for her to wear over her head with two little eye holes, so she can hide herself from the shame. Maybe we should bring back the scarlet letter, that way we all know which ones to look out for.

I think I'd just die of shame if I ever slept with a married man and destroyed a family and my grabdparents found out.

JT, no matter how many times I read that bit about the bedroom, I still get blown away.

EAM, LOL to OW financing your D. I would take the money with a great deal of pleasure myself, after making sure thee are no legal grounds for her to get it back. One day when the A is over and WH is open to R, you'll get a kick out of it.

As far as exposure venom; I got yelled at and told "thats it, your've done it now" and some nasty massages from PQ, then no speak-ies from Flick for 2 days. Then things went back to normal. Big deal, buy some ice cream and rent some movies, or go visit friends and wait for it to wash over. No one can sustain that level of fake and guilty anger for long.