Hi,

A year ago my partner cheated on me when he was away. I found out but he didnt tell me the whole truth until about 3 months later. (He sort of told me in sections). When he told me the truth he stopped having contact with the other person as i said if he didnt that our relationship wouldnt work.
I know he has only done it once . I think he was suprised at himself that it even happened! Ever since he has been honest about everything and he has really changed for the better. He is really trying to make our relationship work and i know this and praise him for it.

Although he has changed i cant help but feeling so hurt and betrayed. No matter what i do the fact that it happened doesnt go away and is always haunting me. Whatever he does to 'make it up to me' doesnt seem to help. I feel so angry and so much pain. I constantly cry and am unhappy because of whats happened. i really think he is being honest but it still doesnt make be believe thats he is as i just think hes lying like before.

At the same time as this he told me he is bisexual. This just added to the infidelity. I feel like its a never ending battle. Like no matter what we do the past is always lingering in the background.

I have been to counsellors with my partner but all the counsellors council us as though we should separate and go our separate ways. I love him with all my heart and i know he loves me too and we both really want to make this work.
Now im the one holding us back as i just dont know how or what to do to make things better. Im fine one day and the next its back to square one. Im so afraid that it will happen again and i dont want to witness this awful pain again so dont know how to push forward through this.

Thanks for listnening and Anyone with any advise please help.

Thanks

Help, welcome to marriage builders.

From your usage of the word partner, I take it you two aren't married? Was marriage ever in the plans?

You can love a person with all your heart, but it doesn't mean that you can be with them.

What is it that you want to make work exactly?

By partner, does that mean the two of you are gay?

Larry

No i am a woman and he is a man. We are together but not married. No marriage plans for now but if we can work through the problems infedelity has caused then yes maybe in the future.

We both want to make our relationship work. Its just hard to get over whats happened. So i was just hopeing someone could give advise on how they have or how to etc.

Thanks

click on link to read living together before marriage article

He cheated on you, you are not married and he is bisexual. That increases your chances of STD. If he is bisexual he will be prone to go with other men and unfortunately gay man tend to be more promiscuous than lesbians (this is by their own admission, it is not my opinion, I have many gay men friends who admitted that being faithful is very difficult.)
I would run far away from this man and certainly not marry him.
blessing

Why do you, a woman, want to stay with a cheater that sleeps with men?

Your life will on turn for the better after he is gone from it.

As you likely know, your turmoil is based on your heart telling you one thing while your head is SCREAMING the opposite. You see this as about YOU and that simply isn't the deal.

It is about him.

The risk factor in any pairing is high. Why make it higher when your proposed partner can walk in one day and announce, a) he has aids, b) he has once again given in to his homosexual side, c) he needs to go find himself, d) some other scene. . .

Common sense should tell you that you have the capacity to love and that isn't going to go away. Trust me, you can and will fall in love again, older and wiser, if you choose to bail. There is no such thing as the love of the ages when the price is as you have written. There is someone out there at least as good and likely better.

Listen to your counselors, they are giving you good advice.

Jut curious, how old are you? And no, I am not going to mock your age, whatever it might be.

Larry