Cool!

On my way to my email. I'll be back in a few...

Thanks Johnstwin! I'll be here.

I feel like I'm going to explode! I finally got WH's MSA (marital settlement agreement) from his %*&#@ attorney. It reflects nothing close to what we agreed upon. Basically it has me waiving all my rights to the house, retirement, investments for 10G now and 15G more than a year from now. It also has me waiving any future attorney fees to collect any more money from him. He already told me he is quitting his job and moving to the midwest ( obviously with OW). I don't have his phone number, if he quits I won't have his email, or his address. We had agreed to file taxes jointly and he would apply all the money to paying off my car, and he told me privately that he'd pay off the rest ( I just had to trust him, lol), the agreement has us splitting the tax return which will be hefty since we just bought a house. I'm so upset, I have no job, am very isolated, have no friends, am in my senior year of college ( i dropped last term b/c of the grief). He REALLY want to throw us onto the street. I'm so upset. Please can someone calm me down before I totally explode!!!

Calm down. And nail him to the wall. Finish you college, and get a job.

You CAN do this. You should DO THIS.

Karma, Thanks! I'm a mess. I just need to expose and I need someone there when I do and when I get the responses. I feel like it will be putting a nail in the coffin of our marriage.

About to expose. I'm very scared. Could use some support.

Should I go co-workers, family, then friends?

Hi EAM-

I haven't gotten an email yet. You might want to contact a few of the mods. You might try JustUss or Revera-or both.

About your situation: first of all, your WH may be getting coaching from his sleazy lawyer and/or his OW. Plus, he is in the fog of entitlement and selfishness. Just think of the "offer" as one you would get from a used car salesman. He's fishing. You do need some legal help though.

It's good that you are a senior in college. Go to the women's center (or whatever it's called there). They will have resources for you. There are women's groups that have free or low cost legal help in situations like yours. The women's center will have a list with contacts at least.

Also, since your WH has left you, you might qualify for assistance as a "displaced homemaker". It may sound somewhat archaic, but there is help for women who have been "displaced" when their husbands leave. It can't hurt to check it out.

Hang in there!

Thanks JohnsTwin, But I really think he planned it all. The county we used to live in had legal assitance. He told me that he couldn't wait to get me up here aay from everyone. Now I'm so isolated. No legal aid here. I asked the best lawyer around if I could petition the court to have WH pay my legal fees. He said that they rarely do that, and that even if they did, no lawyer would take it w/o a retainer; my WH's lawyer had 2 yrs. experience and her retainer is 4G. My WH cut off all our money, so I'm pretty much helpless. I want to expose, but need some support. I'm very scared.

EAM and JT,
I don't mind being the contact pass along if you want. My email isn't secret

EAM, I am not in the least bit surprised WH is reneging on his offer, its what waywards do. I think you mentioned he is military,is there any avenue of assistance with that at all?

Let us know when you have done the exposure, and remember it might get nasty, but it doesn't last.

Thanks Lil, I got on of the mediators to do it. I tried to expose, but only got so far b/c I had to individually msg each of OW's friends and FB blocked me for too many msgs. I have only received one response so far, it wasn't good. Here it is...


I don't know your husband or OW that well. Nor do I care to be involved in your ordeal but I am sure this message is going to do more damage than good. I can't imagine having a 'loving' wife that would share this information with people not involved in this unfortunate ordeal. Please refrain from including me in any future messages.

Ugh! I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't even expose to everyone.

Hey, that's really not bad. I got a lot worse than that. One woman even said I should be ashamed of myself (for telling the truth, trying to save my marriage????). A lot just said they are so happy together why can't I just accept it and move on?

Don't worry, they don't know you and I have found the friends of OW who support the affair to be pretty moronic so their opinions count for nothing anyway.

Thanks Travel...I went on my other FB acct and am finishing exposure; albeight more slowly so I don't get blocked.


I know what you mean though, what more damage can be done that they haven't already done. He can't imagine a "loving" wife doing this? Really? So, I guess if I really loved my H, I'd just keep my mouth shut and just let them continue this crap? I feel like pulling my hair out! What has society become?

I feel like I'm making things worse by exposing. None of these people even know me. I've been blocked off FB. Why am I in the wrong here? He's my H. I just can't even deal with this anymore. I feel like this will give everyone reason to support the affair and divorce. I'm praying, but have never been in a darker place.

Should I just give up? I have FB'ed almost all OW friends and his. I know thay already have them all snowballed. What now? I'm in so much pain. It's not like friends we have here; dang I don't have any. My H and family were my whole life.All I ever wanted was a family.These are all people thousnads of miles away; they don't know me. why should they believe me? I just miss him so much. I don't know what to do now...

Don't give up but put the situation aside for now. Try not to engage in negative stuff and critically important right now

create a support system where you live.

Go out with our son to events and chat with people. Maybe join some group near you to meet people. Meet people and invite them for coffee or lunch or dinner.
Join a church or something like that. They are great for immediate support of others.

Create a great life for you and your child and release expectations at this point.

Stay hopeful but busy.

You will get through this.

Well done for doing the exposure and pushing on even when it got hard. You can do this and we are all here rooting for you.
That message wasnt so bad, I got a much more venomous one. Also got one from someone who immediatly wrote to my H and reported it, and another who I thought was a friend of the M, copied and pasted the message direct to him and text him to make sure he got it immediatly.

No one likes exposure, and the ones who fuss the most are the ones who are either emeshed in the same mindset, or have had the best and longest snowjob done on them.

If you want help for snail mail exposure letters for those without email, I'll help. I wrote a great one to PQ's parents and posted it the day before I took Flick, and our girls out of the country. PQ had to stew on it for a whole week and boy was she ropable when Flick finally caught up with her again

Lots of people are incredibly ignorant about affairs, Expect. Until they have gone through it, they seem to feel it is a minor inconvenience to a BS and think you should be over it, happy, and moving on in a week or so, just like folks do in those moronic soap operas and in movies.
Additionally, as you have already fiigured out, many of the types who associate with people who cheat are lowlifes , themselves , with values much different than ours. Water seeks its own level. Same with some of the families of cheaters. These cheating types were raised in an atmosphere where this was accepted, in some cases.
You'll get some moronic responses, like you did. Take comfort in seeing that the people assoociating with the OW and your H are not very bright or evolved.

Expect:

Regarding the divorce agreement you were sent, your WH and his [censored] lawyer took the normal negotiation approach which is shoot for the stars and then negotiate down. I guarantee that the lawyer was playing the "devil on the shoulder" role and convinced him to put some of the crap in there.

I haven't read through the entire post, but do you have an attorney? If not, you need to get one now because there are legal rules in all this that if you don't follow will put you at a severe disadvantage.

You are the woman here and YOU have the power in a divorce, not him. You can take this [censored] to the woodshed and shred him to bits if you want. My recommendation is to find a shark lawyer and prepare for battle. Just do your best to keep the kids out of the situation. If he has already talked about moving then he probably doesn't give a crap about the kiddos, so F-him, let him run off to his whore. Make sure you get what is owed to you.

wow, i've never had a post censored before...i didn't think any of that was bad language. You can find every word I used in the Bible.