It's a shame, but it could also work in our guy's favor.

If OMW isn't MAKING OM do anything, he's more likely to do nothing. It's already clear he wants to take the path of least resistance from his lack of action when WW told him that she and BH were d'ing.

"She talked to OM today and he said he didn't know if he would leave his wife or not."

This is how exposure works. Good job. WW was pushed off the fence. OM now is singing a new tune. OM went from I can't wait til we both get D and live happily ever after to I don't think so any more.

This OM is like many OM. No intention of leaving his BW. He was just looking for extra on the side.

WW has to face this now. It will take time to sink in that she just was being used by the OM.

I have had that conversation with a few punches in the face to go along with it. He was fired from his job 4 days after it.

Or...she knows exactly what will work for the moment. In the short-term, I think OM is going to run home to escape R2Q's wrath. Waywards are notoriously non-confrontational. However, he'll probably do it to his BW again with someone else because of her doormat tendency. Hey, R2Q, maybe direct her to this site at some point. Not sure if now is the time, though.

Did you tell the kids the OM's name, identity?

Nothing like a helpful reminder. He seems to have forgotten.

Just a quick call. Not emotional. More like a cold combination of Bill Hickok and Hannibal Lector. He needs to see the light.

Please tell me if this is a good Plan B letter:

WW,

I want to apologize to you for creating an environment in our marriage that lead to you seeking happiness with another man. The decision to have another child should have been made together, not by just me. My inability to talk a lot about the loss of our other son failed to comfort you, but I was simply dealing with death the way I did in the past, by leaving it in the past. My disconnecting socially and my couch potato lifestyle contributed to your unhappiness and I believe these are the reasons this has happened to us. I am sorry for my part.

I also want to apologize for the hurtful things I have said and the anger I have shown the past 6 months. I have not been the best husband but I hope you know I never intended to hurt you or push you away. I was desperately trying to save our marriage but in reality I was hurting it. I am sorry.

Despite the past 2 years, we have had a good life together full of fun, tears, laughter, growth and joy. I would not want to have shared it with anyone but you.

The pain I feel from your relationship with him is unimaginable. Being around you while you are involved with him will only lead to more angry outburst from me and will only hurt me again, so I am asking you to respect my request that we have no further contact with each other as long as you are pursuing him, waiting on him, or involved with him. I am doing this to protect the remaining love I have for you and I know you have for me. If we need to talk about our son, finances or other business matters please email me or text me.

I am still committed to making our marriage better. I am offering us a chance at a new life, not the same old one we had. This new life will include both of us doing the necessary things to make each other happy. I firmly believe if we follow the correct path and do the right things we can recreate our love and restore our marriage that will not include the things that led to this situation.

In order for that to happen you have to firmly and completely end all involvement with him. It must be 100% and it must be permanent. When you are confident you are ready to do this, call me and we can discuss the next steps and the things required for both of us to do for a new life together as friends and as a Godly family.

I have hope of a much happier marriage together because I know there is history, love, family, and friendship on our side.

BH

Would you read and comment on my plan b letter below?

thanks

Yes. He knows him and told WW last night he hates his guts.

Don't start out by apologizing for anything. You didn't make her have an A.

Can you give me an outline and I can fill in the sentences?

my beloved WW,

I want to apologize to you for creating an environment in our marriage that lead to you seeking happiness with another man. The decision to have another child should have been made together, not by just me. My inability to talk a lot about the loss of our other son failed to comfort you, but I was simply dealing with death the way I did in the past, by leaving it in the past. My disconnecting socially and my couch potato lifestyle contributed to your unhappiness and I believe these are the reasons this has happened to us. I am sorry for my part.

I also want to apologize for the hurtful things I have said and the anger I have shown the past 6 months. I have not been the best husband but I hope you know I never intended to hurt you or push you away. I was desperately trying to save our marriage but in reality I was hurting it. I am sorry.

I have been in love with you since (insert date or event).

Despite the past 2 years, we have had a good life together full of fun, tears, laughter, growth and joy. I would not want to have shared it with anyone but you.

The pain I feel from your relationship with him your adultery partner (insert name) is unimaginable. Being around you while you are involved with him will only lead to more angry outburst from me and will only hurt me again, so I am asking you to respect my request that we have no further contact with each other as long as you are pursuing him, waiting on him, or involved with him. I am doing this to protect the remaining love I have for you and I know you have for me. If we need to talk exchange information about our son, finances or other business matters please email me or text me contact (insert intermediary's name) and he/she will relay important information.

I am still committed to making our marriage better. I am offering us a chance at a new life, not the same old one we had. This new life will include both of us doing the necessary things to make each other happy. I firmly believe if we follow the correct path and do the right things we can recreate our love and restore our marriage that will not include the things that led to this situation.

In order for that to happen you have to firmly and completely end all involvement with him, for the rest of our marriage . It must be 100% and it must be permanent. When you are confident you are ready to do this, call me contact my IM and we can discuss I will relay the next steps and the things required requirements for both of us to do commit for to a new life together as friends in love with each other. and as We can become a Godly family.

I have hope of am certain we can work toward a much happier marriage together because I know there is history, love, family, and friendship on our side.

BH

I love the editing. It always amazes me how much can and should be cut out of a BS's first draft of a PBL.

Awesome!

Just curious, how did you avoid assault charges? One of our favorite old former posters here lilsis ended up in jail for a weekend eating bologna sandwiches because she confronted and slapped her OW.

The OM is a wussy. He curled up in a ball and waited for a coworker to pull me off him.

Not sure why he didn't press charges. Just didn't.

Damn that co-worker!

Great image though.

I think I damaged some knuckles. 6 months later two still hurt and have small bumps on them.