My WH is not in the military anymore; he is a DOD employee, so I don't ahev those powers anymore.

Also, the jerk who sent that msg is only a friend of hers on FB. She must be telling everyone we have been D for a long time.

OK. You are clearly dealing with people who have absolutely no respect for women or anyone else for that matter. Stop the exposure to these kinds of people because it just won't help.

EAM - you can get through this, you WILL get through this but you are going to have to be tough for a little while until things settle out.

What is your support network up there? Everyone has friends or even acquaintances. You need to find a rock to lean on right now. You can make it through on your own but a friend will surely make it easier.

Prayers heading your way...

I wish I had a "rock" Or even friends. My H told me while he was in Iraq that he wanted me to move up here in BFE so that I'd be away from everyone. Not that he really let me have friends to begin with, but all my acquaintances are an hour away. I'm too upset to drive. And I have no money for gas.

Too bad he's DOD. A good commander can really make someone's life uncomfortable!

I'm not real up on exposure techniques, but maybe with the FB OW friends you should just expose and not read their emails back? Chances are they will defend her and you don't need their garbage at this point.

Sounds like your H did quite the job on isolating you so you wouldn't have any support. Too bad he didn't count on MB. You can do this! Get a lawyer and start gathering your own information on what you are and are not entitled to in a divorce. I guarantee that CA has a state website that covers some of this stuff.

I'm not done with exposure yet, but I'm going to finish. I know whatever crap I get in return will be evil and ridiculous, but I have to do it.

Thanks for all your prayers Indarkness.

Also, I have a bunch of Army property my H stole from base and am working on getting that back to the Army; I just don't trust that he won't try to pin it on me.

Then get one of them to drive themselves up to you. It sounds like you need some rest. I just did a quick summary of your post - dang, woman, you've been through heck and back.

File that one in your 'circular file' under "idiot" and forget about it. And dry your tears. You're on a mission, sweetie.

Yep, I feel like I'm in living hell and the one person who was supposed to be there for me; the one I was always there for when he was in Iraq, is now telling everyone we have been divorced a long time.

I really don't have any real friends, none that would drive an hour to see me. Geez, I'm pathetic. How could I have let him do this to me? I guess I just focused on family too much. He was my best and only friend; or so I thought.

I know he's an idiot Maritalbliss, it just hurts that my H would say we have been D for a long time...Nothing has even gone to court yet.

The H you know has been taken over by an alien, EMA. Try not to let what he says get to you too much (easy for me to say )

You've got friends, here. We'll help you.

Thank marital! I'm very thankful for all of you. I only have 12 left to expose to; about half of which may be eeeevil. But, I do not care!

Okay, this guy is such an A**! I'll show you our whole conversation...

I�m writing to inform you that my husband WH is having an affair with OW.

During close to a year, H was in Iraq; we both professed our love for each other many times a day; every day, even the day before he returned he told me how excited he was to see me, and how much he loved and missed me.

A few days after returning home, he went to Illinois for a friends� wedding. It was very hard to see him go after waiting so long for him. I received a voicemail from H informing me we were getting divorced and I received the divorce papers less than a month later on our Anniversary. This has devastated our children and I beyond belief.

WH has told many lies about me in order to justify his infidelity; however I have incontrovertible proof to the contrary, and am more than happy to share it.

I�m not a perfect wife, nor do I think anyone is, I have always tried to be the best wife, I�ve loved him, and always been faithful and kind. He has been my best friend, my true love, and all my heart for six years. I love both he and our family and am willing to put in the effort to remedy any issues.

This affair is the sole reason for the divorce, and is destroying our marriage and family. I hope that if you have any influence over WH or OW, you would stand against this affair and stand for the institution of marriage and for fidelity.

God bless, BS

He wrote back...

B***h get a f***ing life you've been divorced for awhile move on I don't need to hear about your f***ing sad life. I don't blame WH for leaving your dumb C**t a*s

I wrote...

We aren't divorced! Is that what he's telling everyone? I can prove it too.


He wrote...

So f***in what grow up & leave me alone !!!!!

I wrote...

You're funny. I'm not the immmature person here. You're married and don't believe in marriage? Does your wife know? I have never called you any names. But really, don't worry, I have no desire to ever speak to you again. FYI, you are getting some serious misinformation. I will be praying for you though. God bless you! BS

EAM, I'm sorry you received such an immature and hateful reply to your exposure letter. Rather than take it to heart, I suggest you "consider the source" and simply put this person out of your life.

You are not alone, you know. I found out that my oldest, "best" friend not only didn't care that my wife was having an affair, but that he thought chasing married women was preferable to having a serious relationship with someone not "attached." To this day, he still cozies up to her, probably because he thinks "his turn" with her may come some day.

He is as deep in my Plan B as is she.

I always questioned the FB exposure as it seemed to me that their "friends" would either be liie-minded or would not listen to the truth.
I have found that my XWW's associates have heard a ton of misinformation on the cheating and/or are lowlifes themselves.
I got tons of support from XWW's family and our mutual friends and my own friends and family. But, I never expected any type of support from a bunch of barflies like my XWW's friends. Nor did I want it.

Fred, I guess you know who your real friends are when this happens. Not that this A-hole was ever my friend, but...It doesn't hurt so much what this guy said, it's more that my WH would tell them all we have D for a long time. THAT really hurts.

Two more responses, not positive either...

#1

I don't know you, so please don't send me any messages.

#2

i hope i forward this right.

Of course your WH is going to say he was divorced! How else could he justify the A?

The other day, my WW was talking about going to a new congregation and I asked her what she was going to tell the new friends she planned on making. I said, "are you going to tell them you are divorced?" (we are not D yet, not for 3 mos. more) And she said "of course, it's none of their business." And I replied, "great way to start off new friendships - with significant lies about who you are."

WSs are deceptive, lying, morons. But you knew this already.

True Indarkness, but it makes me want to scream! It seems that all his friends think I'm the bad guy here. It hurts so much.

It's so typical, EAM. My WW thinks it's okay to tell everyone that since we're separated it's okay for her to be sleeping with someone else.

She doesn't bother to tell them that we are separated because she was sleeping with someone else!

WOW! This is soooooo much fun!!! This is the most recent respone...

I WANT NO FURTHER CONTACT FROM YOU!!! I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS INFORMATION AND I DO NOT WANT ANY MORE OF IT!!! OW is a friend of mine and i wont let someone like you influence me about her or anyone else i choose to be friends with