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WOW R2Q and Pep. I like the editing. I wish I had that letter to give to WH when I went to Plan B. That one is AMAZING.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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I think I damaged some knuckles. 6 months later two still hurt and have small bumps on them. Sounds like a good old fashioned whoopin! I remember one night after D-Day telling my WxW that I could not picture a better way to spend a long Saturday afternoon than peeling Gollum's face off with a butter knife. She knew I meant it.
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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I think I damaged some knuckles. 6 months later two still hurt and have small bumps on them. Love you, man!! I broke my 5th metcarpal in a similar incident during my wife's first A (long time ago). Best pain I ever felt. [just had to throw that in- now go back to work, :)] ~opt
Me: 43 y.o. BFWH, D-day 11/11/09 (NC since 9/01) Divorce from WW final 9/16/10. Current Status: MB-based Marriage to Nature Girl 12/8/12 (first date on 12/11/10) Mine: S(16), D(11) NatureGirls: S(23), D(21) Another EA Story
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Yes OMW wants marriage to work. OMW has told OM its up to you. I am praying for you to return to our marriage and to God. He she working a plan to return OM to there marriage? Or is she one of those "If god wants it to be, it will be" and then does nothing type of people? The good lord helps those who help themselves.
Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
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She has put it in Gods hands and told her husband he is free to leave if that is what he wants.
BH Age 45
WW Age 44
M 20 yrs
Son 14 yrs
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If we need to talk about our son, finances or other business matters please email me or text me. RTQ, take out this comment entirely. Replace it with: please contact ____[designate an intermediary]___with any pertinent information. Otherwise, Email and text messages are contact, and that will not work. Also, I would suggest having another face to face with weasel boy if you think you can control yourself from punching him. Even though he DESERVES a beat down, it would harm you legally. CAn you do that?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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RTQ, are the parents of the OM living? If so, do they know what he is doing? Does the OM have a facebook page?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Im not sure what another face to face would accomplish? I have talked to him 3-4 times with the last being physical.
BH Age 45
WW Age 44
M 20 yrs
Son 14 yrs
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Im not sure what another face to face would accomplish? I have talked to him 3-4 times with the last being physical. The goal is to cause as much trouble as possible. Dr Harley has advised BH's to contact the OM every time he has evidence of contact. To make his life a living, unmitigated hell.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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She has put it in Gods hands and told her husband he is free to leave if that is what he wants. Does she just not care anymore, or is she in Plan-Hope? If it is Plan-Hope, do you think you could convince her to do an actual plan?
Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
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I think parents have passed away. He has no FB page.
BH Age 45
WW Age 44
M 20 yrs
Son 14 yrs
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OK, should I also delete the asking for forgiveness part at the begining?
BH Age 45
WW Age 44
M 20 yrs
Son 14 yrs
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I am going to modify Pep's great edit a bit. As it will get confusing I will simply take out what she lined out so that you can see it better. my beloved WW,
[
I have been in love with you since (insert date or event).
Wwe have had a good life together full of fun, tears, laughter, growth and joy. I would not want to have shared it with anyone but you.
The pain I feel from your relationship with your adultery partner (insert name) is unimaginable. I am asking you to respect my request that we have no further contact with each other as long as you are pursuing him, waiting on him, or involved with him. I am doing this to protect the remaining love I have for you. If we need to exchange information about our son, finances or other business matters please contact (insert intermediary's name) and he/she will relay important information.
I am still committed to making our marriage better. I am offering us a chance at a new life, not the same old one we had. This new life will include both of us doing the necessary things to make each other happy. I firmly believe if we follow the correct path and do the right things we can recreate our love and restore our marriage that will not include the things that led to this situation.
In order for that to happen you have to firmly and completely end all involvement with him, for the rest of our marriage . It must be 100% and it must be permanent. When you are confident you are ready to do this, contact my IM and I will relay the next steps and the requirements for both of us to commit to a new life together in love with each other. We can become a Godly family.
I am certain we can work toward a much happier marriage together because I know there is history, love, family, and friendship on our side.
BH I was going to add someting but decided that Pep's edit really stands on its own, so I will just repost is to that you can see it without line outs. God Bless, JL PS: You have done a fine job handling this so far. Oddly, I think in the end you will be the one having a problem coming back to this marriage and your W will be the one wanting it more. OM is NOT committed to her. He was just committed to the fun part.
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Wow, I can't thank you enough for your words and help. You and others here are an answered prayer....literally.
Honestly I have wondered if I can truly return to this if WW is willing. I hope and pray I can.
You are very perceptive. Why do you say that about me having the hard time?
BH Age 45
WW Age 44
M 20 yrs
Son 14 yrs
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R2Q, You asked Why do you say that about me having the hard time? Because you are going to be learning alot of things on this site. YOu have already learned alot of things and most of all you have learned what a real and good relationship/marriage is. You know what you need now. YOu know what you can give. You know what you cannot do, principle among those is change your W. You know she will have to do a lot of hard work. AND YOU will have doubts because frankly she doesn't know what a good marriage is or can be. Most BS's have a hard time, but your W is still in the A and as time goes on, you will learn you can live without her. You will also learn what you cannot live without, and if she cannot provide what you cannot live without, you will have a hard time accepting less. I'm not saying that your marriage won't survive. I am saying that she is really going to have to make a compele 180 and some WS's do. But, the longer she continues the A the less margin of error there is. Harley states that recovery is a very very narrow path and that is why he doesn't tolerate people "doing it themselves and ignoring his advice." You have done well. There is hope, but I can sense you growing as you learn and endure. Hence my comments to you. Whether it is this marriage or your next, you WILL BE a much better husband, friend and companion and you will require more from your partner. Just thoughts. God Bless, JL
Last edited by Just Learning; 02/19/10 03:07 PM.
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Dr Harley has advised BH's to contact the OM every time he has evidence of contact. To make his life a living, unmitigated hell.
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Im not sure what another face to face would accomplish? I have talked to him 3-4 times with the last being physical. Disrupt, disrupt, disrupt the affair. Make it all not worth it for this piece of garbage. opt
Me: 43 y.o. BFWH, D-day 11/11/09 (NC since 9/01) Divorce from WW final 9/16/10. Current Status: MB-based Marriage to Nature Girl 12/8/12 (first date on 12/11/10) Mine: S(16), D(11) NatureGirls: S(23), D(21) Another EA Story
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Just thoughts.
God Bless,
JL
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Pep,
Where did you find this???? I gotsta know. I have a whole mailing list I need to send this to.
Thanks,
JL
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WOW!! I just got off the phone with WW. Remember I forced her to leave yesterday. WW in love with OM. I Told her we were divorcing, she immediately tells OM the "good news".
Yesterday OM told WW he didn't know if he could leave his wife.
I talked to OMW and she confirmed OM doesn't know what he is going to do.
WW told me she would call him today and find out what he was going to do. She seemed confident of what the answer would be.
Well I just talked to her and said, I think I have the right to know if you have talked to him and if he is leaving his wife so I hear it from you and not the garbage man.
Well she broke down. Said he called her this morning, OM said he hated himself for ruining WW life, was very short and "panicked tone". OM said I just dont think I can leave my wife.....and then hung up on WW.
Well I turned on the kind heart and said I know that had to hurt you and I am sorry that you are hurting, regardless of the unpleasant reason.
WW asked me "do you think he used me". I said I have told you that he was a player for months and when crunch time comes he will not leave his wife. Said this has forced him to decide and he is willing to play and have fun as long as he can be a cake eater and have both. LOL......LOL
BH Age 45
WW Age 44
M 20 yrs
Son 14 yrs
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