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I am certain I will not remain in a marriage to a man who is in love with another woman.
How did it feel to say this to yourself?
I am certain I will not stay under the same roof with a man who cannot commit to me.
It's like a promise you make to yourself.
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I will not tolerate being lied to.
Me:BW
Dday:12/31/09-Found MB 01/03/10
3DstepChildren24&20
PlanA:01/03/10
PlanB:03/25/10
D final 11/15/10
"I dare you to find some time and some place to be silent for longer than usual; a few moments, a few minutes, a few hours. Listen to your heart, listen to your soul; and most importantly, listen to the silence to see what it sounds like and how it speaks to you."
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 614
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It actually feels crappy to admit the man who is supposed to love me is actually in love with someone else.
Me:BW
Dday:12/31/09-Found MB 01/03/10
3DstepChildren24&20
PlanA:01/03/10
PlanB:03/25/10
D final 11/15/10
"I dare you to find some time and some place to be silent for longer than usual; a few moments, a few minutes, a few hours. Listen to your heart, listen to your soul; and most importantly, listen to the silence to see what it sounds like and how it speaks to you."
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 614
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Posts: 614 |
I am sure I am not prepared for Plan B - however having him out of here at least tonight will give me some breathing space.
Me:BW
Dday:12/31/09-Found MB 01/03/10
3DstepChildren24&20
PlanA:01/03/10
PlanB:03/25/10
D final 11/15/10
"I dare you to find some time and some place to be silent for longer than usual; a few moments, a few minutes, a few hours. Listen to your heart, listen to your soul; and most importantly, listen to the silence to see what it sounds like and how it speaks to you."
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Why???I am starting to question.
I love him
It is not certain if that is possible, but at this time, it is your desire to try.
Makes perfect sense.
Now I think he is selfish.
All people in affairs are selfish.
If he does not change ... and remains selfish, you will know what to do.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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I will not tolerate being lied to. I'll help you out. I am certain I will require honesty in my marriage.
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I am sure I am not prepared for Plan B - however having him out of here at least tonight will give me some breathing space. Amen to that sistah !
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It actually feels crappy to admit the man who is supposed to love me is actually in love with someone else. Actually what you were supposed to say aloud was Quote:I am certain I will not remain in a marriage to a man who is in love with another woman. This excercise is about what YOU can control and decide not what HE chooses to do. When you say that you will not remain in such a marraige if he continues to do that DO YOU MEAN IT ? 
FBW(me)- 45
FWH- 53
D-day 4/29/08
Moving forward pursuing happiness & a loving Marriage with DH.
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If you don't already have it... go to the nearest bookstore and buy Surviving An Affair.
Or, order from this site.
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 614
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I take it then I am supposed to say this out loud to him.
I have stated that I want the A to end and the marriage restored.
Not empowering enough....I know.
I am still waiting for this to all go away. It only keeps getting worse.
Me:BW
Dday:12/31/09-Found MB 01/03/10
3DstepChildren24&20
PlanA:01/03/10
PlanB:03/25/10
D final 11/15/10
"I dare you to find some time and some place to be silent for longer than usual; a few moments, a few minutes, a few hours. Listen to your heart, listen to your soul; and most importantly, listen to the silence to see what it sounds like and how it speaks to you."
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 614
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And he just left...
I feel awful!
Me:BW
Dday:12/31/09-Found MB 01/03/10
3DstepChildren24&20
PlanA:01/03/10
PlanB:03/25/10
D final 11/15/10
"I dare you to find some time and some place to be silent for longer than usual; a few moments, a few minutes, a few hours. Listen to your heart, listen to your soul; and most importantly, listen to the silence to see what it sounds like and how it speaks to you."
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T/J
In an effort to spend time here I just burned my dinner for DH, given how bad a cook I am, I sure it will taste only marginally worse than if was not burnt.
LOL
Good thing one of my DH's EN's was not good Food.
End T/J
Ok back to discussion.
FBW(me)- 45
FWH- 53
D-day 4/29/08
Moving forward pursuing happiness & a loving Marriage with DH.
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Posts: 35,996
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I take it then I am supposed to say this out loud to him.
I have stated that I want the A to end and the marriage restored.
Not empowering enough....I know.
I am still waiting for this to all go away. It only keeps getting worse.
I'm not convinced you mean it. (yet)
I wanna hear some fire behind those words!If you think THIS is bad, you are no way ready for recovery .... RECOVERY is harder than this.
Toughen up sistah, you're going to need those muscles in recovery. (hopefully)
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And he just left...
I feel awful! OK Let'er rip .... rant  and  rave .... unburden yourself. Scream and yell.
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I take it then I am supposed to say this out loud to him.
I have stated that I want the A to end and the marriage restored.
Not empowering enough....I know. Nope for now you just need to say it to yourself. I am not sure thats a requirement you are willing to pay the price for.
FBW(me)- 45
FWH- 53
D-day 4/29/08
Moving forward pursuing happiness & a loving Marriage with DH.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Nope for now you just need to say it to yourself. Is there an echo in here ??? 
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For now, you need to say it out loud TO YOURSELF !
I'm not convinced you mean it. (yet)
I wanna hear some fire behind those words! LOL I guess we have ESP either that or we are both hearing the same thing from her!
FBW(me)- 45
FWH- 53
D-day 4/29/08
Moving forward pursuing happiness & a loving Marriage with DH.
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 439
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 439 |
FBW(me)- 45
FWH- 53
D-day 4/29/08
Moving forward pursuing happiness & a loving Marriage with DH.
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 614
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OP
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 614 |
[b][/b]I am certain that I will not remain married to a man who is in love with another woman!
Me:BW
Dday:12/31/09-Found MB 01/03/10
3DstepChildren24&20
PlanA:01/03/10
PlanB:03/25/10
D final 11/15/10
"I dare you to find some time and some place to be silent for longer than usual; a few moments, a few minutes, a few hours. Listen to your heart, listen to your soul; and most importantly, listen to the silence to see what it sounds like and how it speaks to you."
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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He says he knows what he is doing to me and it hurts him to hurt me, yet he cannot walk away. Back to this bullchit.  If it HURT him to hurt you, he's stop. His adultery feels good. And he does not want to stop because it feels good. He's trying to look like a good guy, all the while breaking your heart .... This ~~~>"It hurts me" is disingenuous and phony and a big fat LIE
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