Thread starter asked that his threads be combined.

Sorry for any confusion due to the merge.

I've been avoiding all Love Busters the few times my ex and I communicated because I want the option of her coming back to me to reconcile.

Her and I have flaws. Maybe her more than me lol. I want to give her time to age because I love her.

I am confused. You stated that she was engaged and you talked her out of it, then you confirmed Sugar's question asking if she was legally married to the childs father. Are they different people? I may be missing something, maybe I should go back and read it again.

Anyway, I have a question. You said that there is a 10 yr age, she is 21 and you 31. You said you were together 1 yr 4 months. So that would make her around 20 when you met. You later posted that you met her when she was 18. Not sure why but I am concerned that she may have been younger, or the age gap a little bigger even. I am sorry if this is incorrect but you will get more help with total honesty.

Either way if she was 18 and you 28, in my opinion, this is almost like living on two different planets. There is going to be immaturity on her part although, I hate to say this...you may be a bit immature yourself. Sorry but I guess I am getting that impression from the fact that you met your wife on video games. I don't want to dj you, I just know some grown men w/ bad video game habits...they come across as a bit immature. This may not be the case with you.


Please clarify the ages when you met and if your wife was married previously. I am wondering if you meant that you broke up the marriage, not the engagement.

At 21, she has a lot of growing up to do. If she was married prior to meeting you and already had a child, that is a lot. Just seems that she had a hard life and has been through a lot at a young age. She may be rebelling now, trying to claim the freedom that she didn't have. Thats just a guess...

Do you know if she was ever abused?

"Love #1 moved from Texas to live with her at her parent�s house in Wyoming when she was 15 to 16 years old."


Wow. The more I read, I get the feeling that this woman may need to work on self before her marriage. If she was 15 and living w/ a man (he must have been older to just get up and leave the state on his own) something tells me her home life may have been anything but ideal. She may need some serious therapy before considering this marriage.

Man, she's a person, not a cheese. Some folks don't get better with age.

Sometimes the "cheese" just gets more moldy!

GloveOil, you're hilarious! I like you.

Happy__Lovers, she was physically assaulted once by her Love #1.
Her parents are alcoholics. After work everyday, they drink alcohol. Her home life has been hard. I believe Love #1 became her father when she was growing up.

_Larry_, GloveOil, Skald, Happy__Lovers:

Thank you for your feedback! I have been thinking a lot in a different way because of it. Thank you!

I got an email from my ex today. She wants a divorce, and she wants to know if we can handle it peacefully. I told her I need some time before I talk with her about it. She said ok.

I don't understand. If she's your ex, how come she wants a divorce?

Fred_in_VA, she's my wayward wife. I'm sorry for the confusion.

I have a question for everyone:
Why is it good and/or bad to try to fix someone?

User,

One thing I don't like to read on this board is when the members recommend divorce. This is a marriage building forum, not a divorce forum. We should try to support those who want to save their M as much as possible, unless it is so obvious that it would be near impossible.

User, this is one such case. That is one messed up girl. Granted she has had a broken life, but she is nowhere near ready to commit to one person. She changes from one man to the next like they are video games, playing one game a little bit until she gets a little bored, then ejects it and places the new one in for a while.

Let her go. She is bad news. There is WAY too much baggage. Your chances for recovery are next to nil with this girl. You need to heel your broken heart for a while. Then go outside and meet people in person, not over the internet or on video games. Work on yourself, and then go out and meet someone who wants to be in a committed R with YOU, not your video game character.

I am sorry for your sitch, but you are young with a whole life ahead of you. Just not with this girl.

It's bad because you CANNOT fix someone. You can only fix yourself.

Have you ever tried to teach a pig to sing?

It doesn't work, and it only irritates the pig.