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A male or female who understands the 15 steps to an affair can move a target down the road easily. And this guy is a serial seducer who has had ample opportunity in the past to perfect and discover techniques that work. Many, many years ago, I used to take delight in telling guys like pond scum that his target had three brothers who were professional wrestlers.
If you want to read 15 steps, Pep posted it recently. After my own wife read it, she had to go puke. This was five years ago. 15 Steps has been around a while. HERE <~~~ LINK
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Items handled today: - New bank account with funds transfer capability to/from joint account (joint account can only transfer *to* the new account).
- Funds transferred out of joint account, excepting funds necessary to pay already scheduled bills for the next three days.
- Submitted change to my payroll direct deposit information
- Paid retainer for divorce attorney (OUCH!!!!! Thank goodness for the 0% on purchases for 6 months credit card)
- Requested that the attorneys call me at their earliest convenience to talk about the Saturday moving issue (they were both in court). Mentioned to the assistant in the office that I had already changed locks and garage opener code. Was told that it was a good thing they've already been done since it would not be allowed once a petition is filed.
While I'm standing in the attorney's office, my father-in-law calls. He says that we might have some things to talk about and was curious about my schedule. We're going to meet for breakfast tomorrow. I plan to hand him a copy of SAA for his own reading.
I'm not a complete idiot. There are parts missing.
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Doing good! No, doing great!
In addition to SAA, he might be enlightened by copies of the more damning of the emails. Fathers do NOT like to think their daughters are victims of predators.
Larry
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Wow, sounds like it won't be long before PS starts working on his next conquest (if he hasn't already...)
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!
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Unfortunately, OM has no reason to move on from my WW yet. They are still in constant contact via phone and in person (lunch date yesterday at Hooters).  It was considerate of him to use one of her two laptops while they were there. 
I'm not a complete idiot. There are parts missing.
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Somewhere, probably lurking in Pep's mind, there is a diatribe on the mind of a woman who is attempting to justify to herself being a mistress.
It was originally posted on a forum that is sympathetic to mistresses.
It is a classic.
Maybe if you read it, you might get some insight into how she is thinking right now.
I think the headline is that it will be different. .. this time.
Larry
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[quote=gnirlos]Items handled today: - New bank account with funds transfer capability to/from joint account (joint account can only transfer *to* the new account).
- Funds transferred out of joint account, excepting funds necessary to pay already scheduled bills for the next three days.
- Submitted change to my payroll direct deposit information
- Paid retainer for divorce attorney (OUCH!!!!! Thank goodness for the 0% on purchases for 6 months credit card)
- Requested that the attorneys call me at their earliest convenience to talk about the Saturday moving issue (they were both in court). Mentioned to the assistant in the office that I had already changed locks and garage opener code. Was told that it was a good thing they've already been done since it would not be allowed once a petition is filed.
You are doing great!!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Disappointing. No copies of SAA at any B&N or Borders in town. Only saw one copy of HNHN.
I can check it out from the library again, but it won't have quite the same effect when I hand it to FiL and say ,"umm, don't forget that I need to return this in three weeks..."
I'm not a complete idiot. There are parts missing.
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Looking from a high level point of view � there are some interesting dynamics at play in favour of Gnirlos.
1. OM is a seasoned predator 2. OM has lost his family and home 3. OM has few financial resources 4. WW has deep pockets 5. WW BH is going dark 6. WW children are not on her side 7. FIL wants to discuss situation with BH tmrw.
Perfect setup for Plan B � OM will look a tad weaker now in this position and WW will no doubt have to bank roll the affair. This affair should have a short life span. Even better if Daddy gets on same side as BH and gives WW/OM a good talking to.
You are getting some great advice here - stay on the offensive as long as possible, wear a suit of armour for the backlash and watch for some dirty tricks such as RO on you when this phase starts winding down.
Only concern is that OM will eventually get desperate to have you replaced in the home with himself.
t/j - nice seeing you back larry - in the past we lightly discussed these predator types - this one is a classic.
Me:52 W: 52 Married: 32 yrs 2 Sons (29 & 23) 1 Dtr (20) 1 GDtr (2.5) precious little girl
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I bought a copy online from B&N last night on the internet. It was actually a used copy.
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Show these to your FIL when you meet with him:
""�"I�m so sorry to hear this. I haven�t seen OM for about 13 years. I would have thought over time he would have wised up, or OMW would have dumped him. It�s hard to believe neither has occurred!" �"for some reason i am not surprised by this........." �"Im sorry to hear this news but it doesnt take me by surprise, my son has been a student of <karate assocation> for years and this is not the first time or the first woman. Ive suspected this happening all along. It greatly saddens me for you and your family. Its a shame that he would possibly cause problems in 2 or more marriages. I am sorry for your news and I hope that your family gets through this misfortune." �"Dude....... how innocent can you be? It's been goin' on ALOT longer than you think.... Haven't you ever heard the snide remarks and laughing that goes on..... and the work "conqubine" ..... That is what OM does.... his own daughter caught him in the act with one of the brown belts.... Whoever he is runnin' with and travelin' with ... is who he's "screwing" .... Many people have left the organization because of him "hittin' on" ... their wives or daughters..... AND....... there's been way more than 2 or 3...... probably hundreds.... All the karate men.... used to compete ... on who had the most conquest........ He is no friend to marriage....... especially his own...... but OMW has put up with it all these years.... Best wishes..... And ... THIS is between YOU & ME........" �"First off I'm sorry to hear of your situation. Honestly, I don't know OM very well but I have been in your shoes with an ex-wife. It kills. Wish you the best. I know your heart hurts." �"Im sorry to hear that sir. I have been there before and I can feel your pain. Please be strong and think wisely. Anger may get the best of us sometimes. Im sure you will do the right thing. Wish you all the best sir from California." �"Sick news...but hope and prayers for you. This is something I have dealt with my whole life, but will never seem to understand. People who expect self control should have some." �"I am so sorry to hear that. I remember you in one of the dinner night we have together." �"You are younger and better looking than OM, I bet you that if you try to win her back, it will not take great convincing.""
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I'm starting to overanalyze tomorrow's meeting. I can see three possibilities: - FiL actually wants to talk
- WW asked him to do it so she has a known time and place for my whereabouts for serving papers
- The family is planning an intervention for my erratic behavior
Bleh...why can't I just think positive about anything...
I'm not a complete idiot. There are parts missing.
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I' [*]The family is planning an intervention for my erratic behavior [/list] For YOUR "erratic" behavior?  What have you done that is "erratic?" Personally, I thought having an adulterous affair with a married man and abandoning your family was a little on the "erratic" side, but thats just me... 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Um, erratic? Not!
Do be prepared for whatever though. Typically fathers try to protect their daughters no matter what. In this case, you are in a position to steer him from protecting her from you to protecting her from OM.
Larry
t/j Hiya Rwinger. Yep, we have discussed pond scum in the past. I spotted the probability with his first post. Am glad to be back and thanks for the welcome. Wish I could find that "This time its different" post.
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Ok, found it. It was in an old thread of mine. I am going to copy the post I made below. I had left it for my wife to read and I got a call at work where she said, in a small voice, "I am reading what he said to me." But I knew that.
This is not for a weak stomach. And sorry, it is a lot to read, but the reality is, affairs are a lot to digest.
____________
There are multiple sides to an affair. Of course there are the two participants who choose and all of those around them who are caught in the web, especially the betrayed. As a BS, it was and is important for me to understand the dynamics of an affair, each tiny little drop. That is just me, your mileage may vary.
I found an old post somewhere, I forget where although I have looked for a day or so to see where I picked it up. We can all attempt to make reason out of the madness of an affair and not find any answers. What I am posting below is an ironic diatribe on a sociopathic male pushing the buttons of a vulnerable female. While I found this diatribe on MB, it originally came from TOW, a site for The Other Woman, as well it should.
Women have this illusion that they can manipulate men. Just listen to the conversations between high school girls to see the ego hanging out. But men can push a woman's buttons as well. And depending on the ability of a woman to set boundaries in her life, be more or less successful.
I left this little ditty where my wife could find it. What she read helped her to understand that it was not just about 100% of her responsibility. There were buttons that got pushed, buttons where she had no boundaries and no defenses, and while yes, the choice was 100% her responsibility, it was also about vulnerabilities. In my opinion, unless a WS understands why they did it, really, they cannot set up boundaries and a life style that keeps them safe in the future.
The key to reading this is that not all statements are made by a given OM. The key is that the psychology of button pushing is valid and that all of us have vulnerabilities we may or may not know about. Should we? Of course. Do we? _________
He'll be different with you, you're special. Author Unknown
You two have a "connection," a rapport that he didn't (doesn't) have with his wife. You have more things in common, similar personalities. He's pointed out all the ways that you two are so alike - it's just uncanny. You are so lucky to have met him at this point in your life. He says that he really appreciates you for who you really are or really need (or whatever) - and he's the first person to really do that, or the first one in a long time, now isn't he? Sure, he said the same things to *her* when he got together with her (and then grew to hate so many things about her), but it's different with you. He couldn't possibly be operating from scripts anymore. And it's so nice to finally have someone YOU can lean on, have fun with and just relax and be yourself, isn't it? And he can lean on you!
All of a sudden, here's this guy offering to help in ways that no one ever did. Knowing all the things you have been longing for lately and wanting in a partner. He couldn't possibly be hooking into your heart-felt desires and hurt places and pretending to be the answer, because he knows that's where you are vulnerable.
He couldn't be pretending to like the things you like, and want the things you want, and be the person you have been looking for (even if you didn't know you were looking), because it's part of his patterns. Just because he did that with the women that came before you, doesn't mean he's doing that with you.
He's really sincere this time.
He's told you all his deep dark secrets (at least, all the ones he thinks can win him sympathy and attention). He's acknowledged how he behaved badly in the past (even though it was brought out by who he was with). You two must have a very special connection for him to be so open and "honest". And he seems to be remorseful, so that must mean he won't do that kind of thing again, right?
Not with you. You're special. You can fix him. So what if he told his wife the same kinds of deep, dark secrets, opened up in the same way? So what if he exhibited the same kind of remorse for things he did to partners before HER? So what if he told her all the same sob stories and pretended to be working on his ****** with her? So what if he lied to his therapist and others? He really means it this time, with you. You can save him. So what when he had his problems he used her for a while, with you he will be different, you're special.
He says things are going to be different with YOU. Even though he SAYS he accepts responsibility for his actions, he also says that it was really things in HER that brought out his bad behavior. He's not going to be like that with YOU. Sure, he said the same things to HER, but this time he'll be different, because he's told you how YOU are different from her. (So what if he's told other people how you remind him of HER? That doesn't mean he's following the same old patterns, targeting the same types of women.
That doesn't mean that he'll be in turn emotionally abusive with YOU at some point...) He's such a sweet, wonderful, helpful guy, it MUST have been something in HER that caused him to act badly, right?
So what if he was busy cutting her down behind her back with their mutual friends while he was telling her she was the "best thing that ever happened to him", and that he had "never loved anyone as much as he loved her"? That doesn't mean he still has the capacity to be manipulative and dishonest and cruel. He was just confused, the poor man. And besides, he won't be like that anymore, with the right woman to love him and dote on him. She just didn't give him the kind of attention he really needed. But YOU will. So he'd NEVER do that to YOU.
So what if he didn't leave his wife before he got together with you? It's not like an abuser should spend a few years in therapy, and work on his stuff before getting involved in another intimate relationship, right? I mean, after over 3 (or four) decades of emotional abuse and being an abuser, he can get himself fixed up enough to stop harming others in a just few months, with the right woman to rescue, er, "help" him.
And those stories of how his wife has emotionally abandoned him... He's just had it so ROUGH all his life! He told you how she didn't even try to keep the marriage together or say that she wanted to try to salvage their relationship when he said he wanted to separate. She was just so unfeeling! The poor man - here he was trying so HARD and all - seeing a counselor and everything! It couldn't possibly be that SHE was so emotionally beaten down by his behavior that she was RELIEVED when he wanted to leave... He couldn't have been emotionally abusive and dishonest with HER too!
If his wife didn't trust him, it had nothing to do with HIM and his behavior - it must have been HER issues.
Even if in his past, he DID say, "Some of the problems I bring about by vamping, pumping up the emotional content of a situation. Of course that's easy to do with a new friend. I have a stock of techniques and behaviors, tested. I'm also inventive ... so I pick up new techniques fairly quickly ... It's just I'd rather enjoy the "romance".
It comes naturally to me. I enjoy doing it. It's also a head trip for me, with my poor self esteem, to have someone so taken with me. I like the first results, the joyous feelings, the elation, the euphoria, just not where it leads." ... he couldn't possibly still have been doing that with his wife, or even YOU. He has REAL, deep feelings for you. You've even seen him cry and show his vulnerable side. That MUST mean he's sincere, right? He couldn't possibly be using YOU for an ego stroke. Not the man YOU know.
He's just so caring and sensitive and considerate. He's so sweet, making love, sending you little cards, doing all those romantic things. He really does seem too good to be true - cooking, cleaning, intelligent, creative, affectionate. So what if he was like that for the first year or so with her too... before the subtle patterns of abuse started to creep in? So what if all that "wonderful" behavior shifted until he was telling her he loved her one day and then telling others how horrible she was behind her back the next? He wouldn't do that to you too, down the road. She must have brought it out in him. He couldn't possibly be playing the same game over and over again, with you as the next target. No. This time, he'll be different, with you.
So what if he has been incapable of honesty and integrity all his life? So what if he actually admitted to his wife (just about the time you two started up again): "I am afraid of truth-tellers. I have so many lies in my past and present. The truth burns." That couldn't mean that he was telling lies to YOU. After all, he was so HONEST about his dishonesty so THAT'S got to count for something... It must mean he realizes his mistakes and won't make the same ones again, right? The fact that he acknowledges things is so CONVINCING. If he acknowledges it, then he couldn't possibly STILL do those sorts of things. Sure, sure. He had HER convinced too. But he couldn't possibly be STILL lying to YOU. You're special.
Yeah, sure, he might have done those kinds of things in the past, but the past is the past, right? It doesn't have any danger of repeating itself with you. Because you're special. His love for you is so strong and your connection to each other is so different (at least, that's what he has told you, and you know you can trust him, right?), he wouldn't EVER do anything deliberately hurtful or malicious to YOU. He wouldn't undermine YOUR support network and use your friends to hurt YOU. He'd never make snide remarks about YOU behind your back and then make sure you found out about it. No no no. She must have brought that out in him. But you, you're special.
Besides, he's been in therapy. That must mean he's sincere, right? He wouldn't possibly be using the whole "therapy" thing as a cover-up to make himself look better because his reputation got damaged after the fiasco with (his wife, or whoever). He couldn't possibly be using contrition, and the "I feel so bad about myself"-line to get sympathy and support! He couldn't possibly be going after women who have a strong sense of personal responsibility because he knows how to manipulate that to try and get them to feel responsible for HIS sick feelings. He couldn't possibly be seeking out active, intelligent, dedicated women, so that he can PUNISH them when they don't direct all that energy to HIM. Just because he has engaged in such manipulative behavior in the past doesn't mean he would be doing that NOW. Not with YOU. You're SPECIAL.
He's so contrite and sincere about "working on his issues", he couldn't possibly be lying about that. Just because he has a history of pathological lying to himself and others, doesn't mean he'll be that way with you. Besides, if he has deceived himself so completely that HE doesn't know it's a lie, then he can't be held accountable for it, right? He won't use that sort of deception and evasion with YOU. You're special.
The poor guy just made bad choices before (you). Sure he made mistakes, but if his ex doesn't want to have anything to do with him, and now thinks he is mentally ill, it must be because SHE is unstable - I mean, look at how amazing and kind and charming he is with you... He couldn't possibly have been like that with HER TOO... He wouldn't be using stock romance "lines" on YOU. This time, it's REALLY love. You're Special.
Sure, he did a *few* things in his past that were unkind, but he needs to be forgiven for HIS behavior, (after all, she drove him to it, or whoever), but HER mistakes and reactions to his emotional abuse, were unforgivable. But things will be different with you. He won't think YOUR mistakes are unforgivable. He won't apply a double-standard to YOU. He won't expect YOU to be perfect and subtely criticize you when you don't measure up to his standards. You're the one who is going to change his life.
And speaking of unforgivable, of COURSE he can't forgive her for doing things that *hurt* him (he's so deeply sensitive, you see) - but he couldn't possibly have lied about the things he said she did. He couldn't possibly have "set up" situations so he could cry foul... He wouldn't have ENCOURAGED her to do things so he could later claim that he was hurt by her... And, well, even if he DID, maybe do that, he certainly won't do it with YOU. You're too special for that. Any time he tells you he's happy for you and he encourages you to do something, he'll REALLY mean it, with YOU.
He won't create a revisionist fantasy of your past so that he can insist you did things to hurt him as a justification for his cruelty to you. He won't secretly resent you for not devoting all your time to him. Even if he DID do that with her, he won't do it with you. Especially after he makes all those sacrifices for you. He won't secretly be dependent on YOU for all his attention. He won't be more demanding of you and your time and resent you when you don't give it all to him. Not THIS time. You're SPECIAL.
He's such a nice guy, he won't "help" you (especially unsolicited) and then have an unstated hidden agenda like he did with all the others. He's going to claim his right to be "selfish" now, because he's been so USED from all the excessive GIVING he did in the past that nobody really appreciated. The poor guy. He's never taken time to be selfish in the past - not even when he was sitting alone in his room, sucking off his hurts, or using other people. That wasn't selfish - that was just "acting out". But he's better now. Don't worry. He won't use his new-found right to be "selfish" against YOU. No. He really is a changed man, with you. With you he will give unconditionally.
It's no WONDER he behaved so badly! Look at how his wife was always hurting him, oppressing him with her refusal to live her life solely for him, expecting him to be honest with his feelings and actions, when he just wasn't ready. And besides, he just can't handle confrontation, you know? And like, she's just so SCARY when she's upset (it's just so unbecoming when women display any anger!) that he HAD to act that way. She actually raised her voice at times and threw things! Can you imagine? Nobody else is allowed to have anger and raise their voice except HIM.
Because, like, he can't DEAL with it, and he shouldn't be expected to! He couldn't possibly have been projecting HIS issues on her so that someone else could have his anger FOR him, or so that he could get angry with someone other than himself! He couldn't possibly have been DELIBERATELY hitting all her hot buttons to hurt and upset her so he could lay blame. And, well, even if he DID do that for years, he won't do it anymore, with you.
And if somehow you accidentally do things that "trigger" his old abuse patterns, he'll be so sweet in telling you how you are doing things that remind him of her, so that YOU can change YOUR behavior. After all, you wouldn't want him to start acting emotionlly abusive again because of something YOU did.
And you don't have to worry about that, because you'll never get upset with him, and you'll never challenge him to be honest or to accept responsibility for his actions. SHE did that, and it was "controlling," but it'll be different with you, because you know better. And you won't need to worry about calling him on his behavior anyway, because he'll NEVER lie to YOU. He'll always be completely honest and upfront with you.
He won't have to "forget" any promises he made to YOU. If he is inconsiderate, it won't be DELIBERATE, with you. If he lied to her or anyone else, it was because they drove him to it. If he breaks his word, it won't be his fault, someone else drove him to do it.
With you, he won't withhold information, or distort or omit the truth. He won't break fundamental relationship agreements with YOU. He won't HAVE to, because you'll be right there validating him 24/7, supporting him and telling him how he's so CLEVER and BRAVE to have escaped such a horrible relationship, and how wonderful it is that he is working so HARD to overcome his terrible past!
And it's a good thing he's not going to do any of those things he might have done in the past, because then you won't have to worry about forgiving him. You see, she REPEATEDLY forgave him for the lies and the accidentally-on-purpose "mistakes", and all that did was make him feel bad about himself - that she could forgive and he couldn't. Wasn't that AWFUL of her to make him feel so bad that way?
So she DESERVED to be punished even more. And she should NEVER have shown any guilt when he manipulated her. It just caused him to hurt her more. He told her it was "like blood in the water for sharks" for him. She should have known better. YOU know better. But then, he won't be manipulative and passive-aggressive with YOU. He'll be different with you. You're SPECIAL.
And sure he made her work at the relationship when he wasn't really trying, but that wasn't being dishonest - he just didn't know what he really wanted, so that made it OK to put the burden of the relationship responsibility on her. Sure he admitted that he wanted her to make him the first priority in HER life, but he wasn't willing to afford her the same consideration. But that wasn't one of his patterns. He won't do that with YOU. Besides, he admitted his dishonest behavior after he abandoned her, so that makes it ok. It erases everything. His slate's clean. He even said he was sorry, months later, so that shows how sincere he was. He couldn't possibly still have been interlacing the apology with blame. He's not STILL acting manipulative and projecting issues.... and well, if he is, he's only doing that with HER because of their history - he wouldn't do that with YOU.
And it's so sweet how he still talks about how much he cared for his wife, how much he did for her out of love. Sometimes, he even talks fondly of his treasured memories of her, of how she "helped" him (when she wasn't hurting him, the witch) - that must mean he's a deep, sensitive guy, right? Maybe you can even "help" him to forgive her and heal from his terrible past... Just like SHE thought she could "help" him.
And besides, he did so many NICE things for her and all those other women. That should count for SOMETHING, right? It's not like he was emotionally abusive or manipulative ALL the time. So it kind of cancels things out, right? It's not like he HIT anyone or anything. At least the things he did didn't leave any VISIBLE marks. Besides, he probably just made honest mistakes, that's all. He couldn't have actually got off on seeing them hurt and crying. He wouldn't have LAUGHED condescendingly in someone's face while she was crying. Not the man YOU are involved with. HE certainly doesn't remember doing anything like that - and HIS memory is inviolate.
He's told you how different he feels with YOU. How different he IS with you. How healing your love is. How much he NEEDS you. What a wonderful person he thinks you are. How important you are in his life. How much he values and appreciates you, and misses you when you are not together. How amazingly transformed he feels now that he has finally met someone as SPECIAL as YOU. So what if he told her the same things? He really MEANS it this time, with you. He's a changed person, (this time, for REAL) with you. You're special.
You don't need to talk to any of his ex's to find out what he was REALLY like, because the past is the past, right? You couldn't possibly learn anything from their experiences, because he's not going to be like that anymore. It couldn't possibly be that they have anything valid to say. Besides, you trust him to tell you the WHOLE TRUTH about his past (as far as he can "remember" it), right?
And he's such a sensitive, caring guy, he REALLY does wish he and his wife could be FRIENDS now. He can't understand why she would have NO desire to have any contact with him, NO desire to have anything to do with him - after all he did for her, after what they had. After all, SHE is the one who did unforgivable things. He's so uncomfortable around her now, because of how much she hurt him. He wouldn't STILL be projecting HIS issues on her, and implying that they are HER issues... After all, he's a changed man.
But you don't have to worry. He won't PUBLICLY divulge YOUR insecurities or deeply intimate things you told him in confidence to other women - he won't betray your trust - like he did with her. No matter what happens between you and him, you'll ALWAYS BE FRIENDS. You and he will always be able to work things out. So what if he said EXACTLY THE SAME THING TO HER (and all the others) too? It'll be different with you. You're special.
He won't wait a year or two before he starts in on YOU. He won't then use his knowledge of YOUR insecurities and emotional hot buttons to deliberately hurt YOU. He won't start using psychological warfare to couch his deliberately hurtful actions in social plausibility with YOU. He won't flirt with your close friends and use any attraction they might have to him, against YOU. NO. He won't tell you that you just weren't meeting his needs or living up to his expectations. He won't expect you to read his mind. He won't try to make it look like YOU are the reason he is unhappy, and YOU are the cause of your relationship problems. He won't set you up to get upset with him so that YOU are the one who breaks it off with him, (or you get so angry with him that he HAS to break it off with YOU) and HE looks like a martyr (AGAIN). So what if he made all the same promises to her? Just because he was following some of his old patterns when he got involved with you, doesn't mean he's going to follow through on the rest of them. He's CHANGED now.
You're special. Just like SHE was when he was with HER. Just like they ALL thought they were.
YOU are the one who can "fix" his wounded ego. Your relationship with him will be So Much Better than his last ones, because you're special! With you, he'll be honest and straight-forward for the first time in his life. He won't become cruel or passive-aggressive. He won't play head games anymore. He'll stop using and discarding people like old Kleenex. He won't be rude or unkind or disrespectful like he was with those other women. HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH, HE'S NOW A CHANGED MAN. (Changed for the better, of course.) Not because of therapy. Not because he's removed himself from relationships and taken some serious time to get his ****** together. Not because he's done any REAL work. Not because he's actually admitted to his real motivations, or made a single sincere change.
He just needed to find the RIGHT woman to "save" him from himself and "help" him become a better man, and that's YOU.
You just KNOW he'll be different with you. Right?
_____________
Sociopathic males and females abound. I just hope nobody gets married to one.
//Larry
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Somewhere, probably lurking in Pep's mind, there is a diatribe on the mind of a woman who is attempting to justify to herself being a mistress.
It was originally posted on a forum that is sympathetic to mistresses.
It is a classic.
Maybe if you read it, you might get some insight into how she is thinking right now.
I think the headline is that it will be different. .. this time.
Larry It's actually on the Gloria Alred thread on OT.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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I'm starting to overanalyze tomorrow's meeting. I can see three possibilities: - FiL actually wants to talk Which is a good thing. Bring on the convo!
- WW asked him to do it so she has a known time and place for my whereabouts for serving papers I'm not too sure FIL would want to play a part in this sort of devious thing...
 - The family is planning an intervention for my erratic behavior
:::rubbing hands together::: Oh, goodie! Now you have a captive audience to explain what's going on with WW...in your patient, sane and loving way  Bleh...why can't I just think positive about anything... So actually, these are not bad things. Good luck!
D-Day 2-10-2009 Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever! Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Somewhere, probably lurking in Pep's mind, there is a diatribe on the mind of a woman who is attempting to justify to herself being a mistress. Be afraid. Be very afraid !
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So, breakfast was good. FiL expressed his concern about his grandkids and doesn't want to see happen to them what has happened to another of his grandkids where the parents don't get along. He also pushed that we should be communicating and not through a 3rd party and that we should see a marriage counselor. I told him what I told WW in the Plan B letter - that I would not see or communicate with her as long as she was continuing her affair with OM. It was too painful to me. FiL said that WW told him that she and OM are not in communication. I pointed out that 3 hours of conversation across 3 different phones over the past week is more than just karate talk and that, as long as the affair continued, there was no chance in rebuilding our marriage.
FiL stated that he doesn't like OM, but he doesn't know what he could do. I told him that bankrolling my wife's separate life is not safe for FiL monetarily, particularly with OM's money issues. I told him that WW had loaned OM $3K back in December. FiL was not aware of that. (I did not offer up the information that OM did recently pay that loan back.) I also told him that OM had recently introduced WW to a peer of his that runs a karate dojo in town as "She wants to start her own dojo. She's a 'trust-fund baby'." Given that the family is having a Trust Fund meeting this weekend, I told him that they should look to protect themselves.
While I was typing this, FiL called and said that WW would be willing to attend a session with the Harleys, if I can arrange it, in the limited time window that WW has available tomorrow. (She was in his office, when he returned from breakfast and when he called me. I could hear her voice in the background. Looking at the phone logs, it looks like he called her as he left the restaurant.) This, less than a week after WW said that phone counseling is useless because you have to see the body language and that the information on the MB website is "hocus pocus". He said that if I could set it up, to call her and let her know. I told him that I was pass the information along to her through the intermediary.
Can a chat with the Harleys occur during Plan B?
I'm not a complete idiot. There are parts missing.
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FiL was not aware of that. B O O M !!!A direct hit !
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