Ha Ha

You mean Achmed - the dead terrorist

H and I went to our friends and neighbors lastnight and played cards and really enjoyed ourselves, not only with our friends but with each other. Today we have already watched a movie together and talked about the movie during the movie. We liked to rent movies and talk during them unless it is real intense. The movie we watched was "Zombieland" so you know that wasn't a real intense movie.

H is going to a friend of his house this afternoon to watch the Superbowl and will come home at half-time. He is going over for the pregame stuff. I am going to cook up steaks, potatoes, and vegies for when he gets home.

Still hoping and praying.

Thinking of you. Keep your chin up.

H went to friend's house to watch the pregame and I went up town and did some shopping. After I got home text H twice with no answer and then I called him. He said he never got my text and that he was sorry. Probably telling the truth because where we live at sometimes my text messages don't reach the other person or I don't get them. H came home right then because he thought I was upset and I wasn't. He wanted to reassure me. Watched the Superbowl with H and we cheered the Saints on together. H asked if I was going to watch it without him and I said I was because the TV was on CBS when he came home.

Still hoping and praying.

Caught up on yur thread and my O is.

Marks advice is the most constructive and I would just be mimicking the same.

He is like a drug addict that ya take the drugs away but wont deal with what drove him to them in the first place.

You keep telling us he wont listen to you. thats par for the course.

All of this is par. its part of the recovery and the stuff about "Getting over her" means = "I was living in a afntasy and I wanna go back there" Maybe if I wait long enough the teacher will let me go home and I wont have to do my homework.

He still wants to escape Traci.

I hope you guys take Marks advice at least and Doc H will reveal any IC issues he sees.

You are doing good Traci, take care of yourself

How does you H respond to other losses during his life? I know his head is up his b***, but some people just do not bounce back as quickly as others.

When I was younger, loss did not take me down for long. As I got older and lost a Father, Mother, Brother and all grandparents (before 40), I find that any loss tends to "hang around" my mind longer and the recovery process is slower.

It does not matter what the loss is, I just don't take them as well.

But in H.S. It took me a long time to get over relationships, tho. (I was not a differnt guy different day kind) I expect that it is part of my nature (does not matter which BF, just losing any takes time.)

My point...if it is just your H personality to be a slow healer (and depression really adds a mess into the mix) he cannot expect himself to shake off his feelings in a few weeks.

I am not giving credit to the AP... it does not matter who she was.
Just a thought

What barb just said is also something to look at.
I think WH has depression probs. No Sin I have them too.

H told me this morning that he had made a big mistake by having an affair with OW. He said that he was wrong and that he regretted it. He said that he thought long and hard about everything and when he thought about what I said about him seeing OW if he moved out again he realized that he couldn't go back there again and could not see himself living with her ever again. I think that this is finally the first step on our road to recovery.

My BIL called me at work today to tell me thank you for being such a great person and taking his brother back. He said that he always loved me and that I always had a special place in his heart and now that place had gotten that much bigger. He said he couldn't have done what I did. He said that he kept telling H that he was one lucky guy. BIL also said that he knew true love when he saw it and that my love for his brother was true love. I almost cried.

Still hoping and praying.

BIL is a GOOD DUDE. Your H is lucky to have a brother like that. Praying for you.

YAY!

Traci,
I totally agree with Mark--You HAVE to get H into sessions with the Harleys. They will be the voice of reason. I don't care if you have to borrow the $$ from your BIL--get the money, and tell H that it is a CONDITION required for his return home. Tell him he won't be signing on to anything and there are no strings attached. ONE SESSION.
It will make a world of difference, I assure you.

ITA that , do it, and let WH see you do it. He will see that you too can submit. Not that you are proud Traci, I think you have a right to be. I think that WH feels so insignificant and like such a fool that he will benifet from seeing his Awesome wife ,(you), also submit to an outside authority.
Does that make sense?

Haven't been here for several days because of trying to spend time with H and working the past 4 days. H getting off work early today and we will spend the rest of it together without the girls.

I plan on telling H that I am tired of walking on eaggs around him. I feel like if I say or do anything he isn't comfortable with or doesn't like he will leave and I can't do that any more. If he doesn't like it tough. I am not going to say anything mean or hateful but I will say,"I love you". He doesn't want me to say that to him yet because he feels like a hypocrite. Actually I think it makes him feel guilty. I know that as time goes on that he is going to realize everything that I have been saying has been the truth, but he has to figure that on his own.

H is feeling better about us and the future and he even mentioned that yesterday. He said that he has been thinking and planning our future together. I am starting to feel a little better but am still wary. H is even leaving his phone laying around all the time to the point if I go to bed early he plugs his phone in in the bedroom with me there and leaves. He also has been leaving his computer open with his aol account up. I have checked occasionally even when he is asleep and there is nothing there. He tells me where he is at at all times and who he is with. He also keeps in contact with me frequently.

Still hoping and praying.

I still think Therapy with Doc H will help you guys. You two sound like a great couple and I want to see you thrive. We all need examples like that out here

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone out there. Made H a homemade Valentine this year and didn't buy him anything. I don't expect to get anything from him either. Everything is still new and raw.

Had talk with H the other day there and got everything off of my chest and he was ok with it. I feel a whole better since telling him how I feel. H said that where at one time he was going to leave in a couple of months if he couldn't move on now he says he isn't going to leave. He finally found "closure" in himself. At least that is something.

Still hoping and praying.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to you too. HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR too.

I am glad that you feel better. Thinking of you.

H found out today that OW lost her job at where he use to work at. She got fired for calling in twice last week. Found out that she has been out late a lot partying. She found another job but is trying to get her old job back. H hopes she doesn't get it back and I think he is glad she lost her job. He said she is a hypocrite. He found out she wasn't doing her job very well any more. I think they were just looking for a reason to fire her because of what had happened. I am so glad. Looks like the fog is lifting just a little bit.

Still hoping and praying.

Doing fine today. Put on call at the hospital. First time in 2 months. If I don't go in today I will have 5 days off in a row.

DD 19 starts her new job at my hospital on Monday. She is so excited. She is going to go into the medical field and the hospital will help her with her schooling. If she stays there she can retire by the time she is 49yrs old.

H and I have been talking a lot and mostly it has been me talking this time. He talks to but this time it mostly about me and what I wan and what I feel. I have decided to back off a little bit on the amount of affection I show H to see what he would do and now he is coming to me to get affection. Not a lot but he comes to me to hug me and get me to give him a kiss. I figured if I backed off a little maybe he would miss it and come to me and he did. I guess he missed it.

Still hoping and praying.

Are you guys getting your 15 hours in?

Believe me, it helps TONS!

Would really help if one of those hours were with the Harleys.