Hey girl!!!

Call me anytime!!!! I really mean it. God didn't make us soul sisters for nothin'

Love ya'

I got one of these too. J couldn't handle him at all and told me on several occasions that he didn't like him. J's gone the other way now - if I'm weary of DS and the slavery he tries to inflict on me, J sticks up for him


You got me here Queenie, having read this and L4s farewell I had to go and get a box of tissues

I hope you are feeling less tired than you were earlier in the week.


I was having a chat with my sis the other day and we were saying how much easier life is when you appreciate the good things and thank God. I always think of you, when I thank God and appreciate things because it seems that it is something that you never forget to do.

Same words are spoken by a BS. His feelings are valid and understandable.
You know, this may help your son to have strong boundaries in his own M and make a wise choice in his future W.


The fact that he had the strength to confront his father, is telling of the way you have shown your own strength to him.

I can't imagine.

Hi Queenie,
With your words I feel your struggle and would just like to catch you and give you a hug.

Amazing all the people we help but we can't help ourselves in our darkest hours.

Get out of that place. It is not good or healthy for you. Call your sponsor -- hourly if needed. In my Alnon class they hand out phone lists at each meeting. Start calling everyone as needed.

Vent here. This place has been my Godsend. Every day. Blessed by my fellow Mbers.

If all else fails...come visit! ok not realistic but at least it is warmer (even though it has been raining buckets recently)

Hugs and you and your family are in my prayers.

Shabbat Shalom, Queenie!

{{{{{{{{QUEENIE}}}}}}}}}}},

Hey my bestest girl!!!!!!.....ya know, you and I have been chatting on here for over 2 years now???....my where ever does the time go???....

What was the best advice Mimi ever gave YOU???....

I know for me it was "finding my PERSONAL POWER. And I know that having watched you, you found that and further more you EXUDE it. Reading about your trials the last couple of weeks PROVES that.

I'm sad you'll be missing your son....glad that he had a wonderful mother in you......my PRAYERS will be going with you two....

loves ya muches Q....

not

Wow. Sure is quiet around here these days.

Was that a cricket?

Shabbat Shalom, Queenie.

Mark

Queenie, checking in with you. Keep posting girl. Miss you

So it's been over two weeks since we've heard from you and the last we heard you were not feeling well.

Are you gonna talk to us or am I gonna have to get on a plane and come looking for you?

Praying all is well, Queenie.

Mark

Speak to us, Queenie.

Shabbat Shalom!

Long time no thoughts Queenie ......

meditating maybe ???

have taken up belly dancing ??? (it's harder than ya think and takes a lot of practice!)

ear candling perhaps ???

I hope your son is doing well, and Mama is too!!!!

Mrs Q,

long time no hear. miss you lots

Hi guys, I really missed you guys. To be honest, I slipped on and off a while back, but was struggling and just didn't have the strength to post.

So much has happened in these short weeks and I needed to curtail and be still so my G-d could lead and direct me to where he wanted me to go. Not where silly Queenie thought she should go.

Where do begin. I imagine OS is almost into or just about finishing his second week of boot camp. Don't know how he is doing, but do have an address to send letters and did get his clothes. I miss him, but that's normal.

DD, for many might not know is pregnant. She isn't married and honestly I was very embarrased because one thing I realized through this mess was that I am very old fashioned. She is doing well for the most part. A way bit of the drama, but she learned that so well from me. Her latest stunt was yesterday she and BF came by - H fixed his car and BF fixed our computers. She was off for most of the day, but I just attributed it to her pregnancy. I get this text at work today that she is in so much pain because she had been up all night getting sick because she thinks she has food poisoning.

Thinking about what she possibly could have eaten at my house I smartly ask her what the last thing was she ate - proceeds to tell me ice cream from coldstone creamery. I quickly think to myself as long as she stayed away from the raw cookie dough - should be safe. OH NO, not my DD... Raw cookie dough it was. So I had her call the drs. Next thing I know she is off to the hospital b/c they think she is in pre labor because of the back pains. I don't know about you guys, but when I sat over a toilet, pregnant or not and prayed to the porcelain G-d, my back hurt. But... being the loving mom, I just told her I was here to support her. Good news, she isn't in pre labor, however she was severely dehydrated and received 5 iv bottles. OY VEY is she going to swell...

H has been putting off completing his 4th step and putting it off and putting it off that G-d felt he had enough distractions so he made it possible for H to get fired AGAIN in the last 8 months. Not sure if he is to receive unemployment and if not, that will really hurt us, but I trust my G-d.

The people who were living in our house have moved out and now it's up for sale. It's lost about 150K in value and it maybe appear that we are going to lose it to forclosure. But my G-d will open a door where this one is closing. I just have to keep trusting him.

My son wants me to come out to Ill. for his Navy graduation and quite honestly I'm too embarassed to go because of the weight that I gained back, so I had to dig deep inside and find a way to work on my weight. The good news was I lost 6.5 lbs in two weeks, the bad news... I gained 4 lbs back. I'm not sure what that's about, but I know that as long as I keep doing the footwork and trying, the results are in G-ds hands.

My YS whose grades have been failing almost from D-day, finally brought his grades up to 5 A's and 1 B. How totally cool is that for him. I'm so very proud of him.

My sister is a cutter, a bulemic, addict/alcoholic and one messed up human being in life. She isn't sober and she is cutting herself again because she hates her life. Oh yeah, she had been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and it's evidently in it's active state and she has no way of walking through it. I feel helpless as to help her, but I trust my G-d to take care of her and if he needs me, he will let me know.

I found myself struggling internally and I did what I was taught, attend more meetings, talk to my sponsor and work with others. Oh yes, did I mention TRUST G-D. Because as JT and Mark so often taught me, MY G-d has plans for me.

Now I'm a woman who always liked her alone time, until D-day and then I could never imagine wanting to be alone, but through in a vacation from school along with a fired H and you have a Queenie who just wants some alone time. HOWEVER, Queenie remembers her promises to G-d and so she sucks up what she wants and seeks G-d for what to do. I made the most of our time together. And do you know what, we really for the most part had the most magnificent time. We took walks together, we went to pick up his last pay check and then went to the beach and took pictures with our cameras. We just were normal. Easy and loving.

I'll get back to him, but let me finish updates around Queenie. My friend who at one point was carrying triples, but is down to twins, was told that the placentas were too close and so she must carry both babies until they are born. However her baby is going to die very soon after birth. Pep, I took your suggestions to her and she posts regularly updates about both babies, takes lots of pictures and has named both babies. Not to mention she is reading up on what will happen to the baby and how long it will take for it to die. Can you imagine what that would be like?

Last Thursday a former co-workers 17 year old up and coming DD died of a blood clot in her lung. I found out today that a former parent and man who played soccer with my H died last night of cancer. He leaves behind a loving wife and two relatively young children. Then I get home and go on facebook and find out that another friend has lost her father today.

Now for the marital recovery....

I read just today or yesterday on Traci's thread, at least I think it was there about the laughter. Pep asked if they were laughing and I took so much comfort from that. Because we have laughed so much together lately and continue to heal.

Are there still red flags. OH YOU BET... But I keep remembering that I am not ready to end this marriage and that I need to give G-d more time because I TRUST my G-d more than anyone or anthing I can't see.

Still no SF.. I asked H what makes us different than being roomates. His response was roomates don't share bank accounts but more importantly they don't sleep together. We cuddle very tightly at night, we cuddle all the time, we kiss, we touch and for today I need to be satisfied with what G-d is giving me on this subject.

When WH was in full force he used the line that he had no desire for me and he only desired her. Last week on one of our walks he told me that was a lie and that this is HIS issue. He is scared. I believe him. I don't like his answer, but I believe him.

When he lost his job, he didn't come home and tell me about it until almost 5 days later. He lost his job the Friday before my son left and didn't want to ruin the weekend for us and by Monday he said he got scared. I believe him, because Skinsgal would have freaked out, and today I just trust my G-d that if we lose everything, I still have my relationship with G-d and he will walk me through anything.

When he was WH, I remember very clearly having a conversation with him about giving up my friends and I remember him sending an email where he sets me up saying how does he know that I won't push him to the bottom of the food chain. I knew words would have no meaning and so since we have gotten back together I have virtually given up having any outside friends unless it's AA. I miss my GF, and we talked about this on Friday night. He told me that "that" person wasn't looking for the truth, just to push me away and that he supports and wants me to be with my friends because it's healthy for us.

In the span of three days, two separate incidents he stopped me to say that the monster he was isn't him anymore and that the beliefs that I was operating out of from fear don't need to exist. He isn't going anywhere and that he wants to be married to me.

The positives are he continues to grow, change, think of others first and become someone I can be proud of and respect. I no longer walk in fear of what happens if.

He wants our marriage. He wants, but he is scared and these fears are from HIS childhood, not our marriage. I didn't cause them, I can't control them, I can't cure them.

I have come to accept after talking to JT numerous times and other people that what I am doing is the right thing, not because I'm sacrificing my life but because G-d is using me for a bigger purpose and that one day G-d will reward me beyond my wildest dreams for my obedience to him.

So... I apologize for not being in touch more. Queenie needed to be still, seek G-d and walk in his shadow like he taught me because he has plans for me and I needed listen and focus on him a lot more.

Thank you for the update. We're not nagging, we are just concerned about you. Your a special woman to alot of people.

Recovery is so hard, as you know LOL. If you are seeing progress and both you and God are still ok with things then carry on.

love you lots lady

Queeenie

Sorry to hear this.



I know personally for me putting this off kept me from the light of the Spirit. I pray your H will take this step.

Mainly just wanted to stop by, Say HI-HI and catch up with where you are at.

Really great to see you in recovery.

Nesre

Hey Queenie

Sounds like you've had plenty on your plate.

I'm keeping sending you those positive thoughts and prayers.