Okay, got another...since my Dday and divorce crud started almost simultaneously...

"People get divorced all the time!"

He said it joyously, but like, "It's no biggie, what's your problem?"

Yep, well people do all kinds of crappy stuff all the time, but it doesn't make it okay; I could make a long list...

Okay, folks, this one is really kind of hot off the presses. It was hurled at me JUST THIS PAST SATURDAY EVENING! And just posted today. After encouragement from MS, I'm sharing this little pearl o' wisdom from Skattorney herself:

�Why does it have to be all or nothing with you. Why can�t you just let the situation run its course and be accepting of the future being unclear?�

A real piece of work here, folks. I guess I�m restating the obvious, though. I'm sure I have more to offer, but this one is fresh. Kinda like some of the stuff lurking in the back of my refrigerator....

Thanks,
TB

my Ws never agreed to the NC but used the same line "I need to talk with him just for closure" she also said
"I need to ask him if what we had was real because even if he did just use me for sex it was still very real for me"
my demon possed alien of a WS has said so many off the wall things it would fill up the rest of this page

One dumb thing my husband asked me to do when he called her to tell her it was over. He asked me if he could talk to her in "private". I'm like, are you serious. You are crazy if you think I'm going to leave the room while you talk to her.

How's this?


"She would be a good influence on the children."
"She could move into the spare room. She likes to cook, and could help you around the house."
"It is the friendship I would miss. She could come and hang out here. We wouldn't do anything more than hold hands or kiss."

And of course..."She would make our marriage better."

I think they've all slip and bumped their heads. Talk about wanting you cake and eat it too. Some of these statements are just plain stupid, excuse me. How could such intelligent people become so ignorant in the course of a day.

Mine also used the privacy thing. Wanted to send her the NC letter and NOT have me read it.

Uh, yeah.

Right.

Wow Throughagrinder....these are exceptionally horrible!! So sorry to hear that these things were said to you. Have you started a thread with your story? Lots of awesome people here on MB to help you through this.

Mindshare

Thanks mindshare!

Actually, after I picked my jaw off the floor, I found the things he said ridiculously funny.

I have been reading here for quite awhile. Have been in Plan B since Christmas. Everything ok so far.

I want to give you a bit of background to the statement I want to present to y'all.

We know a guy (let's call him Mr. Arrogant) who cheated on his first wife after 20 years, got caught and divorced; married his OW and stayed married to her for about 15 years until SHE caught him cheating again and divorced him.

So...my H and I are out at the local bar, just waiting to meet some friends. While we are there, a beautiful, but extremely drunk woman came in. She was so drunk that she didn't even noticed that the bartender just gave her soda instead of a whiskey and soda. Anyway, she was from out of town, but was there looking for Mr. Arrogant to find out why he wouldn't answer her calls and why she hadn't seen him in a while. After all, they had "been together" for five whole years! In her ramblings, she mentioned the name of her cousin who lived in our town. The female bartender knew the cousin, so she called the cousin and asked her to come get her drunk relative.

Not knowing about the bartender calling the cousin, my H called Mr. Arrogant and told him that his GF was at the bar and too drunk to drive.

Mr. Arrogant did come to the bar, but refused to sit with her, and they had a bit of an argument. Then, the cousin showed up and managed to get the drunk woman to leave with her.

After they left, Mr. Arrogant sorta snorted and said:

"I've done had two FINE wives, and I don't have to put up with a drunk."

I really, REALLY wanted to tell him off!

I wanted to tell him that if his first wife was so fine, then he screwed up by cheating in the first place, and that if his 2nd wife was such a fine wife, she wouldn't have screwed him while he was still married to the first wife.

I also wanted to tell him that if he thought he was entitled to a THIRD "FINE" wife, the odds of his finding a FINE wife were getting lower and lower, because at his age, most "FINE WIVES" would not settle for less than a "FINE HUSBAND"!

In the days after DDay my FWH asked me, quite seriously, "Why can't I have a W and a GF?" I was dumbfounded. I've learned to say things to him like..."You can do anything you want once we're Divorced..."

or when he was writing the first NC letter (the one I'm sure he called or emailed later and recanted) and said he was thinking about how she would probably cry when she read it... Uggghhhh.

Or in a very angry moment I read off the laundry list of ways he had lied, cheated, and stole money from me when he came back with the retort, "Well at least I don't beat you..." So true, and what a fine catch you would be. Perhaps we should start a new dating service www.atleastIdontbeatyou.com

OK, so that was...what...5, 6 years ago? I have forgotten. Things are MUCH better now. When I have told him about these things he said to me, he is sad and ashamed he said them.

Yes, WTF is your problem, TB? I mean, seriously, can't you be adult about this and let your WW pursue her happiness?
I loved it in that movie "A Serious Man" where the two cheaters gang up on the husband and try to shem him for not being "adult" about his wif'es continual cheating.

This is good. My H befriending the neighbor woman and me telling him that given he already had one A it was not a good idea to spend time at neighbor woman\s house fixing her computer.
H replied: you give me nervous twitches, I can't have any friends! This is really too much..

Later on I found out that at the time he told me the above he was already having a PA with her....the nerve!
blessing

I just thought of another crazy thing my H said.

He had been checking (and periodically erasing) our computer's history. After I found out about OW and he told me he wanted a separation, he said that HE thought I was having an affair because he saw on the computer (weeks earlier) where I had been looking at houses on-line in TX (a hobby of mine) and had been looking at wedding rings (I had been looking at jewelry, another hobby). He said he was sure I was going to run off and marry someone else and buy a house with them in TX, so he assumed the marriage was over (although he never bothered to mention it before then)!!!

I just thought of a couple more classics from WW...

When discussing NC with OM, she says "If I want to call him or send him an e-mail, I don't see what the big deal is. Its not my fault you are too insecure to handle that"

When asked why she ran off and had an affair without ever once discussing our "marital problems" She says "You are so clueless that sometimes it takes something major like this for you to realize there is a problem."

Unreal... On a positive note for me, we have agreed in terms to the final D agreement. My lawyer should have it ready for signature tomorrow. I get the house, custody of the kids, and she will pay me child support and I get to move on with my life, minus WW!! Not a bad deal all things considered...

When WH told me he wanted to stay married AND continue on with his A he said, "I think I can still be a good husband and father. I pride myself on that."


When he told me that I hadn't loved him for years so he didn't think he was violating anything in our marriage I told him it was his responsibility to tell me if he felt un-loved or unhappy in our marriage. His response:

"I was afraid if I told you that you didn't love me anymore you'd say 'yes, that's right" and you'd leave me and take my children away from me." (well, now, he's the one leaving and moving 4 states away with narry a thought on how this might affect those precious children of his)

I also heard a line that's already been mentioned here ... "If you really loved me you'd want me to be happy."

Oh, and one more ... On D-Day when I confronted him about the OW he admitted the A right away and then got all swoony just thinking about her and said to me, "She's just wonderful!!!"
I literally put up my hand like a stop sign and said, "Don't say another word about her. I don't care about her and I sure don't care why you think she's wonderful."

He actually seemed hurt that I didn't want to hear about her glowing qualities. BLECH!

Excellent deal, ed. Way to go.

WH told me that he has come far since last year he used to talk to her "ALL" day everyday he's at work, "now it's only a couple times a week".

WH also told me that he didn't do anything physical with OW because they "respected marriage"

Does this count? After giving me the standard waybabble line, "It's not about OM --it's never been about OM-- it's always been about us," she's virtually announced her engagement to the guy via Facebook.

We can't finalize the divorce for another three months, yet.